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Like Red's assistants do in the Blacklist. They leave and clean the place up like they were never there.
Get out !!! I've seen this story before and with worse participants (grandmom and brother(uncle)
You could end up wasting a decade or two of your life on arguing how to raise a child to become a responsible person in society.
By worse participants I meant not only was the mother bad at disciplining, her adult brother (uncle) and mom (child's grandmom) were not up to parenting the right way either.
The things that have occurred in their lives would bring you to tears.; too much to list.
As you mature, grow wiser and notice a kid taking the wrong path and their mom or dad has no concerns I can see why you're adamant about it. But in some cases your persistence to correct it is futile.
All I can say is maybe develop an app that is entertaining to youths but also teaches them principles to become responsible and respect one another. Old TV shows in the late 70s and 80s taught kids and teens principles. does that still exist today as much?
Oh, yes; not only did the boyfriend/father and I disagree about child-rearing, but I had his whole family against me! Responsibility without authority is a losing proposition. As others have advised you, RUN.
I'm not sure what you were expecting dating this woman. We're you thinking you could rescue her from having ALL the responsibility? You are never going to fill the shoes of bio dad, and GF will always overcompensate for picking such a louse to make a child with. You will either need to a accept your limited role or break it off sooner rather than later. Do not move in together.
I'm not sure what you were expecting dating this woman. We're you thinking you could rescue her from having ALL the responsibility? You are never going to fill the shoes of bio dad, and GF will always overcompensate for picking such a louse to make a child with. You will either need to a accept your limited role or break it off sooner rather than later. Do not move in together.
Actually step dads can fill the shoes of bio dad. It's how we learned responsibility with assigned chores during the week after our school homework and before going out to play with neighborhood friends, learned to cook meals from scratch before watching MNF, other sports, or a weekly comedy show with the family. Saturday morning was cutting grass or trimming the hedges. It was a team effort in the house and we were in organized sports. Bio dad was the typical weekend visit, get some treats, record shop or comic books, and exercise and take us to see our grandparents or his adult friends kids.
So they were both great. I think it is more due to today's society and one parent being indifferent to the importance of building character and responsibility. Of course, the kids desire to embrace that is a factor but that is influenced by social media and these artificial reality tv shows.
You can be a great dad but you won't reach every kid. Not every great coach, teacher or motivational speaker reaches each student.
" I can't discipline him so I feel like there is nothing I can do about it. It's probably a good thing I can't discipline him because he wouldn't have any electronics for the rest of the year after what I've witnessed.
If I brought this up to her I know for a fact it would turn into a fight so what am I supposed to do?"
OP, I think you've left the building. But all you need to know to determine what you should do is to re-read your post above. It's been 3 years. The situation is getting worse with the son being more defiant (pre-teen but just wait for teen years if you think it's bad now), GF fighting with you if you bring up things pertaining to her son, and you now assuming more and more of his care and responsibility.
So after 3 years, you know that things are worsening and about to get worse and GF is fighting with you, son is getting more defiant and you are getting dumped with more responsibility. The real question is WHY are you asking what are you supposed to do.
Two choices: sign up for more years of increasing burden of son's care and fights with GF.
Leave and have your peace of mind, freedom and the life you choose.
Actually step dads can fill the shoes of bio dad. It's how we learned responsibility with assigned chores during the week after our school homework and before going out to play with neighborhood friends, learned to cook meals from scratch before watching MNF, other sports, or a weekly comedy show with the family. Saturday morning was cutting grass or trimming the hedges. It was a team effort in the house and we were in organized sports. Bio dad was the typical weekend visit, get some treats, record shop or comic books, and exercise and take us to see our grandparents or his adult friends kids.
So they were both great. I think it is more due to today's society and one parent being indifferent to the importance of building character and responsibility. Of course, the kids desire to embrace that is a factor but that is influenced by social media and these artificial reality tv shows.
You can be a great dad but you won't reach every kid. Not every great coach, teacher or motivational speaker reaches each student.
Of course a stepdad can fill the role of dad. I'm referring to THIS particular group of people. The son seems very bonded to his dad and his mom treats the OP like he is more babysitter than authority figure meant to mentor the kid.
IMO, this guy wanted permission to punish. He equated (and apparently most people have) punishment with discipline. Punishment is just one aspect of discipline...but that's the aspect this guy wanted to do.
I'm thinking mom and this kid might just miss a bullet, and that's OK.
Of course a stepdad can fill the role of dad. I'm referring to THIS particular group of people. The son seems very bonded to his dad and his mom treats the OP like he is more babysitter than authority figure meant to mentor the kid.
I am totally on board with you on this, the step dad is of course, not the bio dad, but he is living there, Helping to pay the bills, and babysitting the child. While a stepparent may not be a legal parent, disciplining a child is perfectly legal (so long as it doesn't involve excessive corporal punishment). Unless the discipline crosses the line, a stepparent should have the authority and support of their partner to discipline, if not, it is a non working relationship with both the child and the mother....he stated that if he trys to discuss this with her, it would invoke a fight, therefore, I'd leave....and not look back...not once. She is using him.
I am totally on board with you on this, the step dad is of course, not the bio dad, but he is living there, Helping to pay the bills, and babysitting the child. While a stepparent may not be a legal parent, disciplining a child is perfectly legal (so long as it doesn't involve excessive corporal punishment). Unless the discipline crosses the line, a stepparent should have the authority and support of their partner to discipline, if not, it is a non working relationship with both the child and the mother....he stated that if he trys to discuss this with her, it would invoke a fight, therefore, I'd leave....and not look back...not once. She is using him.
OP does not live with the g/f & her son per his first post.
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