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Sounds like a trainwreck and it all begins with you and your choices. Lot's of people, I MEAN LOT'S OF PEOPLE, live with roommate situations they don't like. Whether it's family, friends, randoms from Craigslist, whatever. You do what you have to do. I don't even want to know how your life got so out of control but suck it up and do what you have to do until you have a place of your own. Have you no one else? Friends? Extended family? Or are you estranged from your entire lifes worth of social networking? I hope you get the help you need but don't count on a shelter to be a solution for long. I also wish you well on the job front but wonder who will take care of your child if you get one.
Didn't disappear. Don't have regular internet access right now. Short story is I left my mother's apartment and took my son with me. I found out she had stopped taking her meds which explains some of her recent behavior. I will not leave my son in that environment. As far as looking for work, I have had many interviews but it doesn't go past that. Many do not like my background and choice of jobs. I have a counselor that is helping me look for work but they have been told that I was not offered a position because of my "seasonal work background" before I went back to school. Work is work....I don't get the big hangup on it being seasonal or not. Met up with a former coworker and found out they have been having the same problem as me when finding work because most of the places we worked at closed when they tore down the mall. I applied for all the fast food places, wal-mart, target, etc. and nothing. Many of the places in walking distance require you to be bilingual in Spanish. There are seasonal part-time jobs but so far nothing has panned out. I had an interview yesterday and the manager said I was old enough to be her mom. Not really seeing anything come out of that one.
I hope where ever you are is better for you then -- actually in my opinion you seem better (judging by just this paragraph and your first one). You seem more optimistic, maybe getting away from your mom was the right thing for you - we can only judge by the limited information we are given.
I agree work is work, and work is the only way you're going to climb out of the situation you're in -- so bravo on that -- I hope you get something, even if just a start in something. I also think when your son sees you working, he will have respect for what you're trying to do.
The Christmas season is now upon us -- I hope you at least get your foot in the door somewhere, and can begin a new life -- and give your son something you would like to give him. You don't sound like a quitter -- so I think you'll come out okay.
...she is his grandmother, not his mother!...Either I take him with and we go be homeless always thinking she is going to call the cops or I leave him here with her. That would kill me. I am already in hell and hate the thought of being without him.
Is there a chance that you're taking your son to a homeless shelter instead of leaving him with your mother because it's a control issue with you?
OMG!! My mother is nuts! I just got back to her apartment from picking up my son from school and she wrote me a note saying a bunch of bs including "I never was a part YOUR family in your eyes" and "Don't ever tell people I kicked you out because I would never do that".....um, you just told me that I was not welcome to stay any longer but that (my) son would not be allowed to leave and live in a homeless shelter or else she would call the cops on me. Why can she not see that I have a family of my own now and its different then her and I being a family? When I say I have to take care of my family she thinks I am referring to her and not my son. This is ridiculous. I stay in the bedroom as long as I am in the apartment, only coming out to use the bathroom, cook, get to the front door and if she says "come watch some tv...I don't want to monopolize it". She gets furious when my son makes "too much noise", "doesn't listen", "doesn't do as he's told", etc. She butts in when him and I are "discussing things" like him brushing his teeth, doing his homework, not hitting, etc. Then I tell her to butt out and she goes off on me telling me that she lives there and IS involved and blah blah blah. No, she is not involved...she is his grandmother, not his mother! Then her and I will get into it sometimes when he is at school because she will start going off on him telling him he has "anger issues", "what is wrong with you", "you need to get tested", "are you three or something", "do you want me to get me belt"....well, she has no right to say those things to him!
It has killed me all day thinking that I will not be walking him to school, picking him, up, and seeing him everyday. Either I take him with and we go be homeless always thinking she is going to call the cops or I leave him here with her. That would kill me. I am already in hell and hate the thought of being without him. I already feel horrible about being unemployed and losing our apartment because I really did think I would be able to find a job in 5 months of daily looking and interviewing. I would never hurt him but really do wonder if he would be better off without me around to drag him down. I wish I could make everything better.
He's lost interest in his toys and favorite things. He says he wishes I would die. He says he wishes he would die. This month has been very hard on him. He finally opened up to the school counselor and I knew this was getting to him. I hate myself for doing this to him. Nothing I do is right anymore.
You have a weird attitude. Why do I have a feeling your mother is not the complete evil incarnate you are portraying her to be just like you are not the complete angel you would have us believe you are. Sorry to say it but you sound like you are very egotistical and have very poor people skills overall.
No wonder you can't make it work with your mom and you think of dragging your child to a shelter instead.
You have a weird attitude. Why do I have a feeling your mother is not the complete evil incarnate you are portraying her to be just like you are not the complete angel you would have us believe you are. Sorry to say it but you sound like you are very egotistical and have very poor people skills overall.
No wonder you can't make it work with your mom and you think of dragging your child to a shelter instead.
Amen. And remember that that her mother offered to (A) let her move in with her, or (B) pay for a place for her to move into. The mother cant be all that bad.
She didnt take her mother up on the offer of the rent payment because she supposedly didnt want to be a burden on her mother. But I can only imagine how much of a burden having an adult daughter and her son move into the mother's small apartment has been.
Amen. And remember that that her mother offered to (A) let her move in with her, or (B) pay for a place for her to move into. The mother cant be all that bad.
She didnt take her mother up on the offer of the rent payment because she supposedly didnt want to be a burden on her mother. But I can only imagine how much of a burden having an adult daughter and her son move into the mother's small apartment has been.
She was not using the bedroom (she refuses to sleep in a bedroom and has for the past 20 years). In exchange for living in the bedroom I did all the cooking, cleaning, accompanied her to her appointments, did the shopping for her, cleaned her patio butts, and just about everything else. Financially she could not pay for two rents. She went off her meds a few months ago and I didn't know it. Yes I chose to take my son to a homeless shelter rather than have him live with a bipolar individual suffering from ptsd and multiple personality disorder like I did when I was growing up. She improved quite a bit after going on meds and 5 years of intensive therapy.
Ist off, keep your son with you. Having to go through some things very similar.
Your Mom sounds very controling and could ultimately end up seriously hurting your son, physically and or psychologically. Most people do not understand what you are going through unless you have been there themselves. You are brave and very caring for your child. Find an advacacy group that works with families. They will help with emoyment skills, food and shelter and possibly education, which I get ths impression you need to further. Do it now before it's to late.
Ist off, keep your son with you. Having to go through some things very similar.
Your Mom sounds very controling and could ultimately end up seriously hurting your son, physically and or psychologically. Most people do not understand what you are going through unless you have been there themselves. You are brave and very caring for your child. Find an advacacy group that works with families. They will help with emoyment skills, food and shelter and possibly education, which I get ths impression you need to further. Do it now before it's to late.
To whoever repped me (thanks), sure old threads can be resurrected, but the OP has not returned in 2 years, so we can assume the situation has been resolved, one way or another.
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