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Nope. I was raised in New England, and that's where my kids were born. Now we live in Florida, which is a true melting pot of northerners and southerners. Some kids say "ma'am/sir" here; others don't. Mine don't. That doesn't mean they're rude; it just means that they were not brought up with that particular custom.
Yes we did, for the most part. The thing of it is, they've always heard us speak in that manner. My kids spent more time with us than anyone else, so they speak in the same respectful manner that we do. Sir and Ma'am are simply parts of our daily speech. :-)
Moved to Central TX a year ago - my DD 14 has picked up the habit when addressing adults. As she said "if I don't say ma'am or sir I get looked at funny" she is right. Its just a mannerism that is common here. I use it also more and more frequently the longer I live here. My assistant is 10+ years older than I am but when I call her name her response is always "ma'am?" instead of "yes", she was born and raised here.
I was speaking with a gentlemen in NJ yesterday and answered something with "yes sir" he said "ohhhhh you don't need to address me as sir, it makes me feel old" I laughed and told him I was "practicing my Texan"
I'm from Calif and NV, never used it, did not teach it to my kids and it was never expected, it was often thought to be sass if used. Here in TX, it's not sass, its just good manners.
Certainly a regional thing, that is for sure. I happen to like it, it does not bother me in the least.
I was speaking with a gentlemen in NJ yesterday and answered something with "yes sir" he said "ohhhhh you don't need to address me as sir, it makes me feel old" I laughed and told him I was "practicing my Texan"
My retired Naval Commander FIL once told me how he enjoyed cashiers and other customer service people calling him Sweetie - as in "have a nice day, Sweetie" - when he moved to Tennessee. He thought it was friendly and charming.
I've been on a Naval base with him and obviously Sweetie is the last way anyone would address him, unless they wanted to end up in the Brig. (Is it the Brig? In trouble, anyway.)
Manners are in the eye of the beholder, it would seem.
As long as you're a nice person and being nice to someone why does it matter how its said.
We all have these social hoops imposed on us and its like there's only one way to be nice or something and if you don't cater to someone's social impositions then you're wrong.
I'm also 22, was raised to say ma'am/sir and do say these terms as does my wife. However, my kids aren't old enough to speak yet, but we WILL be teaching/making them say ma'am/sir and to have respect for their elders.
I'm not sure why some people on here have a problem with the ma'am/sir terms. I hear grown adults say these to teenagers and the teens don't seem to mind. I've even heard teens say them to other teens, such as to the ones who are cashiers.
In plain point, ma'am/sir are a sign of respect and manners nor does it have anything to do with age.
Last edited by CountryFisher; 07-25-2013 at 10:48 AM..
I'm a 53 yr old native Texan and was raised with the understanding that sir and ma'am were expected in yes/no and in please/ thank you replies to any adult as a part of general manners. Asking a question to a familiar adult didn't require the use of sir and ma'am but doing so of a stranger did. This was expected out of respect for those older than you and carried on into adult hood where you still were expected to use sir and ma'am to anyone thought to be older and anyone who was of authority (which included the grocery cashier, bank teller etc)
Having said that, the dirty side of it was there were those who expected the use of sir and ma'am to those yelling, threatening, demanding, bullying and so on out of fear. Since that was still a time of children expected to be seen and not heard, many children found themselves using the terms out of fear as well as for good manners.
I think many who were taught to also use it out of that fear quickly associated it as demeaning and not respectful.
To this day it is still thought of as a combination of demeaning and respectful, as illustrated by the various posters here.
Personally, as for using sir and ma'am, I rarely used it as expected as a child and rarely use the terms as a adult as I just don't see the need. My children, therefore, follow the same pattern. Very few people I know use them as a daily part of their manners either.
The exceptions I hear in daily life are those trying to suck up to someone, trying to belittle someone, trying to exert power, trying to sell something and a very small handful who believe it is respectful to do so.
I think it has generally gone the way so many other things have that used to be the social norm. Addressing people by Mr and Mrs has dropped off considerably and people are much less formal, using first names more often than not and so on.
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