U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 12-29-2017, 09:27 AM
 
9,312 posts, read 5,365,408 times
Reputation: 20783

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by RageX View Post
You also assume I haven't been to those as well. ...but, this is good. This helps me, everybody told me to get a Father's Rights lawyer and, that's what I'm going to do because I may run across someone like yourself who makes such assumptions, that might have influenece, so I will NEED a lawyer. Your professional history seems to indicate you have been every kind of mom except a birth mom, you are loyal to the CPS systems because that's likely who pays you, but I could be wrong... see I'm willing to use those 4 words, you are not...
Honestly, a father's rights lawyer isn't going to help much with your profound dislike for your step-son. Do you have any compassion? Do you see that he must be someone in pain to have these issues? And saying no one likes him? What kind of father are you!?

I was totally on your side at first but I will never trust someone who talks in such a vial and hateful way of a child without any hint of compassion.

P.S. He doesn't need to be punished, he needs to be loved, cherished and listened to.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 12-29-2017, 09:38 AM
 
2,720 posts, read 1,005,428 times
Reputation: 7940
Quote:
Originally Posted by RageX View Post
Well, I'm lucky I usually get to see him the entirety of most weekends. There's some families that have no drama that don't get to see eachother that much (professional, military, etc...) Also, the school knows I am more proactive with his school work but, I can't count on them. I live relative near him and, his school and the school has a civil rapport with me.

EDIT: but since I haven't go through custody hearings, nothing is on paper so, she could just decide to lose her **** and say no for weeks or months...

I didn't do any 3rd party stuff for my son yet... I just wish judges would take his word. I didn't have to coach or teach him, he figured it out on his own, "Daddy hugs me, kiss me, play with me, teach me math and, reading, and writing and, he is the smartest, cutest Daddy." I ask about his mom, "She doesn't do anything!"
Be very careful of this, Rage. Your son is smart, kids his age realize what Daddy wants to hear. That Mommy is useless.

Kids all do this when there is rancor in a divorce. They badmouth the other parent in situations where it's obvious that's what the parent wants to hear.

My guess is, a CPS worker would get much more balanced answers.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-29-2017, 10:20 AM
 
Location: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
21,522 posts, read 8,632,652 times
Reputation: 16061
Quote:
Originally Posted by RageX View Post
Well, I'm lucky I usually get to see him the entirety of most weekends. There's some families that have no drama that don't get to see eachother that much (professional, military, etc...) Also, the school knows I am more proactive with his school work but, I can't count on them. I live relative near him and, his school and the school has a civil rapport with me.

EDIT: but since I haven't go through custody hearings, nothing is on paper so, she could just decide to lose her **** and say no for weeks or months...

I didn't do any 3rd party stuff for my son yet... I just wish judges would take his word. I didn't have to coach or teach him, he figured it out on his own, "Daddy hugs me, kiss me, play with me, teach me math and, reading, and writing and, he is the smartest, cutest Daddy." I ask about his mom, "She doesn't do anything!"
If she cuts off visitation you will need to go to court. You aren't divorced so technically you have the same custodial rights as your wife. If she tries to interfere with that you will have an easy time in court, keep track of how much time you spend with him and try to extend it when possible
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-29-2017, 10:44 AM
 
Location: The Heart of Dixie
1,325 posts, read 774,066 times
Reputation: 3268
Quote:
Originally Posted by HighFlyingBird View Post
Honestly, a father's rights lawyer isn't going to help much with your profound dislike for your step-son. Do you have any compassion? Do you see that he must be someone in pain to have these issues? And saying no one likes him? What kind of father are you!?

I was totally on your side at first but I will never trust someone who talks in such a vial and hateful way of a child without any hint of compassion.

P.S. He doesn't need to be punished, he needs to be loved, cherished and listened to.
Oh, please. He said he's tried to help the child - and I saw nothing "vial" (it's vile, just FYI) and hateful about the way he was talking about him. The worst thing he said was that he didn't like him.

You assume a lot about someone you know absolutely nothing about.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-29-2017, 10:58 AM
 
Location: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
21,522 posts, read 8,632,652 times
Reputation: 16061
Quote:
Originally Posted by HighFlyingBird View Post
Honestly, a father's rights lawyer isn't going to help much with your profound dislike for your step-son. Do you have any compassion? Do you see that he must be someone in pain to have these issues? And saying no one likes him? What kind of father are you!?
I was totally on your side at first but I will never trust someone who talks in such a vial and hateful way of a child without any hint of compassion.
P.S. He doesn't need to be punished, he needs to be loved, cherished and listened to.
It's not his kid, why don't you blame the kids problems on the parent who in all likelihood caused them, his mother and maybe his birth father?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-29-2017, 03:05 PM
 
510 posts, read 494,322 times
Reputation: 590
Well before any of us get at each other too hard...

The CPS person said ere are issues with his behavior that stem from "his choices". They were pressing him with questions like, "So why do you feel like you don't have to do work that everybody else does?"... I got the right to be frustrated at years of this

...but the tone "HighFlyingBird" takes sounds like, if this teen beat me in my sleep she would still say it must've been something I did. If you didn't want him to hate you, you shouldn't tell him stop failing classes. That sounds as dumb as telling a cop, if you don't wanna get told off by a shoplifter, don't arrest him...

EDIT: Instead of Talking Tough, I need to Talk Tactics and, if she restricts visitation too much, I will need a lawyer. Kids need Dads not Visitors. As it stands now, we were probably heading for divorce anyway even before any of this...

Last edited by RageX; 12-29-2017 at 03:18 PM..
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-29-2017, 06:52 PM
 
9,312 posts, read 5,365,408 times
Reputation: 20783
Quote:
Originally Posted by Melodica View Post
Oh, please. He said he's tried to help the child - and I saw nothing "vial" (it's vile, just FYI) and hateful about the way he was talking about him. The worst thing he said was that he didn't like him.

You assume a lot about someone you know absolutely nothing about.
OMG sorry I had a typo. I am so embarrassed and ashamed! But not as much as if I talked about a child like the OP did.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-29-2017, 06:55 PM
 
9,312 posts, read 5,365,408 times
Reputation: 20783
Quote:
Originally Posted by RageX View Post
Well before any of us get at each other too hard...

The CPS person said ere are issues with his behavior that stem from "his choices". They were pressing him with questions like, "So why do you feel like you don't have to do work that everybody else does?"... I got the right to be frustrated at years of this

...but the tone "HighFlyingBird" takes sounds like, if this teen beat me in my sleep she would still say it must've been something I did. If you didn't want him to hate you, you shouldn't tell him stop failing classes. That sounds as dumb as telling a cop, if you don't wanna get told off by a shoplifter, don't arrest him...

EDIT: Instead of Talking Tough, I need to Talk Tactics and, if she restricts visitation too much, I will need a lawyer. Kids need Dads not Visitors. As it stands now, we were probably heading for divorce anyway even before any of this...
Actually it isn't dumb. Its parenting without being a jerk. How do you expect him to act when his step dad of most of his life hates him? He could be developing mental health problems like his mom. Or suffering because of being abandoned by his dad, dealing with a cray mom and a really mean "step dad".

Poor kid. Seriously, poor kid.

Look in the mirror. YOU married this woman and raised this kid. YOU have a lot to think about.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-08-2018, 12:04 AM
 
510 posts, read 494,322 times
Reputation: 590
Currently, the wife resides with the 3 kids, on the city dime. My son says, the older stepson "pows me sometimes", "takes my snacks" and, "mommy doesn't do anything". I am financially and socially capable, or so I've been told by my son's school. The stepson is failing his way through his 2nd high school in Freshman year even worse because without my presence, he just bullies his mom...

Yes, I am trying to get just custody of my son, 1) to get him away from that mess but, 2) legally I likely do only have a claim to him.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-08-2018, 10:44 AM
 
754 posts, read 434,095 times
Reputation: 999
Quote:
Originally Posted by RageX View Post
Well, I'm lucky I usually get to see him the entirety of most weekends. There's some families that have no drama that don't get to see eachother that much (professional, military, etc...) Also, the school knows I am more proactive with his school work but, I can't count on them. I live relative near him and, his school and the school has a civil rapport with me.

EDIT: but since I haven't go through custody hearings, nothing is on paper so, she could just decide to lose her<bleep> and say no for weeks or months...

I didn't do any 3rd party stuff for my son yet... I just wish judges would take his word. I didn't have to coach or teach him, he figured it out on his own, "Daddy hugs me, kiss me, play with me, teach me math and, reading, and writing and, he is the smartest, cutest Daddy." I ask about his mom, "She doesn't do anything!"
I cant shake the feeling that there’s more going on here. More than just a crazy mum that shouldn’t have custody. Okay so the mother has some mental issues. But not bad enough that the authorities have seen it fit to take her kids away even after investigating the teenager’s suicide threat. So while I believe she is probably not well, i don’t believe, based only on what you posted here, that she is nuts enough to win full custody against; seeing as she has two out of three well adjusted kids.

What’s your story? Aside from you being the more financially stable one i cant shake the feeling that you have other things going on too. Why didn’t you re-enlist? You mentioned a friend with PTSD, and foregoing ‘ more money’ in favor of being with your son. Is that an issue you have too? Why would your wife want to ‘play that card’? Are there incidents that have occurred that could validate her claim?

I say go with the share custody and document everything approach if she really is unfit, though honestly she doesn’t sound LEGALLY unfit...to me anyway.

ETA: Also why is she living on the city’s dime? She is still your wife and has your kid(s).
Shouldn’t you be supporting them?

Last edited by BLDSoon; 01-08-2018 at 11:02 AM..
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply

Quick Reply
Message:


Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2017, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32 - Top