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Old 12-26-2010, 11:16 AM
 
Location: Bradenton, Florida
27,232 posts, read 46,645,569 times
Reputation: 11084

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He's an adult, and he's not doing it under your roof. Give him that much.

 
Old 12-26-2010, 11:17 AM
 
10,624 posts, read 26,728,110 times
Reputation: 6776
Quote:
Originally Posted by Magritte25 View Post
This is a completely separate issue than your son sleeping at his girlfriend's house.
I don't think it is; his parents don't want him to spend the night at his girlfriend's house. They are NOT landlords, they are parents, and he's not a roommate. If he doesn't like their rules then he is an adult, and can move out. It's not an unreasonable expectation.
 
Old 12-26-2010, 11:26 AM
 
28,164 posts, read 25,294,472 times
Reputation: 16665
Quote:
Originally Posted by uptown_urbanist View Post
I don't think it is; his parents don't want him to spend the night at his girlfriend's house. They are NOT landlords, they are parents, and he's not a roommate. If he doesn't like their rules then he is an adult, and can move out. It's not an unreasonable expectation.
But it is. OP even said that the bigger issue is lack of respect vs sleeping at GF's house.

I think it's unreasonable to believe one must agree with their adult child's decisions 100% or they must move out. Very, very unreasonable.

Respect doesn't always mean compliance with another's morals.
 
Old 12-26-2010, 11:47 AM
 
6,497 posts, read 11,812,088 times
Reputation: 11124
If he insists on sleeping at his gf's house, tell him once she's knocked up, he can MOVE IN with the gf and her parents. And notify his parents of the plan. See how much they'll enjoy his disrespect of their household.

In the meantime, since he believes he's entitled to disrespect your household, then he should just move out where he won't have to listen to you, and you don't have to tolerate his crappy attitude. Then give him a deadline to leave. None of this BS about paying rent to you. There'll STILL be an argument.
 
Old 12-26-2010, 12:09 PM
 
25,619 posts, read 36,686,824 times
Reputation: 23295
Quote:
Originally Posted by Magritte25 View Post
But it is. OP even said that the bigger issue is lack of respect vs sleeping at GF's house.

I think it's unreasonable to believe one must agree with their adult child's decisions 100% or they must move out. Very, very unreasonable.

Respect doesn't always mean compliance with another's morals.
Seeing as how you "luv hypocrites" its not a surprise the position you take. The OP's son obviously is not showing the respect to his parents that he is demanding of them through his actions making him an unrespectful hypocrite. If he were renting a room from them and paying his own way it would be a different story. Before you get respect you must give respect. Based on the OP the son deserves no respect at all. He is still behaving like a child.
 
Old 12-26-2010, 01:07 PM
 
Location: Kerkrade, Limburg, Netherlands
262 posts, read 550,232 times
Reputation: 167
Quote:
Originally Posted by isisthea View Post
Yes you're right I'm sure the two teens are playing cards in bed......silly me
You're changing my words.
I said sleeping in one bed does not immediately follow to sex, but if it happens, it also happens without this sleeping in one bed.
I slept so often with my GF in one bed after just watching a movie or something, it's not that weird.
 
Old 12-26-2010, 02:49 PM
 
Location: Foot of the Rockies
90,297 posts, read 120,711,654 times
Reputation: 35920
Quote:
Originally Posted by alphamale View Post
Teens will find a way to have sex. There is no doubt about that. I did.

But it should not be encouraged by adults. No matter how they feel about it.
God forbid that a parent act like a parent for fear of creating tension.
I seldom agree with you, alphamale, but I agee about the bold. I feel the same way about teen drinking, smoking (all substances) and a lot of other things I don't like. There is no need to encourage it, or even say it's OK, if you don't like it.
 
Old 12-26-2010, 03:06 PM
 
852 posts, read 1,365,053 times
Reputation: 1058
This thread is not about whether teens will or should have sex. It's about an 18 y.o. who still lives at home and is blatantly disrespecting his parents' rules. If it's important to his parents that they don't witness these sleepovers with the girlfriend, then the son has the choice to either move out on his own or respect his parents wishes as long as he lives under their roof.
 
Old 12-26-2010, 03:06 PM
 
32,516 posts, read 37,163,875 times
Reputation: 32580
Her parents have no objection, usurp your authority over your own flesh and blood and let them sleep in the same bed? I'm assuming they're having sex. I wouldn't bet that they've gone Amish and are bundling.

Cool beans.

Tell those lovely people you're assuming they have no objection to being morally, physically and financially responsible in every other aspect of his life. Deposit him with the clothes on his back to their doorstep. If you bought his sheets, TV, Ipod, phone, books, computer, posters on the wall and all the other goodies he loves you get to keep them. Feel free to change the songs on his Ipod. You're going to hate them.

If they actually say, "Fine." and let him in it will last a month. Tops. They aren't going to appreciate having another mouth to feed. And a car payment to make. And the car insurance. And the health insurance. Etc., etc., etc. Time for everybody to discover that free love isn't really free. (I'm also betting he'll smart off to them. Or he and the daughter will start having problems. Guess who they are going to side with?)

After they kick him out and he shows up on your doorstep with that hang dog look you haven't seen since he was nine sit him down and explain the rules of living in YOUR house. If he doesn't like it, offer him the computer for an hour to search Craig's List for a place to crash.

He wants the goodies of being an adult. Time to show him the real facts of lfe.
 
Old 12-26-2010, 03:08 PM
 
Location: Denver 'burbs
24,012 posts, read 28,448,855 times
Reputation: 41122
Quote:
Originally Posted by lucygirl951 View Post
This thread is not about whether teens will or should have sex. It's about an 18 y.o. who still lives at home and is blatantly disrespecting his parents' rules. If it's important to his parents that they don't witness these sleepovers with the girlfriend, then the son has the choice to either move out on his own or respect his parents wishes as long as he lives under their roof.
This.
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