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You literally started this thread soliciting opinion, and because you cannot read for comprehension now suddenly you want a philosophical argument?
You are right, but you did little in the way of supporting your opinion. You simply stated:
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If the parents cannot cope with their children or their marriage without caribbean vacations they save for by providing nothing more than the average to their children, than they shouldn't have kids.
What can say to that....I disagree??
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I would try to explain it to you but you seem to have a hard time with a long sentence or two step reasoning.
Please don't make this a personal insulting/bickering match. It's against forum rules and it's really not worth it.
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Vacations: Radical notion, but many, probably most parents, take their children WITH THEM on the majority of their vacations.
I have bolded the key word in this statement. Who said the parent's trip to the Caribbean was their only vacation?
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Another radical notion, most parents do not tell little susie and johnny, "sorry but you have to shop at goodwill because Daddy needs a vacation to get away from you". So if the difference between going on a caribbean vacation or not, is shopping at goodwill, than be a PARENT and take your kid to old navy.
Most people are obese too, but that doesn't mean consuming high amounts of calories everyday is any way to live. People from all income levels shop at Goodwill. Clothes are clothes - why should someone care if they've previously been worn by someone else? How does buying from Goodwill harm a child?
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So finale note, enjoy your foreclosure, I am sure you made a buck, and enjoy being retired at 29 or whatever, and I am sure your town has perfectly average schools, but do your potential kids a favor and just don't.
Did you get a little obsessed over me? Haha...cute!
You are right, but you did little in the way of supporting your opinion. You simply stated:
What can say to that....I disagree??
And you are the one trying to prove that forcing your child to have less than you can afford to give them, so you can go on a vacation, is NOT bad parenting. You haven't remotely proved in anyway, how putting your recreational needs OVER the basic day to day needs.
Forcing your children to live a, what did you call it, "lower middle class" lifestyle, while you enjoy upper middle class lifestyle amenities is not just bad parenting, it is fundamentally SELFISH.
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I have bolded the key word in this statement. Who said the parent's trip to the Caribbean was their only vacation?
I couldn't careless if it was every tenth vacation.
This comes down to a basic truth, you expect your children to live at a day to day lower level so you can enjoy higher class amenities. It fundamentally undermines what it means to be family, and you expect the general public to applaud you as a good parent at the same time. Well, the AVERAGE parent, does not put their child's needs below their wants which is what you are advocating for while demanding to not be called a bad parent. Ridiculous.
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Most people are obese too, but that doesn't mean consuming high amounts of calories everyday is any way to live. People from all income levels shop at Goodwill. Clothes are clothes - why should someone care if they've previously been worn by someone else? How does buying from Goodwill harm a child?
The bolded part has nothing to do with what follows, literally nothing.
The clothes, the day care, whatever, are all less than the best you can afford to give your child, all in the name of saving some money to go on a caribbean vacation. You are literally telling your child, that their needs are less important than your wants….and how is that NOT bad parenting?
Hence the point of this thread. Should parents be content with setting their standards lower than they are capable of providing?
Now, now…to be fair it should be:
"Should parents be content with setting their CHILDREN'S standard of living lower than the parents are capable of providing so the parents can spend the saved money on their own recreational wants i.e. caribbean vacations?"
Hence the point of this thread. Should parents be content with setting their standards lower than they are capable of providing?
I think it depends on how low you set your standards. A wealthy couple could set their standards much lower than they are capable of providing, and still provide a better life for their child than most parents can afford. I don't see anything to feel guilty about there. However, if we're talking about a healthy 20-something who is just too lazy to get up and go to work every day, and would rather raise his child in poverty, then no, he should not be content with that. A good parent wants to do what is best for their child. A child raised in poverty is at a high risk for all sorts of bad outcomes. Only a selfish person would set their child up for failure like that.
"Should parents be content with setting their CHILDREN'S standard of living lower than the parents are capable of providing so the parents can spend the saved money on their own recreational wants i.e. caribbean vacations?"
Ya, this distinction matters. If you are simply a minimalist, and want to raise your kid with the same values - that money isn't everything, fine. If you want to ration your child's food so you can spend money on yourself, not fine.
And you are the one trying to prove that forcing your child to have less than you can afford to give them, so you can go on a vacation, is NOT bad parenting. You haven't remotely proved in anyway, how putting your recreational needs OVER the basic day to day needs.
You have yet to remotely prove how putting my recreational needs above more than what I choose to give a child is in any way harming them.
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Forcing your children to live a, what did you call it, "lower middle class" lifestyle, while you enjoy upper middle class lifestyle amenities is not just bad parenting, it is fundamentally SELFISH.
Parents going on a vacation = upper middle class? I didn't know the criteria for upper middle class was so low.
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I couldn't careless if it was every tenth vacation.
But if you condemn one's actions based on a small part of their budget, you at least need all the facts.
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This comes down to a basic truth, you expect your children to live at a day to day lower level so you can enjoy higher class amenities.
I believe this is where you stumble. It seems to you are envisioning parents that spend 6 months out of the year on the beach or out on a yacht while their child stays with some lady in the ghetto.
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It fundamentally undermines what it means to be family, and you expect the general public to applaud you as a good parent at the same time.
WHat does?
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The bolded part has nothing to do with what follows, literally nothing.
It has everything to do with it. Unless the parent's vacation results in substandard care for the child - who are you to say they're wrong?
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The clothes, the day care, whatever, are all less than the best you can afford to give your child, all in the name of saving some money to go on a caribbean vacation.
They are less than the best, but are they bad? Using your logic, a parent making $200k/year should spend $70k on a full time nanny with a doctorate degree in child care because anything else is "less than the best they can afford". amiright?
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You are literally telling your child, that their needs are less important than your wants….and how is that NOT bad parenting?
"Should parents be content with setting their CHILDREN'S standard of living lower than the parents are capable of providing so the parents can spend the saved money on their own recreational wants i.e. caribbean vacations?"
Now you're getting it. Of note, you can replace vacation with retirement plan, fancy car, boat, jewelry or any other thing that brings people enjoyment.
Asked another way - should a parent forgo all enjoyment (that cost money) in order to redirect those funds toward making their child's life better?
Now you're getting it. Of note, you can replace vacation with retirement plan, fancy car, boat, jewelry or any other thing that brings people enjoyment.
Asked another way - should a parent forgo all enjoyment (that cost money) in order to redirect those funds toward making their child's life better?
No, not ALL enjoyment. No one said that.
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