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The research doesn't say they're not equal. It says the children of SAHM's don't see them as equal. There's a difference. That shouldn't come as a surprise when you're modeling traditional gender roles.
I wonder how on earth one would craft a study that isolates SAHM-ness as the cause of the vision of gender inequality??!!?
Who is modeling traditional gender roles? And please, for the benfit of the audience, explain what you mean by that? Thanks everso.
Dad as bread winner and mom as home maker are traditional gender roles. It's a division of labor. Men work and women keep the houses they pay for. In contrast, my husband and I present a unified front. Both of us support the household, care for the kids and clean house. I do admit he cooks and I don't but that's because he's a better cook and pickier about what he eats. Other than that, either parent does anything. It should come as no surprise that my kids would see us as more equal than they would if we'd taken traditional gender roles.
Not what I said at all. I said there are tendencies. I've never said it's guaranteed. Our daughters just have a tendency to follow in our footsteps. I'll be proud if mine do.
Because the father isn't female. Girls look to their mothers as their role model. Fathers play a role but it's not that of role model for daughters. Fathers are their son's role model. Kids are aware of gender differences. Especially in situations that exaggerate them.
On what do you base this? I think you are asserting an awful lot of prejudice and opinion as fact.
I wonder how on earth one would craft a study that isolates SAHM-ness as the cause of the vision of gender inequality??!!?
They were looking at children's attidudes towards their mothers based on the mother's choice to work or not work. To be honest, I think many of these studies start because the right wing still wants to push the agenda of women at home. It's not working though. The studies are finding that it makes no difference if mom works, except in our kid's attitudes about women.
I'm off to bed now...have to work in the morning so I don't have all day to play...
I'm, probably, not going to be on line until Thursday or Friday so this discussion will just have to go on without me. I have to put some long hours in this week. Tonight was the last night I could take some down time so I took it.
For someone who claims to be so well educated, your lack of understanding of this basic concept of shared responsibility demonstrates the futility of continuing this discussion. I am extremely relieved that you will have no influence or modeling over my children.
This is what I don't get. Why is celebrating the reasons for MY choice taken as putting down someone elses choice???? I'm sure SAHM's have their reasons for their choice. I have mine. I just happen to have research to support mine.
And I'm very happy in my choice. People like to debate things they feel strongly about and I feel strongly about my working status and I think there are people out there who might benefit from what I know and my experience. As a mom who chose to work, I did my homework. I know my choice is a good one but there are women who, by circumstance, don't get a choice in the matter who have to work. I post for them. I know all the reasons my choice is good. I see them in my dd's faces. What I don't get is why some SAHM's can't let WM's be happy with the benefits of their choice. What's it to them that I chose to model something different than they did? It makes me wonder if their reasons for their choice pale when stood next to mine.
It is a fact that working or not working by themselves matter little. That's at good fact because it means we get a choice. It is a fact that WM's and SAHM's model different things for their kids. I would assume you choose to model that which you value. I don't value traditional gender roles so I don't model them. If someone else does, that's their choice. I've made mine. I model using my education, being productive, setting high goals and that there is more than enough time to balance family and work. I value these things. I really don't care if someone else values modeling traditional gender roles. That is THEIR choice not mine. What I don't get is why they think they should get the same results I get. The choices are totally different. Of course our children will view us differently. We're modeling different things.
And I just love the YOU MUST BE UNHAPPY WITH YOUR CHOICE because you defend it. I posted about studies. Actual studies that found these differences. I did not make this up. I did not claim my choice is better because I feel it in my heart. I posted what research found, which actually makes perfect sense to me given what WM's model for their dd's. I'm not sure how you think I got the studies to say what I say. They're studies. They just reveal what is there. I'm glad they fit with what I think because it shows my thinking is on the right track. I kind of like to think I'm on the right track. The only satisfaction is in knowing I turned out to be right about what I thought being a working mom would model for my dd's. That's kind of cool.
This is the problem. You claim to not be putting down other's choices, but you just did. When you decided to have kids did you really look up all these studies to decide what would be best for your kids, or did you go with what you felt was right, then found studies to support your choice?
<snip>
I did not want to give up my career and had no idea how I'd fill the time if I stayed home. I thought about the choice in front of me and asked what difference it would make. I looked at the research. I thought about how I veiw my own working mom. I thought about what my children's lives would be like if they were home with a bored mom. I checked out some moms goups and found I had nothing in common with these women (they were all very needy...most seemed to stay home because they had a need to be taken care of or because they just didn't like working but they wanted a medal for martyrdom...). I decided this was not the life I wanted for my kids and went shopping for a good day care center. I've never met so many unhappy moms in my life. I'm not sure what they thought they were signing up for but they, obviously, didn't get what they thought they were going to get. <snip>
That right there (bolded) is just one of many comments you've made that show quite clearly how superior you feel as a working mother. And you wonder why people are annoyed and frustrated!
PS. If you didn't specify in your location that you live in some long-winded out of the way part of outer space, all of your post would show up on the screen without the need to continually scroll left and right. But never mind, I shan't be reading them any more.
For someone who claims to be so well educated, your lack of understanding of this basic concept of shared responsibility demonstrates the futility of continuing this discussion. I am extremely relieved that you will have no influence or modeling over my children.
THIS is what is LOOKS like to our kids. They see daddy pay the bills and mommy clean the house. I'm fully aware of the basic concept of shared responsibility. I LIVE IT EVERY DAY. I live TRUE shared responsibility. We share it all. We don't divide it up into daddy's parts and mommy's parts. They're all just parent parts.
They were looking at children's attidudes towards their mothers based on the mother's choice to work or not work
Right. How on earth can they isolate the impact their mother's choice to work or not on their attitudes? That sounds more like a conversation than a study.
Quote:
. To be honest, I think many of these studies start because the right wing still wants to push the agenda of women at home. It's not working though. The studies are finding that it makes no difference if mom works, except in our kid's attitudes about women.
There is much out there that is called a study that just plain blows. If they went in with an agenda, chances are good it was not much of a "study". That the outcome is other than what they wanted is rather irrelevant if it was a bad study. That is why I prefer to look at the study than a news report about the study.
THIS is what is LOOKS like to our kids. They see daddy pay the bills and mommy clean the house. I'm fully aware of the basic concept of shared responsibility. I LIVE IT EVERY DAY. I live TRUE shared responsibility. We share it all. We don't divide it up into daddy's parts and mommy's parts. They're all just parent parts.
NO, that is what you imagine it looks like. No matter how hard you try to convince yourself that it is so, it just isn't. Sorry.
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For someone who claims to be so well educated, your lack of understanding of this basic concept of shared responsibility demonstrates the futility of continuing this discussion. I am extremely relieved that you will have no influence or modeling over my children.
). I decided this was not the life I wanted for my kids and went shopping for a good day care center. I've never met so many unhappy moms in my life. I'm not sure what they thought they were signing up for but they, obviously, didn't get what they thought they were going to get. <snip>