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At least they didn't say, "Hey YOU? Hand me that thyme." The thing that would have made me cringe, would have been the child's failure to say please and thank you.
Agree. My problem would would start if the child had said, "Give me the thyme!"
Yes indeedy, that child would have gotten The Look. "Give me the ******* tyhme" would have made me hunt down dad to see who, exactly, produced that kid. I might have told Dad his kid wants the "******* thyme" just to see what happened next.
Me? If I heard my child demand something from a "service" clerk, rather than asking politely and thanking him/her, I would have said, "Excuse me? Could you do me a favor and just put back that thyme, please?" ...."Now....Michael, I'd like you to try asking this nice gentleman for that thyme again, but this time, please make an attempt to sound like you've actually been taught manners."
The truth of it is, I never had to correct my kids, in public, for this kind of behavior. Manners and politeness were simply a way of life for them. They had to use those good manners so much, that it was the most natural thing in the world to them. Clearly, that's not the case in many homes. If it were...I wouldn't have gotten so many gushing compliments about how POLITE my kids were!
Actually it's comments like this that keep the thread going.
Quote:
Originally Posted by maciesmom
Exactly.
If "ma'am" and "sir" usage were truly indicative of better upbringing and more real respect, one would expect to see a significantly lower crime rate (after all crime is ultimately disrespect) and fewer social issues in those parts of the country where a significantly higher portion of people use those terms. I haven't seen that but please feel free to share.
It would be tough to correlate respect vs. crime. Overall crime is higher in the Southern states than the rest of the country, but that could be for a myriad of reasons. Using your logic, could it be possible that the ones committing the crimes were NOT brought up to show respect?
Incidentally, it would appear from this thread that more people are moving away from using terms of respect such as "sir" or "ma'am". At the same time the FBI says that violent crime is increasing, especially in the western states.
Really? You have no problem with a 8-9 year old child referring to a stranger in the store as "Hey Mister"? This is where " Sir, would you please hand me the thyme" is what I would have expected. My father was from Oklahoma, actually not far from the Drummond ranch and I thought he got his "ways" from being raised in this region. But he was also a 30 year Army Officer so I guess that is mostly where it came from.
Interesting differences in regions and generations I guess. I'm almost 67 and most of my contemporaries were raised the same way I was. But times are changing and I doubt my own kids will ask this of their kids. We'll see...I should live so long.
Really? You have no problem with a 8-9 year old child referring to a stranger in the store as "Hey Mister"? This is where " Sir, would you please hand me the thyme" is what I would have expected. My father was from Oklahoma, actually not far from the Drummond ranch and I thought he got his "ways" from being raised in this region. But he was also a 30 year Army Officer so I guess that is mostly where it came from.
Interesting differences in regions and generations I guess. I'm almost 67 and most of my contemporaries were raised the same way I was. But times are changing and I doubt my own kids will ask this of their kids. We'll see...I should live so long.
It's funny though, the difference in speech, regionally. You see, the "Mister" part of the statement would have been acceptable...the "Hey" part, not so much. "Excuse me, Mister, we would like some of that thyme, please. Thank you.", seems so much more polite.
I bet saying SIR to a cop when you are stopped is done across the land. Don't slur the sir!
Sir and Ma'm are used in the military. A female senator who was hammering at an Army general told him to stop saying ma'm to her; that she was a US Senator. She was also ignorant of the military culture.
Sounds like the general was ignorant. A senator is addressed as Senator Smith or senator, as in yes senator, not ma'am.
It would be tough to correlate respect vs. crime. Overall crime is higher in the Southern states than the rest of the country, but that could be for a myriad of reasons. Using your logic, could it be possible that the ones committing the crimes were NOT brought up to show respect?
Incidentally, it would appear from this thread that more people are moving away from using terms of respect such as "sir" or "ma'am". At the same time the FBI says that violent crime is increasing, especially in the western states.
I think this is a perfect example of why word usage is irrelevant. Drumming it into a child to parrot "Sir" or "Ma'am" is completely meaningless if they are not respectful in the way they interact with people.
Really? You have no problem with a 8-9 year old child referring to a stranger in the store as "Hey Mister"? This is where " Sir, would you please hand me the thyme" is what I would have expected. My father was from Oklahoma, actually not far from the Drummond ranch and I thought he got his "ways" from being raised in this region.
Nope. The lack of "please" surprised me but the "Hey Mister" sounds like a child comfortable around adults.
I grew up in an area with a TON of Oklahoma dust bowl refugees and the use of "Sir" and "M'am" was not common. At all. We called parents and teachers Mr or Mrs LastName but family friends (from OK) could be called Mr FirstName. At their suggestion. Never "Sir". Many of us Native CA Boomers have a distinct Oklahoma sound and speech pattern and word usage. Perhaps your father was simply a very formal man?
I couldn't agree with you more. I'm wondering if there is a correlation between folks who train their children to use sir and ma'am and folks who make sure the kids know who is the boss and who is in charge? I imagine there is. I'm not talking about being extremely authoritarian, simply not letting the kids think they are in charge.
That's right; in California and in much of the northeast they let just leave the children in charge.
It far more impolite to imply that people with a different regional dialect can't raise their children to be respectful than leaving out a "sir" or "ma'am." The latter is a lack of disrespect for a single person while the former is a lack of respect for differences across a large group of people.
I'll assume you are using the commonly accepted definition of the word "correlation."
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Exactly. 
