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I echo what Mightyqueen posted. He could leave you after you are too old to get pregnant, and you would be left without him and without a child. Also, remember that women outlive men, usually. Do you want to be a childless widow?
Depending upon how you look, you're probably young enough to get another decent guy who would be willing to have children, although it may not be the perfect guy with all the attributes you want. You need to act fast, though. And you never know...if your current guy realizes you're serious about walking over this, he might come around.
Force him? You think you can force him? I'm sure you mean issuing an ultimatum. Do it, and see what happens. then come back and let us know how you feel about it.
Bad idea.
Look. The guy in question, by all indications, has been a stand-up honest guy about matters. He's 40 and doesn't want a baby. Frankly, I can't blame him.
So the OP should force him to take on a twenty-year obligation he does not want? I don't think so. If I were him, I would be very resentful and ticked off. And that time-honored trick among a small minority of women to get pregnant on purpose and blame the failed birth control isn't going to fool anyone.
She needs to decide what she wants more in life. A child or him. And make that decision quickly.
Look. The guy in question, by all indications, has been a stand-up honest guy about matters. He's 40 and doesn't want a baby. Frankly, I can't blame him.
So the OP should force him to take on a twenty-year obligation he does not want? I don't think so. If I were him, I would be very resentful and ticked off. And that time-honored trick among a small minority of women to get pregnant on purpose and blame the failed birth control isn't going to fool anyone.
She needs to decide what she wants more in life. A child or him. And make that decision quickly.
I think you misinterpreted my post. I agree with you. What I typed was meant to say to the OP, "go ahead and "force" him, and see how badly that would most likely turn out. Then come back and tell us that he left and we can then tell her "we told you so."
And no, the OP shouldn't "force" him, for the reasons you stated above.
Besides, she can't "force" him, only give him an ultimatum.
There's also a risk of leaving him and not finding someone with whom you're compatible with or a man who also doesnt want children. Are you willing to take that risk?
You don't necessarily need a man to have a child. If she doesn't find someone compatible within a reasonable timeframe she could always go the donor route.
OP, I think if you stay and not have children I think you will end up resenting him in the long run. Honestly, if my now husband hadn't agreed to have more children I don't think he and I would be together. I had always wanted children and that is not something I chose to negotiate.
i'd get rid of the man and have the kid. man will probably be gone way before kid.
Yes. Some things don't really have a compromise. There's no middle ground if one wants kids and the other does not want kids. At least those couples where one wants 4 kids and the other wants 2 kids, there can be compromise with 3 kids.
There's no point in continuing the relationship if this very important issue is in the way. If he is adamant about no children, then either he wins/she loses, or he loses/she wins. And as far as "force" - it's just as much as him forcing her to never have children if she must go along with his wishes. Then only thing is for her to decide if she really never wants to have children and then go from there.
Adopting older kids would be great as long as both are actually up to it. That's not something to go into lightly either because there can be other sets of problems, not everyone is right for that.
The OP wants a baby.
Does she want a screaming terrible two year old?
Does she want a school age brat?
Does she want a teenager?
No. she wants a BABY. She feels the need to be pregnant. There's a difference. She can't just have a baby and stop. The rest come with it.
If she want this baby worse than she wants a good husband, then she needs stop and look at what her life would be like without this guy when she reaches those Goldern Years. The BABY will will be grown.
If she is the type that will resent the guy because he doesn't want a baby too, she has a lot of things to think about such as what she values more. She knows this man, she doesn't know what the unborn will be.
Depending upon how you look, you're probably young enough to get another decent guy who would be willing to have children, although it may not be the perfect guy with all the attributes you want. You need to act fast, though. And you never know...if your current guy realizes you're serious about walking over this, he might come around.
I have to take exception to this remark. There is a lot more to being attracted to someone than personal appearance.
Presumably this wonderful man doesn't want to marry you, either.
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