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A "Lexophile" is a word used to describe those that have a love for words, such as "you can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish", or "to write with a broken pencil is pointless." A competition to see who can come up with the best lexophiles is held every year in an undisclosed location. This year's winning submission is posted at the very end.
... When fish are in schools, they sometimes take debate.
... A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.
... When the smog lifts in Los Angeles U.C.L.A.
... The batteries were given out free of charge.
... A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.
... A will is a dead giveaway.
... With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
... A boiled egg is hard to beat.
... When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.
... Police were summoned to a daycare center where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
... Did you hear about the fellow whose entire left side was cut off? He's all right now.
... A bicycle can't stand alone; it's just two tired.
... When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
... The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine is now fully recovered.
... He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
... When she saw her first strands of grey hair she thought she'd dye.
... Acupuncture is a jab well done. That's the point of it.
And the cream of the twisted crop:
... Those who get too big for their pants will be totally exposed in the end.
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This one seems appropriate for today. Because I am charitable, my info has been sold around to various organizations, and sometimes they send me "stuff" in the mail along with of course, a request for money. I never give to these type of people. I don't want your 'stuff'.
This one seems appropriate for today. Because I am charitable, my info has been sold around to various organizations, and sometimes they send me "stuff" in the mail along with of course, a request for money. I never give to these type of people. I don't want your 'stuff'.
I received 3 requests from the Salvation Army in the name of my deceased father this season. My dad died in 2014. I mailed each of them back labelled "Deceased" and the date of his death. I did not keep track of how many times I have done this since dad died. If I had known how often non-profits send junk to the deceased, I would have started a spreadsheet. I contacted the DMA (Direct Marketing Association) soon after each parent died in order to stop this nonsense. My view of political and non-profit organizations has become increasingly jaundiced over this continual waste of time and money.
"Stop challenging creatures smarter than yourself."
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Lexophiles, guaranteed to make you moan
