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I just got married to my wife a year ago and she has 3 wonderful girls 9 - 3 - 1, each w/ diff fathers who are involved w/ them on varrying levels. I find this very difficult, my wife of course loves all her girls dearly but I guess Im waiting for that aha moment! of wow I love these girls. My wife and I are about to start having our own bio kids in a few weeks or start working on making our own should I say, and I worry Im broken and wont feel anything for my own children given my inability to feel love for my step kids.
We adopted our kids and love them to pieces. I have a friend who's closer to her stepdaughter than her biological son, she says she loves her son but he's a lot like her father in law...Of course it's possible to love stepchildren.
I will answer honestly. I don't have any step kids. My husband and I have 2 girls. I think, for me, it would depend on the age of the kids were when the came into my life. To truly love them as my own I would need to bond with them while they were young. I could love a teenager but I am not sure I could love a 15 year old as my own. I think it would take longer to form that trust and bond with an older child. Some kids are just easier to love too. I also think it would make a difference they lived with me so I could really mother them or if the real mom was in the picture.
As a side note I may be biased right now because my oldest is 13, cranky, moody and some days a little hard to love and I did give birth to her.LOL
I just got married to my wife a year ago and she has 3 wonderful girls 9 - 3 - 1, each w/ diff fathers who are involved w/ them on varrying levels. I find this very difficult, my wife of course loves all her girls dearly but I guess Im waiting for that aha moment! of wow I love these girls. My wife and I are about to start having our own bio kids in a few weeks or start working on making our own should I say, and I worry Im broken and wont feel anything for my own children given my inability to feel love for my step kids.
I don't think a year is enough time to form a strong bond with a step child. It's enough that you describe them as "wonderful" at this point. I certainly wouldn't rush to add another baby to the mix though. Why not give your ready-made family a chance to settle in first?
Yes. I know that my step-mother loves me as her own, and I think my step-father does too. Both were in my life since I was very young. I had 4 parents involved in my life growing up with 50/50 custody.
It all depends on the person - if they are mature and capable of loving or not - and then it depends on the kid and the chemistry with the step-parent - if there is a bond. It's highly unique - the best predictor I would think would be the mental health and maturity of the step parent - if they are a decent person or not.
Pretty much. No bond was ever established between my stepmother and my siblings. Father's fault. He married someone only 9 years older than me. She was not ready to parent tweens and teens. She had just got done being one and still acted like one in a lot of ways. Very immature, complete drama llama, made no bones about the fact that her own golden brat would always come first, especially at our expense.
My mother never remarried, but about 4 years ago, she finally hooked up with a decent human being of a man. All of us siblings and our spouses like him a lot. My daughter adores him, the only grandfather of sorts she has known (up to a few months from now). The feeling is mutual. We would all be very upset if something were to happen to him.
Do you think its possible to love your step children as much as your own children? Is it wrong to love your own children more? Is it being human or just immature? Ive always wondered that.
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