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It's always a red flag when someone wants someone else to put assets in their name. This girl might be lazy, but she isn't dumb at all. I know people who hate working, but they learn how to work other people, or work the system, to get what they want.
And your kid wouldn't talk to you for a really long time...it ever.
I don't think so. My son and I have an open honest relationship. If he didn't like what I was saying, he would say so, but he would not shut me out of his life because I voice an opinion. Shutting someone out because of an opinion is an immature brat response.
Is your son mentally challenged? If so, you should try to get conservatorship. If not, you should mind your own business and allow him to live his life in peace, as he sees fit.
I’d agree with you, but “everybody knows” from one of the other currently running threads that men operate from logic and not emotion. I’m sure the son has a very logical reason for dating the woman.
Bahahaha!
OP, sounds like he's in lust. Having a baby with her is the worst decision he could ever make right now.
You have to move some other girls into his orbit. Either he is the type of person who can't stand to be alone or she is giving him great sex. Or something, she is provide for some emotional or physical need. You have to replace that with someone or even somehow.
Pray they don't have kids. I think I would secretly pay her to not have kids.
Does she have family? What are they like?
I would say "absolutely not". The mom should not interfere with this relationship. There could literally be H*ll to pay.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lieneke
If I were in your situation, I would invite him to dinner at a reasonably nice restaurant and have a calm discussion about "enabling". If you can find pamphlets at a mental health agency about this problem, this will help validate what you are going to tell him.
I would start by validating his feelings for this woman - that he feels the need to care for her, protect her and nurture her as he would a puppy or child (don't say puppy). When this relationship is healthy, the nurtured person thrives and succeeds. When this relationship is unhealthy, the nurtured person fails. That's what has happened with your son. His nurturing is enabling her to fail over and over again. As long as he provides a safety net, she will never take any initiative to do anything with her life.
He needs to encourage her to get therapy rather than a job. There's a reason why she thinks she should be waited on hand and foot, and until she respects your son as an equal, he will be her servant. Give him a scenario where this will be a problem. For example, what if he has a health issue where he needs to be looked after, even short term. Can he rely on her to provide for him? Most likely not, so what is his plan when he and this girlfriend are unable to provide? Make it clear that you are not their safety net. He needs to seriously think about that before he goes deeper into the mess he's made for himself.
I wonder if she is simply biding her time while more of his assets are put in her name until the day she decides to cash in.
Quote:
Originally Posted by HighFlyingBird
And your kid wouldn't talk to you for a really long time...it ever.
Agreed, HighFlyingBird. My brother hated, literally hated his daughter's bf. He was always saying, "If I could just get her alone, I'd talk some sense into her", blah, blah. They got married and didn't even invite him to the wedding.
I’d agree with you, but “everybody knows” from one of the other currently running threads that men operate from logic and not emotion. I’m sure the son has a very logical reason for dating the woman.
It's very logical that if their sex life looks like something off the Playboy Channel at 2 a.m., he'll do what he has to do continue it. I did that for a little while when I was a young dummy, now I'm happily married.
There are people who are emotionally not able to hold a job. I know at least 2 who have this problem. One is on SSDI the other one the other never worked long enough to qualify.
Just saying there are other causes than laziness for some things.
My son is 27 and has a girlfriend he has been dating for 2 years. She is easily the laziest woman I have ever met. Granted, my son is making stupid decisions about the relationship as well. He met her online and she moved into his apartment after just two months. He got her a job at the local Wal-Mart and though she didn't drive it was just about a ten minute walk. She quit that job after just three weeks saying it was too hard (she was working in dairy).
She then got another job as a hostess at red robins but quit that due to not liking her coworkers, she then got a job at a subway but quit that after a month. My son lost his job and he and his girlfriend moved in with me. He finally managed to get a job and got her another job at Macy's but shortly quit that one as well. So while my son was at work she would just stay in his room on her phone, computer etc not doing anything. When I would try to talk to her she would brush me aside, keep saying she was depressed and never felt well. Eventually his car broke down and when he got another one, come to find out he put her name on the title as well
She got ANOTHER job at a mazzios at which point my son managed to get a trailer about 20 minutes away. Well, he put her name on it too
It doesn't have any real furnishings aside from a bed, no washer/dryer etc. And, surprise surprise, after they moved she quit that job saying she didn't want to drive that far.
And now my son is telling me she has been talking about marriage and kids and he is considering it.
As you can see, this whole thing is a huge train wreck and this woman is all kinds of lazy, doesn't want to work and is taking my son for a ride. A ride he is always willing to keep getting on I might add. I just don't get why my son is being so stupid about all of this!
Sounds like she's not too lazy in bed!!! Clearly she has him "whipped" and has him thinking with his OTHER head!!!!!
Your son can still save his life. He needs to move out of that trailer and let her go on welfare or whatever. As long as she isn't pregnant he can still salvage his life. She clearly needs a rich Man to take care of her but good luck to her finding that.
It's very logical that if their sex life looks like something off the Playboy Channel at 2 a.m., he'll do what he has to do continue it. I did that for a little while when I was a young dummy, now I'm happily married.
So there is this thing called taking a plane ticket to Dominican Republic making a local friend who you can trust and getting set up with a young girl who needs money for schooling. $1000 can make a big difference in her life and set her up for success, all in exchange for a wonderful time with a caring Man who just needs some excitement in in his life. No harm no foul.
I never understood why American Men after the 90's risk life limb and reputation for local hoes that only come with drama when you can go abroad, wrap it up (I personally like crown brand condoms) and as long as you do your research and network ahead of time have stress free fun with virtually no repercussions.
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