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- What if my dog only brings back the ball because he thinks I like throwing it?
- If poison is past its expiration date, is it more poisonous or is it no longer poisonous?
- Which letter is silent in the word SCENT, the 's' or the 'c'?
- Do twins ever realize that one of them was unplanned?
- Why is the letter W, in English, called double U? Shouldn't be be double V?
- Is oxygen slowly killing you but just needs 70-100 years to fully work?
- Every time you clean something you make something else dirty.
- The word SWIMS upside-down is still SWIMS.
- Intentionally losing a game of rock-paper-scissors is just as hard as trying to win.
A long time my computer came with a game like Othello (2 players start out with two round pieces... one players white, the other black. The goal of the game is for one of the player's pieces (color) to cover the board.) You played people all over the world- you would see their country at the bottom of the screen and messages you could send (Hi or Good move or Have a good day etc... But you could not talk or write anything. After a while I was bored with it, so I tried to mix it up. I would play to lose! Play a piece that made it easy for the other to get pieces turned over.
Finally the last time I played- I was playing to lose when I realized the other player was doing the same! They would not take my bate but played a move to set me up. I sent a smiley to them and they sent another. I cannot remember who won or how the game ended! But made a perfect ending to the game!
Location: The Circle City. Sometimes NE of Bagdad.
24,467 posts, read 25,999,509 times
Reputation: 59848
A blonde called her boyfriend and said, Please come over here and help me
I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can’t figure out how to get it started.”
Her boyfriend asked, “What is it supposed to be when it’s finished?”
The blonde said, “According to the picture on the box, it’s a tiger.”
Her boyfriend decided to go over and help with the puzzle. She let him in and showed him where she had the puzzle spread all over the table. He studied the pieces for a moment, then looked at the box, then turned to her and said, “First of all, no matter what we do, we’re not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger.”
He took her hand and said, “Second, I’d want you to relax… Let’s have a nice cup of tea, and then…”
He sighed, “let’s put all these Frosted Flakes back in the box.”
Location: The Circle City. Sometimes NE of Bagdad.
24,467 posts, read 25,999,509 times
Reputation: 59848
HELGA'S DIARY ON A CRUISE SHIP
DEAR DIARY - DAY 1
All packed for the cruise ship -- all my nicest dresses, swimsuits, short sets. Really, really exciting. Our local Red Hat chapter - The Late Bloomers decided on this "all-girls" trip. It will be my first one - and I can't wait!
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DEAR DIARY - DAY 2
Entire day at sea, beautiful. Saw whales and dolphins. Met the Captain today -- seems like a very nice man.
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DEAR DIARY - DAY 3
At the pool today. Did some shuffleboard, hit golf balls off the deck. The Captain invited me to join him at his table for dinner. Felt honored and had a wonderful time. He is very attractive and attentive.
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DEAR DIARY - DAY 4
Won $800.00 in the ship's casino. The Captain asked me to have dinner with him in his own cabin. Had a scrumptious meal complete with caviar and champagne. He asked me to stay the night, but I declined. Told him I could not be unfaithful to my husband.
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DEAR DIARY - DAY 5
Pool again today. Got sunburned, and I went inside to drink at piano-bar, stayed there for rest of day. The Captain saw me, bought me several large drinks. Really is quite charming. Again asked me to visit his cabin for the night. Again I declined. He told me, if I did not let him have his way with me, he would sink the ship... I was shocked.
It was Christmas eve and Santa was at the airport ready to take off to bring all the kids toys.
The FAA inspector went up to Santa and told him that he, Santa needed a check ride.
Santa said that he was busy and could it wait one more day.
The FAA inspector told Santa it would only take a few minutes and they had to do it now.
The FAA inspector goes to his official car and brings back a shot gun.
Santa asked what the shot gun was for.
The FAA inspector said, "Well Santa I should not be telling you this, but you are going to be losing an engine on take off."
Are my blinkers working? Yes, no. Yes, no. Yes, no.
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