Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
And when your child is throwing a tantrum and calls you a bad name in front of the entire grocery store is that not embarrassing? Humiliating?Whats the difference?
You're the adult. Deal with it in a way that wouldn't be the first response of a two year-old.
By the way, by treating your kid that way, you are humiliating YOURSELF.
And when your child is throwing a tantrum and calls you a bad name in front of the entire grocery store is that not embarrassing? Humiliating?Whats the difference?
And what do you think will happen when you spank or flick that kid having a tantrum in front of the entire grocery store? Do think she'll stop screaming, look at you lovingly and say, "Sorry, mommy?"
What she'll actually do is take a deep breath and let out an earth-shattering wail even the guys stocking the dairy case will hear. Think about it. Have you ever seen a crying child stop crying after a spanking? If your goal is to quiet an upset child, you either need to remove her from the store, or hold her calmly til she settles down. Spanking will do you no good at all.
And what do you think will happen when you spank or flick that kid having a tantrum in front of the entire grocery store? Do think she'll stop screaming, look at you lovingly and say, "Sorry, mommy?"
What she'll actually do is take a deep breath and let out an earth-shattering wail even the guys stocking the dairy case will hear. Think about it. Have you ever seen a crying child stop crying after a spanking? If your goal is to quiet an upset child, you either need to remove her from the store, or hold her calmly til she settles down. Spanking will do you no good at all.
Gerneally our kids woudl turn quiet and mope for a few minutes, then get over it. If we rewarded them with positive attention, they woudl immediately do it again as soon as we turn our focus back to shopping. Of course this is all age dependant. We do nto elieve our job is to be our kids firends. We see disaster every time a parent tries to be their kids friend instead of their parent. Sometimes you have to be the bad guy.
Gerneally our kids woudl turn quiet and mope for a few minutes, then get over it. If we rewarded them with positive attention, they woudl immediately do it again as soon as we turn our focus back to shopping. Of course this is all age dependant. We do nto elieve our job is to be our kids firends. We see disaster every time a parent tries to be their kids friend instead of their parent. Sometimes you have to be the bad guy.
I don't disagree with you about parents sometimes having to be the bad guy.
But I've never seen a crying kid stop crying after being spanked. I've only seen it increse the noise level.
The study was not set up to study spanking at all, but it turns out they have interesting video of spanking incidents.
I do think it is interesting since parents always claim that spanking is a *last resort* that in this study at least many of the kids were spanked for inconsequential *misbehaviors.*
Hitting, slapping, punching, throwing against a wall, etc is not spanking, therefore this isn't a study of spanking at all.
Not suprising to know many here don't know the difference (including the 'study' authors), but...thanks for playing.
The title was spanking, but the discussion was initially based around the example of the woman smaking he child's hand for turning pages in a book. the article was not really about spanking but about physical puniushment of any kind. then some people tried to tie in examples of extremely abusive behavious (like throwing alcohol in somones eyes or punshiment (phycical or verbla ) for no reason at all. You are correct, such examples have no place in a discussion of measured reasoned discipline.
I think they understand what it is perfectly well. However they like to pretend otherwise or twist the meaning to further their cause.
Some people will play "Holier than thou" no matter the topic.
I have been told all kinds of things are abusive:
Tickle monster games.
Wrestling with the kids.
Teaching the kids football or karate.
Holding a child upside down (while they giggle like crazy).
Allowing the kids to have their own pets.
Refusing to allow them to come back inside on a nice day.
Chores.
Throwing them across the swimming pool.
Throwing a fastball when practicing baseball.
Any form of physical contact can be called "hitting" a child and will be so called by those who have an agenda to promote. I pat my kids on the back "how dare you batter your children by striking their back, they could get paralyzed."
Oh hey, don't forget how deMEANING it is to give your kids nicknames. Don't forget that it's also demeaning to call your kid, "buddy, honey, sweetie, babe", instead of their "given" name!! This subject seriously sickens me. Yeah, the way the "holier than thous" crawl out of the woodwork when this topic comes up, calling those who DARE to spank their child "stupid, unintelligent bullies", really is disturbing. Gawd, is it any wonder I spend less and less time here?
Oh hey, don't forget how deMEANING it is to give your kids nicknames. Don't forget that it's also demeaning to call your kid, "buddy, honey, sweetie, babe", instead of their "given" name!! This subject seriously sickens me. Yeah, the way the "holier than thous" crawl out of the woodwork when this topic comes up, calling those who DARE to spank their child "stupid, unintelligent bullies", really is disturbing. Gawd, is it any wonder I spend less and less time here?
Now, now, it's not like spankers don't let non spankers know their "brats" could use a swat on the butt. Not like that's not disturbing. Heck, I hear spankers blame all of humanities ills on the fact theres not enough spanking going on. 2 sides to every coin, no getting around that one. I hear the "holier than thous" are the ones that coin the phrase, spare the rod spoil the child.
I haven't read this entire thread, but i'm just hear to tell all parents who spank not to get into an arguement with non-spanking parents. Non-spanking parents believe they know how to better discipline your own child than you do. They also think every bad person in the country was spanked as a child, and every kid who wasn't spanked wears a halo around their head. Its pointless, they can't accept that spanking is an effective form of discipline, no matter what you tell them.
Last edited by nighttrain55; 04-25-2012 at 01:17 PM..
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
