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I don't know that I would punish him unless he was doing something you specifically told him not to do (or something wrong, per se).
He was playing outside and there was an accident.
Yes, I would make him pay for the repairs. That is the responsible thing to do.
I am not sure what you're punishing him for exactly (unless you specifically told him not to do whatever it was he was doing that led to the window being broken).
The fact he told you what he did is a big plus. He did the right thing rather than try to hide his actions.
I agree...and I think OPs "punishment" is uncalled for and excessive...It was an accident wasn't it?...the child will learn to keep secret his mistakes if he's punished for fessing up.
Instead, the natural consequence is I would have my kid in charge of vacuuming up the debris caused by the broken window. Every last speak of broken glass.
I had a broken window once in my car. I vacuumed the asphalt. Again, and again, and again, and I kept finding glass. So, have him vacuum the driveway three or four times, and have him on his hands and knees looking for specs of broken glass. They can cut feet, and they need to be broken up, but it's really hard. Car window glass keeps shattering into smaller and smaller fragments.
Why would you give a child a punishment with the best potential to injure himself--cleaning up broken glass? You really think having glass impaling and cutting his foot is acceptable? He might have to go to the doctor and have the glass removed from the laceration if it breaks while it is in his foot, which is real possibility, nevermind the possibility of it getting infected.....And common sense would tell you that if the rock went through the window, most of the shards would be in the car....?
In the real world you are expected to pay what you break. If you break something in Target, they aren't going to accept that "My son is only 9 years old" and "I'll clean it up if you don't charge me." These are real entitled attitudes present in this post.
Why would you give a child a punishment with the best potential to injure himself--cleaning up broken glass? You really think having glass impaling and cutting his foot is acceptable? He might have to go to the doctor and have the glass removed from the laceration if it breaks while it is in his foot, which is real possibility, nevermind the possibility of it getting infected.....
Well at least the kid will learn not to be barefooted around broken glass anymore.
I feel like I'm a very good dad, constantly putting more importance to love than punishment.
But I also understand the importance of punishment, I just don't want to go overboard.
My 9-year-old son has ADHD and is very impulsive but aside from that he's a very good and caring kid
He was playing in our front yard by himself with some sticks and rocks and for whatever reason threw a rock and hit the side window of our neighbor's SUV and busted it.
Right away he felt bad, told us what he did, offered to give the neighbor all his savings (about $10), etc, etc.
This is the way I punished him: One week - Our middle son (his bestfriend) has to sleep in another room, same room as our toddler, so now he has to sleep alone for one week One week - Has to stay in his room everyday Two weeks - Aside from his regular chores, he has to put dishes in the dishwasher and take them out and put them away everyday One month - No computer, video games, movies or TV.
Does it seem ok? Not enough? Too much?
I went thru a similar situation years back...
My opinion ; "One week" The middle son and him should stay 2gether so they can talk about the situation; and the middle son would act as an "ambassador" between the parties involved. je je
*Second week; he needs to "Clean the room window" every day so he looks to the "outside" for a few minutes and thinks about actions and consequences (although his action was clearly an accident; what I call a "preventable accident".
*Third/fourth week (long punishment for an accident) * I would add he needs to clean the "Dishwasher" see thru window after he is done with it..... (reminder)
**One month? concurrent with other punishment? * How about allowing ten to fifteen minutes of each every day? So when the game; the computer and the movies are getting interesting, they come to a complete halt until the next day. *** Taking in consideration he confessed right after the fact and didn't "LAWYERED UP", HE IS A GOOD KID.. JEJE. YOU ARE A GOOD PARENT !! Keep up the good work and we will change our society "One Kid at a time".
- He was told before not to grab the rocks in the front yard
- He was told before MANY times to only throw rocks where it won't hit people, cars, animals, etc.
- The rock was bigger than a golf ball
- He was standing by the garage door, there were 4 cars around, 2 in our driveway and two in our neighbor's driveway 15-20 ft away
- I'm gonna punish him for one week, make him work for the money and cut the payment in 1/2 for being honest from the beginning. Still he might have to pay $50-$75
I feel like I'm a very good dad, constantly putting more importance to love than punishment.
But I also understand the importance of punishment, I just don't want to go overboard.
My 9-year-old son has ADHD and is very impulsive but aside from that he's a very good and caring kid
He was playing in our front yard by himself with some sticks and rocks and for whatever reason threw a rock and hit the side window of our neighbor's SUV and busted it.
Right away he felt bad, told us what he did, offered to give the neighbor all his savings (about $10), etc, etc.
This is the way I punished him: One week - Our middle son (his bestfriend) has to sleep in another room, same room as our toddler, so now he has to sleep alone for one week One week - Has to stay in his room everyday Two weeks - Aside from his regular chores, he has to put dishes in the dishwasher and take them out and put them away everyday One month - No computer, video games, movies or TV.
Does it seem ok? Not enough? Too much?
This is excessive and you appear to be looking at it from a "bad act" instead of an accident. My daughter has ADHD so I know some things are accidents and others are "I acted without thinking about consequences, and can be more malicious at times."
He came right to you to tell you about it, and you said he felt bad right away. No need for punishment of any kind. You should make him pay off the amount of the window by doing more chores. Cleaning the bathrooms, garbage take out, picking weeds, wiping down counters/cabinets, washing the car.
Why does he have to stay in his room or be taken away from his best friend? I would MAYBE do no video games/TV for a week.. maybe. IMO you will teach your son not to be honest with you because the consequences were wayyy above and beyond the act. UNLESS HE DID IT MALICIOUSLY.Only you can answer that. If he did, hell all of that would be for 1 month. But if you think it was an accident, I would sit him down tell him now that you've cooled off you are thinking more clearly and that you've re-adjusted his punishment because he was so honest and caring when it happened.
- He was standing by the garage door, there were 4 cars around, 2 in our driveway and two in our neighbor's driveway 15-20 ft away
He threw a rock from 15-20 feet away that had enough force to break a car window?
Kid's got a heck of an arm for a 9-year old. Does he play Little League? He should. BTW: A kid throws rocks because he's bored and doesn't have an outlet. Kids with a glove and a ball have a focus for all that energy. <----------- That's a massive hint.
I'm in the camp that there were a lot of positives that should be reinforced so I would probably lean away from the punitive aspect of things
Reinforce that there are reasons why certain actions aren't universally appropriate - throwing rocks in a wide open meadow, throwing rocks into a stream and throwing rocks in a crowded driveway are not the same despite it's the same basic action ..... work through what activities he could have done to alleviate boredom, etc at that moment that would not put others property at risk .... also let him know that worse things could have happened than just a broken window - at that age sequential thought of an action to consequence isn't the strongest, so help work through that
Again, let him know that you proud he stood up and took responsibility and felt remorseful - however, that doesn't change that he was doing something he was instructed not to do nor does it fix the damage caused
There will have to be some level of punishment, but that punishment can be applied in a way that can help make right.
Good opportunity to teach about monetary value as well ...... ask him how much he thinks a broken window actually costs, work out the real amount, assign values to chores and let him work towards that cost
I think the kids attitude after the fact has been good enough that this can be a great teaching opportunity than just a behaviour punishment
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