Your kid publicly shames a fat person. How do you react? (son, mother)
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Location: Los Angeles>Little Rock>Houston>Little Rock
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I don't think this whole thing is based on a kid saying "hey, you're fat". I lean toward the kid saying something along the line of "what a fat pig, oink, oink". There is a huge difference in my opinion.
I would not shame a kid for speaking the truth. THAT would be wrong.
Seriously? We don't know the exact ages of the kids in the OP, but they were obviously old enough to know they were saying things they shouldn't have been. There are some things we just don't say in public. That should be the message the kids get.
Obviously fun time would be over at that moment and for the foreseeable future.
That said, being fat is going to be less and less of an issue as time passes. The people I thought were monstrously fat when I was a kid are slightly overweight now. When I was in elementary school we had maybe one or two fat kids per class. Now there are fat kids all over the place.
Why are you so intent to make someone that has been insulted indure further embarrassment?
Believe me...a kid forced to mumble "sorry I called you fat" is just another paper cut for someone that already is well aware of their wieght.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Magritte25
Yes and that is why many people with disabilities or other physical characteristics that make them stand out do not want some diluted, forced apology.
So, neither of you ever insisted your child apologize? I find that hard to believe.
It isn't all about you, or your assumptions as to what others might want. Do we really want a world where parents aren't expected to teach their children to make amends?
Kids will be kids. Some kids are very observant. It would tell my kid that it isn't appropriate to comment on people's physical appearance to their face, unless you know them. I would have them apologize to the person ASAP. There are times when people are so large, you can't help but to stare. I recently was shopping with my mom and the grocery store. We passed an extremely morbidly obese gentleman who had the most severe body odor we have ever smelled. My mom made a passing comment to me about how sad it was to see someone in that condition. Conversations like that, away from someone, are fine, as long as they are not rude or demeaning.
So, neither of you ever insisted your child apologize? I find that hard to believe.
It isn't all about you, or your assumptions as to what others might want. Do we really want a world where parents aren't expected to teach their children to make amends?
Certainly my daughter apologized when she did something wrong...I can remeber a few times to friends and the neighbor (she mucked up their decorative stone...apologies and she fixed it with supervision.)
However...as far as I know....she never called adults names or made fun of people that are different. ( And I be shocked to this day if she ever would.)
That has nothing to do with not further embarrassing someone who only wants to get away from the situation. As an adult...I certainly hope the parent has enough empathy to judge the situation and figure out the best course of action...because a forced apology to the victim isn't always it.
I just got in from the water park and noticed two disturbing incidents of relatively young kids (probably under 10) poking fun of fat adults on the lazy river to their face. While kids will often just blurt something out, the parents didn't seem to correct the kids. Had I said something like that, my mother would have been after me!
Would you discipline your child for publicly insulting a fat person?
I wouldn't need to because my kids would already have been raised to have manners, respect elders, and keep their thoughts to themselves.
They would also know that if they went against their proper upbringing not to be rude, they would suffer unpleasant consequences. Therefore they would know to keep their mouths shut.
I would look for a flaw that my child has and briefly make fun of them for it. Then I'd say, 'you didn't like being made fun of, do you? Well neither does that lady. So humble up, buttercup.'
If I had a dollar for all the times parents who say "I raised my kids right", "my kid would never...." had NO idea how their kids (especially as they hit their teens) ACTUALLY behaved I'd be rich.
Makes me chuckle actually.
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Yes and that is why many people with disabilities or other physical characteristics that make them stand out do not want some diluted, forced apology.
