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If she doesn't zip her coat herself, then it doesn't get zipped. She'll either figure out how to get it done, or she won't.
My daughter had the toughest time tying her shoelaces. She would get it done, it just took her awhile. If the problem was that I wanted her to go really fast, I'd buy her slip-ons or velcro shoes and have her wear those on the days we were in a hurry, otherwise, I'd have her tie her shoes in the car, or just wait until she had finished tying them on her own (and tell her she did a good job, because I know she was self-conscious about it). If the issue is that you want to move really fast and lose patience that she's fumbling around with the zipper, then let her leave it unzipped, have her zip it in the car, or buy her a coat with buttons or snaps.
Frankly, I don't think her having her jacket zipped is a big deal. She does it, or just leave it undone. It sounds like you're making a mountain out of a mole hill, and then mocking her for good measure.
Looking at current Scotland temperatures, it's ranging from 40s to 60s Farenheit. That maybe is not cold to your daughter! I know it's certainly not cold to me! Especially 50s and 60s. I don't even wear a coat when it's 50s and 60s, and certainly would not zip one up in the 40s, unless it was really windy.
So I say leave her alone. If she whines, tell her to knock it off. No whining allowed unless she brings you cheese.
She CAN zip her own coat but it takes her a while because she struggles to connect zip but does EVENTUALLY manage to persevere but tbh, it is her being lazy and refusing to persevere, if she struggles at School then she gets a friend to "help" but the help ends up being "her friend doing it for her, UNINTENTIONALLY"!
Anyway, the kids I childmind (aged 5 and 8) zip their own coats which I usually use with DD but it doesn't work. I say to her "look, these 2 zip their own coat, even Helen who is 5), Helen is then delighted and mocks Erin which angers Erin.
Every person on here has told you the same thing: Leave her alone and don't make a big deal out of zipping the coat.
The bolded part above makes me think there's a lot more going on than your being worried about her being cold. Lighten up, joanna--she's 7. I doubt if she's lazy or refusing to persevere. I think she's either tired of being nagged or she prefers her coat to be unzipped.
It isn't a "crap zip" because its every coat I buy that has that problem.
In response to Osita, I actually just say "can you zip your coat please?" so if I do as you suggest and say "its cold/raining/snowing, can you zip your coat please" will that get a better response? Try not to criticise my wording please, by that I mean, don't criticise me saying "can you zip your coat please" because I didn't think there was a right/wrong phrase to ask her to do up her coat.
We all have different wording, her dad and me say "zip your coat" whereas at School when wanting kids to zip their coats, teacher says "can you do up your coat" and at guides it is "fasten up your coat", could that confuse Erin?
How about you don't say anything. If she's cold, she'll zip. If she's not, don't worry about it. You have engaged a 7 year old in a power struggle that just isn't necessary. The problem is yours, not hers. She's winning and you are allowing it. Just stop.
Amen to that. Not only that, if the whining persists, that's when you grab the nearest paddle and say, very sternly, "would you like for me to give you a reason to whine?" It would sure stop then, for sure.
Regardless, I think to an extent letting them feel the discomfort of their bad choice is a key way to get through to them. I liken this to the time my son wouldn't stop taking his shoes off in the car, he was around age 3 at the time. I actually started asking around for shoes that could be tied up in such a way that removing them was impossible by the child. Lacking that, I determined he was going to stop. I didn't do the "stop taking them off or I'll beat your butt" method, though, I let him experience the pain of his bad choice. On a given occasion, he had removed his shoes, but I said and did nothing. That included the point when he exited the car and stepped onto the hot concrete barefoot, as it was sunny and about 95'F.
What do you think he wanted? At that point, he wanted nothing more than to have his shoes on. However, I locked the doors so he couldn't retrieve them. I let him, for a good 30 seconds or so, feel the pain of hot concrete on his bare feet. During such time, I then admonished him "are you EVER going to take your shoes off again without my permission?" He said "no," and said it like 3 more times because I kept saying things like "I can't hear you" and "are you going to listen to me from now on" etc. THEN I unlocked the doors so he could get them, and then HE put his shoes on himself. I figured if he could remove them, he could also put them on. He never repeated that mistake ever again.
I would say something along those lines would be called for here.
It isn't a "crap zip" because its every coat I buy that has that problem.
In response to Osita, I actually just say "can you zip your coat please?" so if I do as you suggest and say "its cold/raining/snowing, can you zip your coat please" will that get a better response? Try not to criticise my wording please, by that I mean, don't criticise me saying "can you zip your coat please" because I didn't think there was a right/wrong phrase to ask her to do up her coat.
We all have different wording, her dad and me say "zip your coat" whereas at School when wanting kids to zip their coats, teacher says "can you do up your coat" and at guides it is "fasten up your coat", could that confuse Erin?
Is English not her first language? Does she have hearing issues or is special needs? Why would any of that confuse a 7 year old?
Every person on here has told you the same thing: Leave her alone and don't make a big deal out of zipping the coat.
The bolded part above makes me think there's a lot more going on than your being worried about her being cold. Lighten up, joanna--she's 7. I doubt if she's lazy or refusing to persevere. I think she's either tired of being nagged or she prefers her coat to be unzipped.
Exactly....she does sound nagged and her passive aggressive refusal is a way to get back....add to that being mocked and belittled by her mother and her daycare clients...wow....this is going to be a long term problem that will only escalate if the OP keeps up like this.
Wth...it's a freaking coat zipper - seriously, a ZIP-PER...let it go. I promise, on your death bed, the last thing you will say to your daughter is, "if only you zipped your coat."
She whines though so to stop the whinging, I zip the coat. I know that is wrong but it is easier than listening to her complaints.
I don't want to be rude, but I don't understand why you started this post. When people take the side that you're making a big deal over nothing and she'll learn when she gets cold enough, you tell them they're wrong. So obviously you want to fight with your daughter over this petty thing that is not a safety issue. And you admit that you cave to her desires when she whines enough. So obviously, you have your answer. She will continue to try and control you "just because" she's not the only one in the family who's stubborn.
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A+ parenting.
