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Depends on the circumstances. In the military, it is used to build team cohesiveness -- if one person falls down on the job, then the whole unit fails. It's used to illustrate, vividly, that your actions have consequences that affect not only you, but those around you.
Meh. I'm not big on military group think so that "benefit" is lost on me.
Two kids "under age 10" - that's a big age span. I'd handle younger kids, who may have only been making an observation with no malicious intent, differently than an older kid who clearly knows better, differently.
My own kids are now 10,7, and 4. I really can't even imagine the older two saying something like this to or about anyone, at their current ages. I can actually imagine my 4-year old saying it, though. He knows what "fat" means but doesn't really know it's a negative thing. Where did he learn it? Probably books, could have been casual conversation, anywhere. It's a pretty common word.
If my 4-year old said it, I would apologize to the person, and simply (at the moment) tell my child, "It's not good manners to say someone is fat". Later, when we were out of earshot, it would be a longer conversation as to why.
If one of my older kids did it...I'd probably have a heart attack from the shock. I know they know better, and they're not mean kids (except to each other, lol). It would be very out of character for either of them. I think the appropriate response would be to apologize to the person to whom the insult was directed, demand an apology from the child, and remove them from the scene. Time outs have been effective with my kids, so that's probably what would happen. Sitting on the side, or going back to the room (if we had one) for at least an hour, and of course a pretty severe scolding.
My kid would not publicly shame a fat person because my kids were taught from the time they could talk about manners.
I know this for a fact. Both my kids bought home school reports using the word "kind".
Kids imitate, if a child is bullying you can bet your hat that child has been a victim of bullying themselves, usually at home, where all this bad stuff starts.
Even the "best" of them slip up at times. Ask a parent whose kids are grown. Never say never.
I just got in from the water park and noticed two disturbing incidents of relatively young kids (probably under 10) poking fun of fat adults on the lazy river to their face. While kids will often just blurt something out, the parents didn't seem to correct the kids. Had I said something like that, my mother would have been after me!
Would you discipline your child for publicly insulting a fat person?
The apple doesn't fall far from the tree. Likely they learned the behavior from said Parents.
I just got in from the water park and noticed two disturbing incidents of relatively young kids (probably under 10) poking fun of fat adults on the lazy river to their face. While kids will often just blurt something out, the parents didn't seem to correct the kids. Had I said something like that, my mother would have been after me!
Would you discipline your child for publicly insulting a fat person?
If the person heard the insult, I would make my kid apologize to the person. Then we would leave the place ( end of the fun and games for this kid today), go home and he is grounded with no privileges for a day or two (time to be determined). There is never an excuse for such cruelty and the kid needs to know that.
We are talking kids old enough to know better here.
So . . . my friend who underwent cancer treatments and who gained 35 lbs. due to an adverse reaction to steroids and medication is not disabled, and has undesirable traits? Right . . .
My point is, you don't KNOW what this woman's issues are. She may have medical disorders, she may have psychological disorders -- to assume that someone who is fat is simply lazy and uncaring is fairly condescending. For all you know, she's already lost 50 lbs. and IS turning her health around. A little empathy is not out of line -- and goes a lot further in teaching children respect for others than having the parents engage in their own private shaming session.
Get real, most people that are overweight are not heavy due to cancer treatments. Most are as you say are lazy and probably being enabled by their other half to stay that way. Kids to a degree may not have a choice, but adults control everything that goes into their mouth. And if someone dropped 50 and is still overweight, I dunno, I'd troubled if a woman told me that. I'd be thinking whats wrong with her for letting herself blow up to begin with
To the OP, you're kid smay not have been in the right, but sometimes public shame prompts people to get themselves together.
I am truly dismayed at the number of people who would just go on playing as if nothing happened. Many said that apologizing to the person would embarrass them? Sorry, that ship has sailed. The person is already embarrassed, might as well do the decent thing and apologize.
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