Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I would say it happens MOST in private schools... ? Why.. because almost the whole population can afford these expensive devices.. not that public school kids dont have them, just that maybe it's not such a high %, or maybe I'm just wrong either way.
I agree that it's not the school, as far as I see, this problem exists in homes that hand their kids technology with no limits, no rules, etc.
Anyway, I was just asked my opinion on what should be done. Why? Because I'm in cyber security and can lock down devices and networks as tight as needed.
My resolve was "let me know if I can be any assistance when you decide what you want to do. I personally would let my kid know that I'm not ready for him or her to have unrestricted access to apps and the internet, as well as the apps that are getting him or her in trouble and maybe down the road we'd revisit installing them again when they could handle it."
I mentioned that pushing a kid towards texting via a regular smart phone or android phone would be preferable (again with NO rights to install apps) because there is software out there that can instantly show what texts are coming and going to parents, even when they are half way around the world.
Quote:
I would help my child learn to say no and continue to monitor communication. Kids need to learn to deal with this sort of thing. Boys aren't going to stop asking her for videos, pictures and stuff like that. She needs to learn to say no.
Again just my own opinion, 11 year old is too young to permit boys to ask my daughter (if i ever have one) for pics or videos, by allowing the communication to happen you're putting her in a tight spot. If it was 13 - I'd be more open to the idea of still allowing communication. 11 is still a kid. Nobody should be permitted to ask a KID for pictures of herself. IMO (of course)
It would be helpful to know what kind of video he means. Honestly, it could be something else entirely.
If it's inappropriate, his parents need to know.
I understand that kind of thinking, but cmon.
A 12 year old boy is asking for a video from a very pretty girl (new detail added) and he says "you know there's a mirror right?" right after it that message..
What's that saying about if it walks like a duck..
Again just my own opinion, 11 year old is too young to permit boys to ask my daughter (if i ever have one) for pics or videos, by allowing the communication to happen you're putting her in a tight spot. If it was 13 - I'd be more open to the idea of still allowing communication. 11 is still a kid. Nobody should be permitted to ask a KID for pictures of herself. IMO (of course)
That this is even being debated when the girl is 11 years old is shocking. The girl shouldn't even know those words. There should be no unmonitored electronic communication with anyone, least of all 12 y/o boys asking for pictures! I hope her parents get a clue before this poor girl turns into a train wreck.
Last edited by WesternPilgrim; 09-06-2012 at 11:02 PM..
Take the ipod. She may not be at fault for what others are saying to her...but she can't be protected if no one is monitoring. And, I would take the phone to the parents of each child and have a good old fashioned sit down. This day and age, w/ all the high tech, yet the immature kids utilizing them inappropriately someone has to...(parents imo) get a handle on things. Folks who are letting their children get away w/ all the ugliness and name calling are in for a rude awakening, when these children a few years later are facing criminal charges as 18 yr olds. "What you accept, You teach"
A 12 year old boy is asking for a video from a very pretty girl (new detail added) and he says "you know there's a mirror right?" right after it that message..
What's that saying about if it walks like a duck..
I would definitely alert the parents of the boy. You would be saving them a world of hurt later if another girl obliged and he was caught with the video.
Of course it is. The vulgar, peer-dominated culture of public education - and this girl's school in particular - is the source of the problem. Removing her from the source will most likely remove the problem. Unless there are similar problems in the home, which seems doubtful. Educational options are in no way off topic.
I think it depends who she hangs out with. The clique becomes especially important around middle school, and often exceeds the parents in importance, especially if their influence is weak (for example, if they work all the time, or are absent for some other reason, or are negligent). However, even some good parents' children fall in with the "wrong" crowd.
I would say it happens MOST in private schools... ? Why.. because almost the whole population can afford these expensive devices.. not that public school kids dont have them, just that maybe it's not such a high %, or maybe I'm just wrong either way.
I agree that it's not the school, as far as I see, this problem exists in homes that hand their kids technology with no limits, no rules, etc.
Anyway, I was just asked my opinion on what should be done. Why? Because I'm in cyber security and can lock down devices and networks as tight as needed.
My resolve was "let me know if I can be any assistance when you decide what you want to do. I personally would let my kid know that I'm not ready for him or her to have unrestricted access to apps and the internet, as well as the apps that are getting him or her in trouble and maybe down the road we'd revisit installing them again when they could handle it."
I mentioned that pushing a kid towards texting via a regular smart phone or android phone would be preferable (again with NO rights to install apps) because there is software out there that can instantly show what texts are coming and going to parents, even when they are half way around the world.
Again just my own opinion, 11 year old is too young to permit boys to ask my daughter (if i ever have one) for pics or videos, by allowing the communication to happen you're putting her in a tight spot. If it was 13 - I'd be more open to the idea of still allowing communication. 11 is still a kid. Nobody should be permitted to ask a KID for pictures of herself. IMO (of course)
And seriously, If you don't know this boy personally, how do you know how old this person is, really.
She wasn't asking me if they should take it away. I know the technology, it started off asking about ipod tracking software and it progressed to what my opinion was. I've been slammed for saying "take it away, block it, etc" so that's why I'm here, asking what you guys would do. The parents have never used a message board and are stuck in a bubble of "I don't know technology" so I'm asking for them.
My suggestions before this thread would be as follows:
Remember, 11 years old here.
- Start with telling her daughter "I want your pin number to your ipod, or you don't get it"
- Actually check it, decide for you if it's ok for this stuff to be happening.
- Uninstall Kik (if it were me)
- Change the download password for installing apps on her ipad/iphone. She must come to you for each and every time she wants to install something and YOU as a parent must research it if you don't know what it is.
- Let her keep her email and cell phone. She may use that to communicate, texting on an android phone can be immediately tracked and read by parents if they want. Texting via Kik and imessage cannot. Let her email her friends, check it regularly.
I'm aware that kids know swear words, but at 11, is it really ok for them to be reading swears directed at them, in comments on all the instagram photos that are "popular" and many of the youtube videos out there.
Is there a point where all the vulgarity is too much for this age group?
Well, I can't get past the 11 having an ipod....especially if the parents aren't even close to being informed about some of the newest technology. And, your list of things that you would do is totally appropriate imo.
But, if it were me, my kid would have a no text, no media flip phone for emergency's and that is all at 11 years of age...until she could buy her own fancy media phone and pay her own bill.
I would definitely alert the parents of the boy. You would be saving them a world of hurt later if another girl obliged and he was caught with the video.
As a parent of boys I would have to agree. If my kids were doing bad things I would want to know. Parents have to teach boys respectful behavior. They don't always know.
You have to keep in mind that public school is a highly abnormal situation historically and doesn't prepare most people for real life very well. Children spend 6-8 hours per day with a very narrow selection of "peers". Much of their after-school time is spent with peers as well. This group, and not parents, becomes the predominant influence on their character and values. Life after school isn't like that at all.
I agree. That is why I home schooled. My objection was to home school in order to pick and control the peer group.
Quote:
I agree that parental control has to be gradually relinquished for the child to develop normally. But it's like anything else - learning to swim, let's say - you start out with lots of control and care and gradually release them to the entire pool when they fully understand the dangers and know their own strengths and limits.
How are they going to fully understand the dangers if they are not allowed to experience them? People learn by doing.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
