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The exceptions I hear in daily life are those trying to suck up to someone, trying to belittle someone, trying to exert power, trying to sell something and a very small handful who believe it is respectful to do so.
How do you know their motivation? Maybe they were just using terms they were taught to use.
That's true sir we are all humans but there's a certain way you address different people. You don't address a 70 year old the same way you would address someone your age. But you were obviously raised differently than myself so I'm gonna leave that alone....
I'm intrigued by this idea that your peers are not worthy of the same respect you would give to another person based on their age.
I have to say that having been raised by a much older father (he was 45 when I was born), at 37 I don't automatically defer to someone based on their age. I grew up being comfortable among older people, and the truth of the matter is that there is no reason to defer to them more than I would someone younger just because they're older. Why would I? Because of their experience? Half the time, the newer knowledge of the younger generation renders the older generation's experience irrelevant. I'm an adult - I treat other adults as equals and afford them the same respect and consideration I would afford any other adult regardless of their age. My younger colleagues in the office have just as much to teach me as my older colleagues, and in my personal life, I have friends that range in age from their early 20s to their early 70s. I don't behave differently with any of them, unless it's to respect their comfort zones as I have come to understand them through our interactions. I don't see why politeness and courtesy must be modified to suit different groups based on age or gender or whatever. Cripes, my 60-something and 70-something friends are among my most foul-mouthed and raunchy buddies.
My kids were not raised to use "sir" or ma'am" by us. However, once we moved to the south, when they were reaching the middle school years, they quickly picked up the terms. Teachers and coaches (especially coaches) seem to expect it. When in Rome...
Even now, that they are in college, they still frequently revert to them. It doesn't sound unnatural or forced in this area. Nor is it a major big deal.
Since we live in very transient times, I would suggest those who don't like the terms to just chalk it up to transplants. It certainly isn't meant to personally insult anyone.
Totally tone-specific. Grew up with a friend whose parents required her to say ma'am and sir when speaking to them. But it seemed ridiculous because most of the time her "Yes ma'am"'s were dripping with sarcasm. Yet somehow she got away with it because she said ma'am....lol. My mom, on the other hand, never required those specific words, just a simply no or yes was fine, but man...if I spoke to her in that tone, I wouldn't have been able to sit down for a week.
Yes, I do make my son be respectful and use Mrs./Ms/Mr. when addressing others as well as the no ma'am, yes ma'am and I'm sorry's. I hate disrespectful people, children and adults alike.
And I am not from the South nor have I ever been there, yet.
Last edited by NEOhioBound; 07-25-2013 at 05:00 PM..
As long as you're a nice person and being nice to someone why does it matter how its said.
We all have these social hoops imposed on us and its like there's only one way to be nice or something and if you don't cater to someone's social impositions then you're wrong.
Well, then why are you so uptight about the young kid who called you "ma'am"? I doubt he said it in a rude tone so get over it already
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