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Breastfeeding a baby after 1 year old Max is just absolutely sick!
You sound like you have a perverted mind. One of those people who didnt know breast are for feeding a baby and think they are just there for men to play with. What ever.
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Originally Posted by crazyme4878
I don't really care how long other people want to nurse. It doesn't effect me, even when it is done in public. I don't understand why some people really get worked up about it. I understand people totally not wanting to do it themselves or even disagreeing with it, but there are other people who get really, really worked up about a child nursing past two years, or even one year.
I agree. What does it have to do with anyone else.
I couldnt breastfeed as I had surgery and couldnt produce milk. I wanted to and think its the best thing for the baby. Its really up to the family to decide when the child should ween and most kids do it on their own when they are ready.
I did child wear. I loved having my son in a sling. He was so comfortable and content.
I also co-sleep. It was and still is the best thing for all of us. My son is very content and sleeps well as do the rest of us. Also, SIDs is lower with co-sleeping babies. Read up on Dr.Sear.com and there are many interesting facts.
The western world seems to want to seperate children from parents as soon as possible and I just dont understand why. They are children, babies, not mini adults. Military regimes are not natural or normal to a baby.
I did watch the videos, but I do not think that they were an unbiased presentation about attachment parenting. The "reporter" interviewed 3 families who are all pretty extreme, and one child psychologist who opposes AP. There are many families, like my own, who practice AP but don't go to the extremes that were shown in the videos. In addition, there are many experts who agree with the AP philosophy of parenting. The reporter didn't even mention, no less interview, any of them. She could have talked to Dr. Sears or Dr. McKenna about breastfeeding and co-sleeping. She could have talked about Kathryn Dettwyler's research regarding natural weaning. The reporter says some things as though they are facts when they are actually her opinions and chooses to show clips of things that I really don't think are very central to AP as though they are (like elimination communication). She says that AP parents don't believe in discipline and boundaries, and I don't think that's true. She uses the term "gentle discipline" as though it's a joke and there is really no such thing or something. I just really thought that this video was created to show AP in a bad light, and was not in any way an objective story.
Yes, I practice AP and extended breastfeeding. My daughter is almost 2.5 and she nurses about once a day most days. I won't be surprised if she's weaned by the new year because even when she nurses now, it's not for very long. My goal was to nurse for at least 2 years, so I didn't place many boundaries on nursing before then. But that doesn't mean that I don't believe in boundaries, just that I didn't want to do anything that could jeopardize that goal. Once she turned 2, we worked on night weaning, then on cutting down our daytime nursing. I believe that nursing is a relationship, and it has to work for both parties involved, so she doesn't get to nurse every time she wants to just because she wants to. Yes, we have boundaries now. Now we nurse before bed, and if she wants to when she wakes up in the morning, and sometimes at naptime.
Most people I know who have practiced extended breastfeeding have had children who weaned sometime around 2 or 3 years old. I think that biologically, this is the peak of the bell curve, though there will always be some who wean earlier or later. One factor is that a child's immune system is not fully developed for several years, so a child is still getting important immunities from breastmilk at that age. Another factor is that as long as a child still has a need for milk, that it might as well be breastmilk - I never understand why some people think it makes more sense to feed their child cow's milk instead of human milk when a child turns 1 year old, when clearly they still think the child needs milk. And that some people think that it's gross or unnatural for a child that age to be nursing instead of drinking cow's milk just shows a huge misunderstanding of the nature and biology of mammals. I also find it amusing that many people who find out my daughter is still nursing wonder if she eats table food or drinks other liquids out of a cup! Obviously, these people have never been around nursing toddlers, because of course she consumes a whole variety of foods and drinks besides nursing!
I think that that my philosophy around nursing applies to many other aspect of my parenting too - that this is a relationship and both of our needs are taken into consideration. I think that this idea was lacking in the video - that they only take into account the needs of the child. But I think that this way is much more typical of AP parents that I know. I think that mainstream society does not take the needs of the child into enough account and is much more focused on the needs of the parent.
ADVentive--you put it so well. I didn't understand a previous poster's comment about AP children not being able to function in society... What?! I don't know of any AP child running wild. Any kids that I have witnessed like that, unfortunately, have come from low-income houses with parents that just don't care one way or another. Attachment Parenting on almost any level takes such involvement and careful thinking--do people really think that we are going not think of how our child will grow up and fit into society? There are extremes on either side and to base generalities off of those extremes is purely foolish.
(p.s. I should say that I didn't watch the videos)
More power to them. I am raising my children to understand the rules of society. When they get a job when they finally get them all touchy-feely grown, do they really thing society is going to understand about their non structured self?
I doubt it.
Sorry, here is the quote I was referring to. She didn't mention "wild" but "non structured self" and referred to AP parents not teaching the rules of society. I still stand by my comments to this post. Perhaps the poster was only referring to the families/children in the video and not to all AP families?
Ain't no dam way. I suppose the extended breastfeeding is ok...if you can do that. I figure if they are big enough to ask for a breast OR BOTTLE...they are big enough to use a cup.
More power to them. I am raising my children to understand the rules of society. When they get a job when they finally get them all touchy-feely grown, do they really thing society is going to understand about their non structured self?
I doubt it.
Do you honestly think a baby that is caried in a sling or baby who co-sleeps will grow up to not understand rules in society? Really?
I did a lot of research and it all points out that babies who have a very close strong connection to their mother/parent is more independent as an adult. When a baby cries itself to sleep it sets of the same adrinaline as fit or flight. This causes the child to be insecure. A child who feels totally secure as a baby grows into a very independent adult.
<snip> focus on the child and lacking the proper amount of discipline since many advocates do not believe in disciplining their children.
<snip>
I snipped that bit from the original post, because I'm wondering where this idea came from, that "many advocates do not believe in disciplining their children"....??
I have yet to meet anyone who understands and believes in the Attachment Parenting philosophies and also has a set belief about NOT disciplining their children!
Matter of fact, the people I've known who don't discipline their kids have either been the ones who just don't give a darn at all, or those who are constantly guilt ridden about working or other separation issues and don't want to be the "bad guy" when they DO have time with their kids.
I think the word "discipline" is one that means many different things to many different people though. For some, discipline must be spanking and strict rules and authoritative parenting. For others they literally interpret "discipline" as TEACHING and their methods will be totally different. Both example parents are using discipline, just in very different ways.
As for the OP questions:
I am very familiar with Attachment Parenting as a philosophy, and I used quite a bit of it with my own kids, but of course it was blended with my own style and modifications. I breastfed my eldest only for about 4 months, due to breastfeeding problems, being young and single and having zero support. With him I co-slept though, and used the sling, and mimicked the nursing relationship as much as was possible with a bottle fed baby. The youngest boy nursed past age 3, co slept, and was carried in a sling as well.
My children have always had rules and boundaries and have no confusion as to who is the parent, but I've also encouraged them to be independent thinkers, and I've used common sense in disciplining them. They haven't been raised to blindly follow authority just because.
As I've said before around these forums, they are wonderfully well adjusted, independent kids that every teacher, EVERY YEAR, calls a "joy" to have in class,that other parents want to befriend their own children since they "set a good example", and they've got zero issues with "dependence" at age 11 and 16.
Biggest benefit? They trust me, and that trust started, I believe, with the AP practices in infancy.
It really does not bother me how parents decide to raise & nurture THEIR children.
What does bother me is when one side or the other side acts as if their CHOICE is superior to all others & those who chose otherwise are raising heathen children.
There was a family in WA state who got stranded in a freak snowstorm last year, I believe. The husband started to walk to look for help. The mom was breastfeeding the infant & breastfeed her 2yr old so the toddler could survive. What an amazing thing a woman's body can provide.
Do what makes you happy & do what you believe is right. To knock down others for their beliefs is hypocritical & ignorant.
I breastfeed both until they were 9 months. Then they were on formula. At 12 months they were on milk. It never phased me to think what society would judge my decision & if someone did...well, that's sad.
I know little to nothing about attached parenting, so I can't comment on it.
I'm happy the way we are raising our children. Is it perfect? No. But I would never want to put the pressure of perfection on my family. We are happy & content doing things the way it works for us.
If a mom CHOOSES to nurse until the child is 4, fine. It's her child. Not mine.
As for the teenager & adult years, let's all get back together & sit around & judge. I am sure EACH & EVERY ONE of us will have lots of good & bad to share. It's reality & reality is not perfect or exact. I really don't think that nursing your child until they are 2 means they are going to be a Rhodes scholar or criminal. Giving your infant formula does not mean they will get every virus or infection they come in contact. To think extreme means one is living extreme & that's not healthy.
To try to have a legitmate discussion that spans birth to adulthood based on parenting methods is a little extreme.
I'm tackling the infant & toddler years. When the teenage years roll around, I'll have the mindset for how the good & bad is handled at that time. Infants are not toddlers who are not teenagers who are not adults. Each stage requires different thought processes, etc. I'm not even remotely concerned about the teenage years right now. Why? I have 10 yrs before we even get there...that's a long time & in between that time LIFE is going on...we live for today, not for what may happen in 2018! (common sense applies for posters who use it! We do teach manners & responsibility that will take them through their life).
Be the parent YOU want to be; not what someone wants you to be. Your baby doesn't care what book you are reading or what train of parenting you have decided to jump on...they need YOU.
I didn't choose attachment parenting, attachment parenting chose me.
When I was pregnant I decided that I would listen to myself and trust my instincts when it came to parenting my child.
I had always planned to breastfeed as the health benefits are undeniable. My original goal was to do so for 6 months which changed to one year and then 2. I'm still breastfeeding my 2 year old today and plan to stop when we are ready. It wasn't something I planned to do but it felt right and still does. I've had to deal with a lot of criticism from uninformed people but I did my research and everything I have read says that it is the healthiest thing that I could do for my child, physically and emotionally. Fortunately my pediatrician agrees. It's nice to have that support.
When my baby was born I had a crib set up for her in her own room. I also had a bassinet next to my bed which I planned to use for the first few months. I couldn't sleep. I kept looking into the bassinet to check on her. I finally just scooped her up and brought her into bed with me and we both slept great. Again I heard criticism so I read and read and read researched based info and found that there was nothing wrong with co-sleeping. Contrary to popular belief, it reduces the risk of SIDS and is the biological norm for all mammals. Most humans worldwide still co-sleep to this day. Cribs are a modern day invention, co-sleeping has been around forever. It's worked well for us and we still co-sleep to this day.
I used slings and wraps and other carriers to carry my baby. I was able to comfort my baby by holding her close but still have my arms free to cook, clean and grocery shop with ease. I could even take my two rambunctious dogs for walks with her without having to deal with a stroller. I chose to baby wear because it felt right and made my life so much easier.
Attachment Parenting has worked well for our family as it has been in line with my instincts and my beliefs. The only regrets I have had in my life are those times when I ignored my instincts. I don't want to ever regret my parenting so I choose to follow those instincts. It doesn't make me a perfect parent by any means but it is what works for me and my family.
Well, I think somewhere between the two extremes resides a comfortable middle ground. In nature, a mammalian mother weans the offspring if the offspring clings to the tit beyond what's reasonable. Usually, though, its rather a gradual but progressive process where the youngster begins eating more and more adult foods, and, as that happens, the milk slowly dries up.
In the video of the mom nursing the five-year-old alongside the younger child, I think what might be happening is the older child competing with the younger for mom's attention -- sibling rivalry and sibling jealousy.
I do agree with the psychologist that children need boundaries. Boundaries do provide a sense of security, and I think the lack can produce a tyrannical child who can fail to comprehend social limitations and the consequences of breaking boundaries later in life.
Obviously, these folks are gambling that their experiment will prove beneficial to their offspring. I think a lot of what they advocate is healthy. I also think that a lot of what they advocate is questionable. Anything taken to an extreme can be detrimental, especially if that extreme goes beyond what is natural for the species in a less artificial environment (see examples within indigenous aboriginal peoples).
For me, breastfeeding stopped when the teeth came in. Also, if they're old enough to ask for it in words they're old enough to be weaned. If you want to continue to give them the benefit of breast milk, then give it to them in a bottle or cup. The kid doesn't have to get it directly from the boob to get all the benefits of it.
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What ever. 
