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It doesn't matter if the spouse loves the child or not. Most people will come to love a child that is forced upon them. A woman can love a child that was created through rape...that does not make the rape itself any less terrible. "An accident" is still a betrayal of the deepest kind and anyone who carries it through is selfish to the very core.
Having a child is huge. Your entire life changes. No one should be forced into that. How can a spouse claim to love their partner if they are willing to breach their trust in such a manner? What happens if the man does discover this and quite rightly feels he can no longer stay with a partner who disrespects him so utterly? He would STILL be responsible for the child he never intended to create.
I can support this woman leaving because their life goals are so radically different. There's nothing wrong in itself with wanting a baby. But forcing a man into creating a life is a violation and simply wrong on every moral level. Her desires are NOT more important than his. Forcing a child on anyone, man or
woman, is a form of a rape.
I agree with you 500%. This suggestion is nothing short of scumbaggery. And a personw ho would do this intentionally is as immoral as the day is long.
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This kind of thing is one of the reasons why I have no desire to have a relationship. It's proof that you really can't trust other people.
It doesn't matter if the spouse loves the child or not. Most people will come to love a child that is forced upon them. A woman can love a child that was created through rape...that does not make the rape itself any less terrible. "An accident" is still a betrayal of the deepest kind and anyone who carries it through is selfish to the very core.
Having a child is huge. Your entire life changes. No one should be forced into that. How can a spouse claim to love their partner if they are willing to breach their trust in such a manner? What happens if the man does discover this and quite rightly feels he can no longer stay with a partner who disrespects him so utterly? He would STILL be responsible for the child he never intended to create.
I can support this woman leaving because their life goals are so radically different. There's nothing wrong in itself with wanting a baby. But forcing a man into creating a life is a violation and simply wrong on every moral level. Her desires are NOT more important than his. Forcing a child on anyone, man or woman, is a form of a rape.
This kind of thing is one of the reasons why I have no desire to have a relationship. It's proof that you really can't trust other people.
I agree with you, as well. I would extend it to anyone in a relationship, not just a spouse. Deception about conceiving a child is such an enormous breach of trust. I also agree with somebody new: it's not all people that can't be trusted.
I don't recall the OP saying she'd have to leave. Doesn't matter.
By the way, why not leave and divorce BEFORE the in-vitro? Gotta take his wallet with you?
Exactly, a woman has caused an oops but they are oh so quick to run to the court house and force child support on the father. I've seen that story played oh too many times. It's downright pathetic.
I never said it was right or that I agreed with it, but it happens. Good or bad. Would I ever do it? Nope. But I have morals. In my friend's case, it just happened to work out. And as far as I know, her husband has no idea, but honestly, the type of person he is, he would probably not even care. He is an amazing and loving father and incredible husband.
It doesn't matter if the spouse loves the child or not. Most people will come to love a child that is forced upon them. A woman can love a child that was created through rape...that does not make the rape itself any less terrible. "An accident" is still a betrayal of the deepest kind and anyone who carries it through is selfish to the very core.
Having a child is huge. Your entire life changes. No one should be forced into that. How can a spouse claim to love their partner if they are willing to breach their trust in such a manner? What happens if the man does discover this and quite rightly feels he can no longer stay with a partner who disrespects him so utterly? He would STILL be responsible for the child he never intended to create.
I can support this woman leaving because their life goals are so radically different. There's nothing wrong in itself with wanting a baby. But forcing a man into creating a life is a violation and simply wrong on every moral level. Her desires are NOT more important than his. Forcing a child on anyone, man or woman, is a form of a rape.
This kind of thing is one of the reasons why I have no desire to have a relationship. It's proof that you really can't trust other people.
No one can really "force" a man into having a child. He knows where babies come from. If he really doesn't want a child, there is such a thing as "vasectomy".
Of course he should tell any possible future spouse that he's had a vasectomy when the subject of children comes up to give her a chance to end the relationship and move on.
Why would a man who insists he never wants a child NOT get a vasectomy?
In the case of the OP, should she be "forced" into giving up her dream? Of course not -- she should ditch this guy and find one more compatible with her own goals.
Exactly, a woman has caused an oops but they are oh so quick to run to the court house and force child support on the father. I've seen that story played oh too many times. It's downright pathetic.
Women don't cause an "oops" by themselves. It really does take two to tango when it comes to having a child.
Ok you've also got to consider that your dream baby may not be a dream baby.
Babies are born sick, they are born disabled, they are born with all sorts of issues that make life very difficult for those around them.
Being anything less than a devoted parent is just not an option, ESPECIALLY for babies like these.
A friend of mine had a baby under circumstances not quite the same, but similar. He was born with a brain tumour and she spent the first 4 years of his life in hospital with him. Now he is better (after 29 operations) but the treatments themselves have caused problems, he will always be "slow" and she will need to care for him for the rest of their lives. Although she loves him to death, she now says she wishes she hadn't had him.
Certainly not what you imagine when you have rainbows and butterflies in your head...but it's life.
It's not always cute little babies and rosy cheeked toddlers...plus parenting is HARD, and single parenting is VERY, VERY HARD. And thankless. They turn around at 14 and give you a mouthful of cheek and tell you how stupid you are. I'm still waiting for the aliens to bring my daughter back, 5 years later.
My kids are both perfect but I (and a lot of mums I know) would seriously think twice before doing it again. The "cute" doesn't last very long, then you're stuck with a surly teenager who hates you for the next oh...10 years at least.
Exactly, a woman has caused an oops but they are oh so quick to run to the court house and force child support on the father. I've seen that story played oh too many times. It's downright pathetic.
And it's also downright pathetic for a fully grown man to take NO RESPONSIBILITY for his own body fluids, and where they end up.
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