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He is my son. I’m sorry my opening post is so vague. He is currently “in love” with a very troubled boy. He allows my managing because he must. It is my duty to protect him. Allowing him a few hours is a big compromise on my side.
Sorry I just edited my post above hoping you hadn't quoted it yet
This is my fault. Again I am sorry for my original tone.
No I wouldn't allow them to be together at all. They have no business getting involved in homosexuality or being tempted as this is clearly a stumbling block for him
Yes you need to protect him. My prayers are with you, this is not an easy task
I spent Christmases with my high school boyfriend. I also spent some nights at his house (in his sister’s room). We got married, then had children while in our 20s. We will celebrate our 20th anniversary next fall. We managed to avoid getting knocked up despite our parents letting us spend time together on December 25 of all days.
Absolutely not, but my children won't be allowed to date until 18 at least, and then I'm hoping it's more of an arranged marriage and courting situation.
My parents let me spend holidays with my live at boyfriends...it was basically a free for all. Looking back, I just miss that time with my own family. Sometimes we'd bring the BF over, or one year we visited every one of our respective family homes by city bus...but I wish I could have the time back with my own mom/dad/grandparents/sister. It made breakups harder since I was attached to the family, for everyone...they were teaching me their secret Menudo recipes and expecting us to get married...I think that level of commitment without an engagement is too much for young teens.
But, op... everything I've read about this relationship has unhealthy written all over it. Can you find more gay teens for him so perhaps his interest wanes? Is there a GSA club at school? Anywhere? The 12 year old is obviously suffering and his family sounds crazy.
I think the bolds are a very poor reason for letting this kid do what he wants. That seems like blackmail as in, "Let me do this or I'll never spend a Christmas with you again". Significant others come and go. One thing I told my kids was that family will always be there for them, unlike friends and SOs.
Funny thing - I know several families where this isn't true. Many families don't stick together. Many families aren't there for each other. I have several friends who have a chosen family of friends. One of dearest friends inspired a sign that hangs in our living room. It says "Friends are the family you make along the way". For us, him, and many others, our friends are our families.
Neither is right. Neither is wrong. They're just different ways of living life. We all don't have choices to make. Sometimes they're made for us.
15 ? No. Not mature enough. 16, probobly not either. Would have to be a rare relationship with the other family.
17, 18 or 19 having already met the family on several occasions etc.. would be appropriate IF it were a get a way Christmas... like to a Holiday cabin where everyone was out of their element.
You think that at 18 or 19 you will have a voice in where your child chooses to spend holidays? That's cute.
Absolutely not, but my children won't be allowed to date until 18 at least, and then I'm hoping it's more of an arranged marriage and courting situation.
My parents let me spend holidays with my live at boyfriends...it was basically a free for all. Looking back, I just miss that time with my own family. Sometimes we'd bring the BF over, or one year we visited every one of our respective family homes by city bus...but I wish I could have the time back with my own mom/dad/grandparents/sister. It made breakups harder since I was attached to the family, for everyone...they were teaching me their secret Menudo recipes and expecting us to get married...I think that level of commitment without an engagement is too much for young teens.
But, op... everything I've read about this relationship has unhealthy written all over it. Can you find more gay teens for him so perhaps his interest wanes? Is there a GSA club at school? Anywhere? The 12 year old is obviously suffering and his family sounds crazy.
How on earth do you intend to stop them after 18?
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