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Do you know what heavy people put up with? I've been skinny...I've been heavy and back again.....and being fat shamed is not exactly the same as being bumped into or having your toe stepped on.
You are showing a complete disregard for the victim here.
And you are showing a complete disregard for a parent's attempt to teach their child that teasing will not be tolerated, and that when you do the wrong thing, you do your best to make it right.
Parents can't win with your attitude. Being heavy is not the most onerous burden people bear, there are many non-treatable conditions that are far worse. I would have the same reaction if a child of mine mocked for any physical characteristic. I see no reason to treat the overweight differently.
And you are showing a complete disregard for a parent's attempt to teach their child that teasing will not be tolerated, and that when you do the wrong thing, you do your best to make it right.
Parents can't win with your attitude. Being heavy is not the most onerous burden people bear, there are many non-treatable conditions that are far worse. I would have the same reaction if a child of mine mocked for any physical characteristic. I see no reason to treat the overweight differently.
I am so glad I didn't have your attitude when my child was young and I was still at my skinniest.
Fat people aren't there to be your child's object lesson.
I am so glad I didn't have your attitude when my child was young and I was still at my skinniest.
Fat people aren't there to be your child's object lesson.
My attitude? You need to grow some thicker skin, and realize a few extra pounds aren't the worst thing that can happen to a person. I'll have to go with the normal civilized protocol, the one that calls for an apology when you have done wrong. I can't help you with your hang up, so I bow out.
You continue to apply adult standards to child misbehavior.
My attitude? You need to grow some thicker skin, and realize a few extra pounds aren't the worst thing that can happen to a person. I'll have to go with the normal civilized protocol, the one that calls for an apology when you have done wrong. I can't help you with your hang up, so I bow out.
You continue to apply adult standards to child misbehavior.
You sound unbelievably self centered. What you don't get is NO ONE IS WORRIED ABOUT YOUR KID and your desire to use them as a parenting tool.
Do what you want to not continue to allow your kid to be a rude little brat, but keep them and their apology away from further harming people (and you've been told unequivocally by a number of people that's what you would be doing).
Your kid is rude, you want your kid to apologize even if some people say they don't want it, and the victim needs thicker skin? Easy to see where a kid's behavior comes from.
I am so glad I didn't have your attitude when my child was young and I was still at my skinniest.
Fat people aren't there to be your child's object lesson.
No one is there to "be your child's object lesson". That does not relieve us of teaching and expecting manners.
The two of you do not speak for all overweight people - you can only speak for yourselves. Again - How would anyone know whether you (or anyone else) would or wouldn't want an apology? I'd still err on the side of offering the apology.
And, as I said, the ability to graciously accept an apology is as important as the ability to offer one.
I was responding to another poster btw. You never did answer whether or not you ever directed a child to apologize.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ScarletG
Do you know what heavy people put up with? I've been skinny...I've been heavy and back again.....and being fat shamed is not exactly the same as being bumped into or having your toe stepped on.
You are showing a complete disregard for the victim here.
The apology should always be about the person who was hurt not the person who did the hurting. Realizing that goes a long way in not forcing children to apologize in order to teach them a lesson.
Yes, I have forced my children to apologize and it was almost always an empty apology. I've since learned to teach them why their words and actions hurt others. I've noticed they are more sincere when they understand why something is wrong instead of being forced to say sorry.
And you are showing a complete disregard for a parent's attempt to teach their child that teasing will not be tolerated, and that when you do the wrong thing, you do your best to make it right.
Parents can't win with your attitude. Being heavy is not the most onerous burden people bear, there are many non-treatable conditions that are far worse. I would have the same reaction if a child of mine mocked for any physical characteristic. I see no reason to treat the overweight differently.
You think this whole apology thing is about overweight people? Hell no. Its about all of us who are somehow different and stick out from others. Its about constantly being treated as a lesson instead of a person.
The parent's attempt to teach their child is no excuse to make an already hurt person feel even more embarrassed.
No one is there to "be your child's object lesson". That does not relieve us of teaching and expecting manners.
The two of you do not speak for all overweight people - you can only speak for yourselves. Again - How would anyone know whether you (or anyone else) would or wouldn't want an apology? I'd still err on the side of offering the apology.
Again this is not just about overweight people.
Don't force your kid to apologize!!! If he wants to and he is sincere, it won't have the same hurtful impact as a kid shoved by a mother, making a big scene about it and being forced to do so.
You sound unbelievably self centered. What you don't get is NO ONE IS WORRIED ABOUT YOUR KID and your desire to use them as a parenting tool.
Do what you want to not continue to allow your kid to be a rude little brat, but keep them and their apology away from further harming people (and you've been told unequivocally by a number of people that's what you would be doing).
Your kid is rude, you want your kid to apologize even if some people say they don't want it, and the victim needs thicker skin? Easy to see where a kid's behavior comes from.
Two people in this entire thread said they wouldn't want an apology. How exactly is a parent supposed to know which people would, or would not accept one? My kids have been instructed to apologize, and they were never spurned. I guess they wronged the right people.
If I'm not worried about my child's misbehavior, who exactly should be?
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Easy to see where a kid's behavior comes from.
