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So, I get MissFR up early to go to the doctor, which is not her favorite place in the universe - at the last minute I decide I'd better look at the appointment card and discover it's not until next week. Nearly walked over there for nothing. Silly me.
Speaking of which, how did you guys go about handling shots? I haven't told her she needs one as I don't want her to worry about it unnecessarily ahead of time - what did you do when your kids were little?
My kids are polar opposite in personality so I had to handle them differently, my DD sounds more like yours. I kinda fudged the truth a bit with her. If she asked if she was getting shots, I'd always answer I don't know, the doctor will tell us when we get there. If I told her ahead of time she would work herself up. It's not ideal parenting I know, but it's what worked with her. My DS was not in the least bothered by shots, which is just as well as he has been getting allergy shots for 5 years, and has other health issues. If it was DD needing all the shots, I think I would be self medicating at this stage.
Speaking of which, how did you guys go about handling shots? I haven't told her she needs one as I don't want her to worry about it unnecessarily ahead of time - what did you do when your kids were little?
I don't recall every mentioning it to them ahead of time. They never asked if they were getting shots either. They didn't mind shots. I think part of that has to do with how I handled shots when they were young enough to verbalize being worried about them.
When the doctor would say, "This won't hurt" right before giving the shot, I would interject and say, 'It will hurt, but only for a moment and then it will be a little sore afterwards." Quite a few doctors shot me nasty looks. Seriously? Don't lie to my children! LOL No wonder kids don't like shots with doctors lying and saying it won't hurt. They dont' care about anything but making their job easier. Fortunately, my children never made their job harder. Knowing the truth, they could suck it up very good. They trusted me because I told the truth.
The only time I remember my son having trouble was with getting bloodwork done in the hospital lab. He was terrified. When the tech mentioned (not as a threat but matter of factly) to me that he would need to tie him down, my son pulled himself together and said, "No. I can do it." The tech was skeptical and tried to insist on tying him up. I told the tech that if my son said he could do it without being tied, that I had full faith in him. The tech ended up being very surprised. My son had his blood drawn without drama whatsoever. He was more terrified of being tied up than getting a shot.
I kinda fudged the truth a bit with her. If she asked if she was getting shots, I'd always answer I don't know, the doctor will tell us when we get there. If I told her ahead of time she would work herself up. It's not ideal parenting I know, but it's what worked with her.
That's not really a lie though. You can never truly be certain of when they will give the shots or not. Sometimes they won't because there is a low fever, etc.
It's good that it worked for her. Some children would still get worked up worrying about the unknown. IMO, whatever works best for each kid!
It's also weird, but kids behave very differently when parents are present vs. not. I don't know if kids sometimes feed off the parents anxiety, or exactly what the reason is. My daughter is a good example of this, she is a basket case if I am with her, but if not, she is way more resilient. When I worked with kids I usually found it better without the parents present because I could communicate directly with the child. It was a lot easier to explain what was going to happen in real terms without playing a game of telephone. And as you say Hopes, I was a firm believer in telling the truth, but you'd be surprised how many people don't want their kids to hear that. Moms are notoriously bad for not letting kids interact with health care providers themselves. When we go to the ped or dentists, I want the kids to talk to them with me there, not for me to do all the talking. I am not the patient. Ooh, didn't mean to rant. Sorry.
We have never had poolside incidents, but I have heard of some doozies from surrounding pools. Have people always behaved this badly, or do we think it's getting worse?
Quote:
Originally Posted by rkb0305
I don't know. I was stunned, speechless. I still am when I think of a mom treating another mom like that.
I recall an encounter in the parking lot of a convenience store with a women. She had to have been crazy. I was walking out the door at the same time as them, the little girl held open the door for me. It wasn't a dramatic courtesy, just happened sort of quickly. The mother snarled at me about how rude I was for not thanking her special snowflake for holding open the door for me.
I felt badly about not thanking the little girl (especially since her mother probably made her feel badly by making a big deal about it), and I walked over to her car and apologized very sweetly, explaining briefly that I had been distracted because I was worrying about something. That's all I said, "I'm so sorry. Thank you for opening the door for me. I was distracted because I was worrying about something." (Can't remember what it was now---might have been back when the doctors thought my son had cancer but I didn't provide any details, just said those brief words I quoted.)
The mother FREAKED and started SCREAMING at me, accusing me of lying, that I was really just a mean person and making up excuses. Or something like that. Without entering into any confrontation with her, I turned around and started walking over to my car. She FOLLOWED me, SCREAMING. I got into my car, and she stood outside the closed window SCREAMING at me. She was so close to the car, I couldn't pull out for fear I would run her foot over.
It's also weird, but kids behave very differently when parents are present vs. not. I don't know if kids sometimes feed off the parents anxiety, or exactly what the reason is. My daughter is a good example of this, she is a basket case if I am with her, but if not, she is way more resilient. When I worked with kids I usually found it better without the parents present because I could communicate directly with the child. It was a lot easier to explain what was going to happen in real terms without playing a game of telephone. And as you say Hopes, I was a firm believer in telling the truth, but you'd be surprised how many people don't want their kids to hear that. Moms are notoriously bad for not letting kids interact with health care providers themselves. When we go to the ped or dentists, I want the kids to talk to them with me there, not for me to do all the talking. I am not the patient. Ooh, didn't mean to rant. Sorry.
I totally agree.
Thankfully, most peds we've had did talk directly to the children.
As for children behaving better without parents around, that goes with almost everything. They really do put on a show for us parents---knowing we unconditionally love them. I'll never forget taking my son to boy scouts. He'd give me such a hard time in the car. He'd beg, whine, be mean---every trick he thought might work to get out of going to boy scouts. Then he'd get out of the car, slamming the car door and storm towards the church. I was always terrified that he was walking in all sullen and upset. NOOOOOOOOOOO! I asked and he always walked in with a smile on his face, chipper and happy. LOL Kids are quite the little actors!
I recall an encounter in the parking lot of a convenience store with a women....Talk about cuckoo cocoa puffs!
Wowzer! How bizarre.
I don't know if I ever shared my road-rage incident with you guys, this happened a few years ago when we still lived in Seattle. This was a few weeks before Christmas, a young mom is walking in a parking lot pushing a stroller (with a baby in it), and holding the hand of a toddler. Apparently she was walking slowly, and someone was impatient and honked at her. I didn't see this first part. As she neared the sidewalk next to the mall entrance (still walking in the street) I walked out the mall (without my kids thank goodness). The same car is again waiting for her to cross, and in a fit of rage the driver starts screaming and cussing at her, accelerates in the direction of the mom, stroller, and toddler, but loses control of the car which bumps up on the sidewalk and ends up about a foot away from me. I was a tad angry. This poor young mother was completely distraught. Anyway there were a gazillion witnesses, and this woman was charged (I can't remember the exact charge), but she was some high-society woman, her husband was a Seattle mover and shaker, and her lawyer phoned me a number of times to get me to change my story, which was ridiculous as there were so many eye witnesses. Apparently the exacerbating factor is intent, in cases such as these if you use your car to act out your rage, your intent is assumed to harm. It was an extremely weird situation.
I don't know if I ever shared my road-rage incident with you guys, this happened a few years ago when we still lived in Seattle. This was a few weeks before Christmas, a young mom is walking in a parking lot pushing a stroller (with a baby in it), and holding the hand of a toddler. Apparently she was walking slowly, and someone was impatient and honked at her. I didn't see this first part. As she neared the sidewalk next to the mall entrance (still walking in the street) I walked out the mall (without my kids thank goodness). The same car is again waiting for her to cross, and in a fit of rage the driver starts screaming and cussing at her, accelerates in the direction of the mom, stroller, and toddler, but loses control of the car which bumps up on the sidewalk and ends up about a foot away from me. I was a tad angry. This poor young mother was completely distraught. Anyway there were a gazillion witnesses, and this woman was charged (I can't remember the exact charge), but she was some high-society woman, her husband was a Seattle mover and shaker, and her lawyer phoned me a number of times to get me to change my story, which was ridiculous as there were so many eye witnesses. Apparently the exacerbating factor is intent, in cases such as these if you use your car to act out your rage, your intent is assumed to harm. It was an extremely weird situation.
Thank goodness she was charged! What she did was insane!
The other day, someone posted a thread asking if Pittsburghers were confrontational people. That's what her friend from Seattle said about Pittsburghers.
The first few pages is full of people (from all regions) reassuring her that Pittsburghers are the friendliest people.
Then the thread blew up into a "parking chair" fight for 18 pages.
Talk about irony.
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Sometimes they won't because there is a low fever, etc. 
