Official Joke & Humor Thread - Part Deux [MERGED] (the best, cell phones, boyfriend)

[Deoge]

I was in the hospital and the nurse asked if I was comfortable. I said "I have a nice 401k."

[Rudy53420]

My dad asked me what I wanted to be when I grow up


I said " I want to be an astronaut like the great Neil Armstrong, but instead of going to the moon I'm going to the sun!"

My father called me a dumbazz, he told me the sun was too hot and nobody can go to the sun because they will die.

I told him " You're the dumbazz pops! I'm going to the sun when it's night time!"

My father then sent me to a school for special children

[PAhippo]

I just stepped on a corn flake.

I'm now a cereal killer.

[motormaker]

Gnaw the G is silent

Honest the H is silent

Knee the K is silent

Mom's mad, the whole house is silent

[tulips4you2]

How do you make a tissue dance?



Put a lil' boogie in it!

[PAhippo]

As I watched a dog chasing his tail I thought how easily dogs are amused.

Then I realized I was watching a dog chasing his tail.

[motormaker]

My wife asked me why I was speaking so softly at home.

I told her I was afraid Mark Zuckerberg was listening!

She laughed. I laughed.

Alexa laughed. Siri laughed.

[Eman Resu VIII]

What is a Hindu?


It lays eggs.

[Nomadicus]

What did our parents do to kill the boredom before the Internet? I asked my 26 brothers and sisters and they didn't know either.

[motormaker]

Originally Posted by nomadicus

what did our parents do to kill the boredom before the internet? I asked my 26 brothers and sisters and they didn't know either.

lol