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Not all fun costs money. There are a lot of things people can do for fun that are absolutely free or at least cheap. And no, I doubt many kids would be negatively impacted by their parents spending a little cash on some fun from time to time. We are a working class family and my daughter has friends in all spectrums from wealthy to middle class to dirt poor. We all manage to do the best for our kids that we can with what we have.
Yes, cheap fun exist, but not all people enjoy cheap fun.
Yes, cheap fun exist, but not all people enjoy cheap fun.
Then they're not looking hard enough.
Kind of like the saying, "Only stupid people are ever bored." (Or however that's phrased in English. I know there's a way of saying it!)
Who in the world doesn't enjoy cheap fun? ANY cheap fun? Not going for a walk? Watching media? Playing a game? Having a cookout? Going sightseeing? Holy cow. If you live in a city, there are TONS of free things to do. If you live in the country, there's nature. Take up a sport. Learn something new.
Real life tell us that lesser amounts of money can effect a child's life.
Oh wait let me translate that for you.
"Real life tell us that lesser amounts of money can effect a child's life. " = I have no data to make my point and cannot refute your claim, so I will pretend this means anything.
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It was an example.
I agree. An example of your continual need to move the goal posts because it has been shown how ridiculous your claim is.
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But now you are trying to tell people that provide for their child how to spend their money (meet your standards).
No. I am not telling anyone how to spend their money. Remember you are not asking permission to do this. No you are asking that no one judge you for denying your child new clothing so you can buy a fancy car and go on a caribbean vacation. Of course a parent CAN spend their money however they like, but if they do it against their families best interest, they can and will be judged a "bad parent". Deal with it.
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It the real world, working class people would say "shut up and mind your business" or the ever popular "when you pay my bills you can tell me how to spend me money". Perhaps a family is ok with being working class rather than lower middle class. Who are you to tell them they should better manage their money and move to the next class? Why should one's life goal pertain to raising their social class?
It isn't a life goal. The life goal should be, to raise happy, healthy, well adjusted adults with the best head start they can give them. Your need for a 10% of your ENTIRE INCOME vacation every year could jeopardize that goal as a PARENT.
And I am not telling anyone how to spend their money. Go back and read YOUR OP. You want to do all of this and still be patted on the head and told what a good daddy you are. Spend your money how you like, but I reserve the right to judge any parent that puts their wants before their childs needs as selfish and a "bad parent".
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And that brings us back to the original post - is it ok for a family to be OK with their lot in life or should a parent's life be lived in pursuit of the next social class?
I thought it wasn't about social class? Having a hard time keeping track now aren't you?
ANyway... nice try but you have already elucidated to clarify that it is about sacrificing the childs standard of living (aka social class) so the parents can have the luxuries of a different social class.
But it is arbitrary. How do you know your child couldn't benefit from you working harder and raising his standard of living? What made you decide that your lot in life is all your child deserves?
Ditto. Are you going to give up your "retirement" to give your kid a better opportunity in life when the time comes?
Seriously, it's not arbitrary. My husband and I didn't just go, "well, this is it and this is how it's going to be for our kid."
We sat down together and discussed all kinds of pros and cons of various options and considerations, and how we felt about certain critical parenting choices that every parent needs to make. We have consistently continued to touch base with each other with changing circumstances and as needs arose for our child that weren't previously considerations.
At every step of the way, we have considered and weighed our options and made the decisions we felt were best for our family and our child.
If at some point, bringing in a higher income became a necessary priority for our family, we would do our darn best to do what we had to do.
Yes and no. (Note: I didn't see the post yet that you were referring to, so I'm not defending any one situation, I'm just taking that quote of yours on its own.) Sometimes, DUE to life experience, you prioritize vacations over other things. If life is stressful enough, and you don't see any way out in the near future, you just have to make a sacrifice and take a vacation. Possibly not a very FANCY one, but it's sometimes necessary to have a mental health break, and/or to make some good memories as a family. If you scrimp and save and put off taking a vacation until you're more settled financially, you may NEVER get to go on it, if you have a string of bad luck and emergencies, etc. I'm not saying that it's an ideal situation, of course not. But I put an annual vacation on the list of necessities in our budget line as well. Lean years mean simple vacations. But you can't just put them off forever...
I agree with you. I don't expect everyone to live their life like they're at a Dave Ramsey seminar. Humans are humans - we get stressed, we get depressed, we get sad, we get burned out. Some people can use a break sometimes or a little piece of fun (the dad spending $2k on his hot rod). Sure the money could go toward their children in some way, but do children really need parents that are burned out and trudging through life?
Kind of like the saying, "Only stupid people are ever bored." (Or however that's phrased in English. I know there's a way of saying it!)
Who in the world doesn't enjoy cheap fun? ANY cheap fun? Not going for a walk? Watching media? Playing a game? Having a cookout? Going sightseeing? Holy cow. If you live in a city, there are TONS of free things to do. If you live in the country, there's nature. Take up a sport. Learn something new.
I don't like to argue this point because I'm all for cheap fun. However, I can't expect everyone to enjoy what I do.
Working class, middle class, average - call it what you will. That's somewhat irrelevant.
Of course it matters. A family making $20K spending $2500 of it on a vacation EVERY YEAR just for the parents is VERY different than a family making $100k (two median incomes) a year spending the same amount.
Oh, I agree. Maybe I didn't express my thoughts as well as I intended, but I agree that an occasional vacation is a priority, but not if it means depleting your emergency fund. I liken it to prioritizing paying off debts: you pay down the higher interest loans, while making minimum payments toward lower interest loans. Similarly, if you have say... 15% of your income marked for savings: the first fruits go toward savings, and the remainder toward vacation.
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Originally Posted by zenapple
Yes and no. (Note: I didn't see the post yet that you were referring to, so I'm not defending any one situation, I'm just taking that quote of yours on its own.) Sometimes, DUE to life experience, you prioritize vacations over other things. If life is stressful enough, and you don't see any way out in the near future, you just have to make a sacrifice and take a vacation. Possibly not a very FANCY one, but it's sometimes necessary to have a mental health break, and/or to make some good memories as a family. If you scrimp and save and put off taking a vacation until you're more settled financially, you may NEVER get to go on it, if you have a string of bad luck and emergencies, etc. I'm not saying that it's an ideal situation, of course not. But I put an annual vacation on the list of necessities in our budget line as well. Lean years mean simple vacations. But you can't just put them off forever...
I agree with you. I don't expect everyone to live their life like they're at a Dave Ramsey seminar. Humans are humans - we get stressed, we get depressed, we get sad, we get burned out. Some people can use a break sometimes or a little piece of fun (the dad spending $2k on his hot rod). Sure the money could go toward their children in some way, but do children really need parents that are burned out and trudging through life?
Again, you miss the point that it is all relative.
If you're spending $2k when your income is $120k, it's unlikely to affect your child's needs and quality of life. If your income is $20k, daddy should think about taking $50 to a bar with some friends for a few pints after a day at an auto show instead of spending a large portion of the household income on himself with no tangible benefit to the family as a whole.
Emergency funds DO impact a child's life, in the sense that it will provide for THEM in the event of a financial emergency. The impact isn't felt unless there A. is never a financial emergency, or B. the emergency funds aren't there in the event of an emergency
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Originally Posted by eddiehaskell
Ok, lets say they have the emergency fund. Emergency funds don't impact a child's life, but $2-3k could, right?
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