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Old 12-17-2017, 12:47 PM
 
6,039 posts, read 6,057,497 times
Reputation: 16753

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cyclist1968 View Post
And why would your 15 year old allow this micro-managing of her persons?
Is this a gay relationship?
He's a minor. It's not micromanaging, it's parenting.

 
Old 12-17-2017, 12:48 PM
 
Location: Northern California
436 posts, read 302,727 times
Reputation: 554
Quote:
Originally Posted by SoftSleepyKitten View Post
He is my son. I’m sorry my opening post is so vague. He is currently “in love” with a very troubled boy. He allows my managing because he must. It is my duty to protect him. Allowing him a few hours is a big compromise on my side.
Sorry I just edited my post above hoping you hadn't quoted it yet
This is my fault. Again I am sorry for my original tone.

No I wouldn't allow them to be together at all. They have no business getting involved in homosexuality or being tempted as this is clearly a stumbling block for him

Yes you need to protect him. My prayers are with you, this is not an easy task
 
Old 12-17-2017, 12:49 PM
 
Location: Northern California
436 posts, read 302,727 times
Reputation: 554
Quote:
Originally Posted by elhelmete View Post
He's a minor. It's not micromanaging, it's parenting.
yes I am now up to speed

sorry for that
 
Old 12-17-2017, 01:32 PM
 
23,688 posts, read 9,389,839 times
Reputation: 8652
no
 
Old 12-17-2017, 06:48 PM
 
Location: Florida
7,195 posts, read 5,729,801 times
Reputation: 12342
I spent Christmases with my high school boyfriend. I also spent some nights at his house (in his sister’s room). We got married, then had children while in our 20s. We will celebrate our 20th anniversary next fall. We managed to avoid getting knocked up despite our parents letting us spend time together on December 25 of all days.
 
Old 12-17-2017, 09:00 PM
 
28,164 posts, read 25,315,035 times
Reputation: 16665
Quote:
Originally Posted by Katarina Witt View Post



No, you didn't read it all if you think this is a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship.

Yeah I did. I know its boy/boy. OP should have said that, if she found it important to begin with AND titled her thread differently.

To refresh your memory:

Quote:
Would you let your teenager spend Christmas with their boyfriend/girlfriend’s family?
 
Old 12-17-2017, 10:01 PM
 
830 posts, read 744,786 times
Reputation: 1073
Absolutely not, but my children won't be allowed to date until 18 at least, and then I'm hoping it's more of an arranged marriage and courting situation.

My parents let me spend holidays with my live at boyfriends...it was basically a free for all. Looking back, I just miss that time with my own family. Sometimes we'd bring the BF over, or one year we visited every one of our respective family homes by city bus...but I wish I could have the time back with my own mom/dad/grandparents/sister. It made breakups harder since I was attached to the family, for everyone...they were teaching me their secret Menudo recipes and expecting us to get married...I think that level of commitment without an engagement is too much for young teens.

But, op... everything I've read about this relationship has unhealthy written all over it. Can you find more gay teens for him so perhaps his interest wanes? Is there a GSA club at school? Anywhere? The 12 year old is obviously suffering and his family sounds crazy.
 
Old 12-17-2017, 10:53 PM
 
Location: Somewhere in America
15,479 posts, read 15,629,860 times
Reputation: 28463
Quote:
Originally Posted by Katarina Witt View Post
I think the bolds are a very poor reason for letting this kid do what he wants. That seems like blackmail as in, "Let me do this or I'll never spend a Christmas with you again". Significant others come and go. One thing I told my kids was that family will always be there for them, unlike friends and SOs.
Funny thing - I know several families where this isn't true. Many families don't stick together. Many families aren't there for each other. I have several friends who have a chosen family of friends. One of dearest friends inspired a sign that hangs in our living room. It says "Friends are the family you make along the way". For us, him, and many others, our friends are our families.

Neither is right. Neither is wrong. They're just different ways of living life. We all don't have choices to make. Sometimes they're made for us.
 
Old 12-18-2017, 12:51 AM
 
Location: Georgia
4,577 posts, read 5,668,336 times
Reputation: 15978
Quote:
Originally Posted by what'd i miss View Post
15 ? No. Not mature enough. 16, probobly not either. Would have to be a rare relationship with the other family.

17, 18 or 19 having already met the family on several occasions etc.. would be appropriate IF it were a get a way Christmas... like to a Holiday cabin where everyone was out of their element.
You think that at 18 or 19 you will have a voice in where your child chooses to spend holidays? That's cute.
 
Old 12-18-2017, 04:57 AM
 
Location: Here and now.
11,904 posts, read 5,591,238 times
Reputation: 12963
Quote:
Originally Posted by abcdefg567 View Post
Absolutely not, but my children won't be allowed to date until 18 at least, and then I'm hoping it's more of an arranged marriage and courting situation.

My parents let me spend holidays with my live at boyfriends...it was basically a free for all. Looking back, I just miss that time with my own family. Sometimes we'd bring the BF over, or one year we visited every one of our respective family homes by city bus...but I wish I could have the time back with my own mom/dad/grandparents/sister. It made breakups harder since I was attached to the family, for everyone...they were teaching me their secret Menudo recipes and expecting us to get married...I think that level of commitment without an engagement is too much for young teens.

But, op... everything I've read about this relationship has unhealthy written all over it. Can you find more gay teens for him so perhaps his interest wanes? Is there a GSA club at school? Anywhere? The 12 year old is obviously suffering and his family sounds crazy.
How on earth do you intend to stop them after 18?
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