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No! You don't understand. We ventured far from our neighborhood, often further than we had agreed with our parents. We played in creeks full of poisoned ivy and snakes. We found secret places to play. I understand what you're saying, yes, we were usually with friends (though sometimes I did venture off on my own), but even a 9 year old is much more capable than we give them credit for. And this is coming from a parent who tried not to helicopter parent, but failed many times. I might wonder about a child being left at a park often, but I'd never call the cops unless something scary was happening. IMO, we've (and I include myself) raised a generation of kids who are scared of their own shadows.
Yes, something scary happening.
You mean like calling 911 after you see the 9yr old girl being taken against her will by a man who just drove off in a car with her in it, and due to your shock you didn't get the license plate.
Comparing your situation to having adventures and being able to come home to a house you have access to is much different than a child being left alone for hours on end.
You don't think child molesters cruise parks and public places? And before making a move scout out who would be easier to grab? Seeing the same child alone and unattended.
People also drop their kids off at libraries. It is not the job of the staff to play babysitter. In fact in most libraries they have a policy about unattended children.
I just found out that about a year ago the FBI came into my local library to nab a child molester. I was shocked and was told this by one of the library clerks.
She said all of a sudden a bunch of men in suits came up to this guy and escorted him out. Oh and he had been using the library computer to chat with kids. You don't think he was also looking around for unattended kids?
This mother may be in a tough financial situation if she is working at McDonalds, but to think dropping a child off at a park or a library because there are other kids and parents around is foolish.
Who does all of these things for your 16yr old? Parks and playgrounds should have more 9yr olds roaming free, playing on playgrounds, building forts in the woods. Instead you would have them sitting in front video games or munching on fries since they're "safer" which I've actually seen no evidence of.
I agree with you hml. I'd rather this 9 yr old be outside playing in a park, within easy walking distance of her mother, than sitting in a McDonald's booth on a laptop for an 8 hour period.
In a perfect world, the child could be in the park under supervised conditions. Lots of kids live under less than optimal conditions though. It isn't always the parents' fault.
Would you be comfortable with leaving your child with a cell phone and go off shopping, sight seeing, etc. and picking him up 8 hours later?
That isn't what happened here. The mother met the child for lunch at the restaurant and had her check in throughout the day. The Atlantic ran an excellent piece on the incident.
My son is 10. Even when he plays in the backyard I leave the windows open or look back there every 10-15 minutes to make sure he's ok. I couldn't imagine just dropping him off at a park with a bunch of strangers and leaving him there alone for 10 minutes, let alone hours.
This isn't being over protective. I don't control what he does in the backyard and believe me he does things on our swing set that makes my wife cringe. But I say he's got to learn for himself what can be potentially painful. Luckily he's very athletic and does things that marvel me. The difference is, if he gets hurt or needs me or my wife for anything, WE ARE THERE.
If I saw another kid at the park get hurt the 1st thing I'd be doing is LOOKING FOR A PARENT. And when I learned there wasn't a supervisor of that kid there, I'd be livid. If I saw a kid being dragged away from the park screaming I'd assume the kid is just throwing a tantrum cause he/she doesn't want to leave.
Also, saying there are 40 or so other kids there is a good thing is not the case. It actually makes it easier for a kid to not be noticed if they need help or for a stranger to blend in easier and do something.
Mind boggling.
That seems pretty over protective to me. He's 10 - at that age me and my brother were cycling through unknown towns and villages in The Netherlands by ourselves. Last summer I was two little boys, about 9 or 10 years old out on a rowing boat and fishing by themselves. All the time I see kids that age out riding their bikes, swimming in the lake, playing in the park, walking to school, all without their parents around. 10 is plenty old enough for less supervision!
Who does all of these things for your 16yr old? Parks and playgrounds should have more 9yr olds roaming free, playing on playgrounds, building forts in the woods. Instead you would have them sitting in front video games or munching on fries since they're "safer" which I've actually seen no evidence of.
When our kids were 16, they drove cars, held jobs, and made responsible decisions, well more responsible decisions , than when they were 9.
Also, if a group of kids ganged up on our 16 y/o, he usually had friends with him which helped. He wasn't alone wandering about.
Aside from accidents and mishaps, and the occasional pedophile in the park, what about the other kids? If no one is supervising a bunch of 9, 10, 11, 12+ y/o, there are going to be fights. Kids will get picked on and bullied. Someone will get hit.
There were so many fights in the library that they had to have two uniformed guards there. In a library no less! Imagine the fiasco in a park with no one supervising the behavior of the children.
What I've seen in park situations with a lot of kids roaming around is that the parents who are supervising their own kids, try to keep them from getting involved in the free for alls and try to stop the worst behavior. There's a fair amount of, "Stop out," or "That's enough of that."
Ditto. It's especially shocking that some people who have actually raised kids past that age are saying it's OK. The big issue with child endangerment in kids this age is the "what if" factor. Sure, a kid can play in a park at 9 w/o supervision, but what if she has an accident? Gets sick? What if a bad storm comes up? Where does she go then? ETC, ETC. I've been in crowded parks, and they can be very impersonal. No one much pays attention to anyone but their own. This kid wasn't at the park playing with her friends, and for all her mom was physically close by, she was working.
Add in that so many people now have their faces buried in their cell phone and are oblivious to anything around them, other than their own universe.
That seems pretty over protective to me. He's 10 - at that age me and my brother were cycling through unknown towns and villages in The Netherlands by ourselves. Last summer I was two little boys, about 9 or 10 years old out on a rowing boat and fishing by themselves. All the time I see kids that age out riding their bikes, swimming in the lake, playing in the park, walking to school, all without their parents around. 10 is plenty old enough for less supervision!
I agree. My 10yr old has gone camping with friends in the woods overnight. She's flown across the country by herself. I can't imagine stranding her in the backyard. The world is not an evil place and sometimes kids need to NOT be watched.
That seems pretty over protective to me. He's 10 - at that age me and my brother were cycling through unknown towns and villages in The Netherlands by ourselves. Last summer I was two little boys, about 9 or 10 years old out on a rowing boat and fishing by themselves. All the time I see kids that age out riding their bikes, swimming in the lake, playing in the park, walking to school, all without their parents around. 10 is plenty old enough for less supervision!
You cannot compare The Netherlands to the USA in this situation. That's absolutely absurd! You can't even compare the situation from city to city here in the US and a lot of my thoughts are based on where I live. When I was 10 I went all over the place too on my bike, ventured deep into the woods behind out house, walked to school a mile and a half away, etc.... Things unfortunately change.
So some folks think it is just fine for a 9 y/o girl to be on her own all day. That they have experienced as well as observed children this age building forts, rowing boats, and everything is just fine. No need to worry.
Others think it is risky business. I come down on the risky business side of things. I've see the decisions third graders make. I've seen the fiascos in the library with a bunch of children this age and can only imagine what would go on at a park without even this minimal supervision.
During one afternoon I was at the library, there were two fights over a stolen cell phone, a fracas over someone flirting with a boyfriend, one young man threatened another with a knife (unsure what that was about) and it was reported that a girl was granting sexual favors for five dollars in the boy's bathroom. This was all in the space of two hours!
You cannot compare The Netherlands to the USA in this situation. That's absolutely absurd! You can't even compare the situation from city to city here in the US and a lot of my thoughts are based on where I live. When I was 10 I went all over the place too on my bike, ventured deep into the woods behind out house, walked to school a mile and a half away, etc.... Things unfortunately change.
Unless you live in a particularly dangerous area chances are that the crime rate where you live is lower than when you were a child.
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, than when they were 9.
