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If your daughter wants to do sleepovers, have them at your house where you can control what happens. Sleepovers are a very fun part of childhood..
I agree... our kids were always trading amongst friends houses for sleepovers - always at a home where we knew the parents and our house was part of that cycle. Great memories... never saw a bad thing in them.
I think people need to be VERY CAREFUL with sleepovers and that they need to be restricted to very close family and friends that you feel very comfortable with and trust. My oldest dd is 9 and had her first sleepover last summer. She had a close friend, whose family I have gotten to know quite well over a period of a year or so, over to our house to sleep and a few weeks later she went over to the same girl's house for a sleepover. I felt quite comfortable with this. On the other hand, earlier in the summer, she was invited to a slumber party to a girl's house, whose parents I have never met and my dd had never even had a playdate with the girl. My dd did not go. There is no way I would let that happen. When my dd was five and in Daisys, the troop had a sleepover party and although I had "met" the moms, who were supervising, I really did not know them that well and the girl, whose home it was at, had a teenage brother and I, myself, was unable to stay and help supervise, so my dd went to the party but we both left about 10 pm. She was fine with that. My youngest is 7 and has yet to be invited to a sleepover and I'm grateful for that!!! I just don't think its necessary at a young age and only with carefully screened friends/family when they are older. JMHO
I agree!
I think that age 8-10 is appropriate for a sleepover. Anything else is way too young to not be sleeping at home int he comfort of their own bed with their parents in the next room.
My daughter was 8 when she went on her first sleepover. It was in the home of a very close friend and she has only had a handful of sleepovers there since. She also had her very first sleepover here in our home for her 10th birthday this summer. And she had a sleepover with just her close friend after that.
My younger daughter is 7.5 and she has been asked to sleepover at a friend's house, who happens to be the sister of my older daughter's friend. I said no. She is not ready to sleep away from home just yet and she knows it too. We will reevaluate the situation as she matures a little bit.
I think that sleepovers are just a bunch of hype anyway. I remember enjoying htem when I was a kid, but it was usually when we were doing things that we shouldn't have been doing when the parents fell asleep. I don't see that I will allow my kids to go to sleepovers at random friends houses, well...ever. If I know the family really well and totally trust them and feel comfortable with the situation, then I will take each situation as it comes. I recognize that sleepovers are a fun part of childhood, but they are not the end all be all of a friendship.
My children's grandparents have offered to take the children over night on many occasions and we always say no. A friend sleepover I can understand, but I don't see the point of a grandparent sleepover. They are not going to be spending the night giggling and talking about boys with grandma so there is really no point other than dumping them off so mom and dad can have free time, imho.
Thanks, you all confirmed that I am not crazy... I, too, remember sleepovers and yes, we did things we should not have. The thing is that I barely know this person who asked me yesterday. We are going to stick to our guns, no sleepovers, period. Times are different, I don't care what anyone says. Access to adult things is very easy with technology the way it is. I never even thought of the gun thing, yes, I'm sure they have guns. The dad has a camoulflage canoe in his garage. No thanks, No sleepovers, not for my angel, not now, and hopefully not ever.
Thanks, you all confirmed that I am not crazy... I, too, remember sleepovers and yes, we did things we should not have. The thing is that I barely know this person who asked me yesterday. We are going to stick to our guns, no sleepovers, period. Times are different, I don't care what anyone says. Access to adult things is very easy with technology the way it is. I never even thought of the gun thing, yes, I'm sure they have guns. The dad has a camoulflage canoe in his garage. No thanks, No sleepovers, not for my angel, not now, and hopefully not ever.
The bottom line is you have to do what makes you and your family comfortable.
My daughter has gone to sleepovers starting in first grade with no repercussions, but I'm still more comfortable when kids come to our house.
My kids (2 girls now ages 9 & 13 - both getting ready to have b-days) have been doing sleepovers for years. We have known the parents of all of the sleepovers and their kids have been at our house for sleepovers.
Here is something that you have to think about as many of you have said this - "only at our house". Well, what if the OTHER parents feel that way? I do but there is a middle ground. I won't let mine sleepover or just go over and hangout and play at a house that I don't know the parents. Last year my oldest want to go over to another girls house from school. I did not know the girl that well myself much less her parents. We told her no and said we would have to meet them FIRST and NOT on the "first occassion" but at other times when both would be together. We even asked why could the other girl not come over to our house and heard, "her parents don't let her go to someones house they don't know". DUH! We are saying THE SAME THING! What I am trying to say is there is a time when we have to sit our kids down and talk to them about inappropriate behavior by kids AND adults "in charge" and the age of 5 is NOT TOO YOUNG. We send them to school and the same things can happen there by a teacher, volunteer or chaperone. I'm not saying to just send your kids over to someones house and NOT meet the parents at all. Just that it takes US to make the effort to get to know them so that the kids can play. Sure some parents allow the kids to stay up all night and talk and giggle. Others (us) make them go to bed at a decent hour so that they CAN have fun the next morning. We have made special "sleepover" memories and know all of my daughters friends know that when they sleepover here what happens.
The issue of guns in the house came up. We have guns in our house (saved my life before). Ours are locked up and NOT where kids can even THINK about getting to them nor visible to ANYONE. They would have to do some MAJOR digging in MY "private areas" that are off limits - a rule in our house for younger guests is that master bedroom and bath are OFF LIMITS. TALK TO YOUR KIDS ABOUT GUN SAFETY!!!!!!! Again, age 5 is NOT too young. Just look in the news where kids that young HAVE brought guns to school. What if YOUR kid is riding their bike home from school and FINDS A GUN THEMSELVES on the ground? I actually had a friend whose son DID find a gun in the field behind their house. Because they HAD taken the time to teach him what to do if a gun is EVER present he knew EXACTLY what to do. He went straight to his mom, showed her where and they called the police. There was a story done on one of the news magazine shows several years ago about kids and gun safety. They had the teenagers (old enough to know what guns do) in a room w/ a hidden camera. Parents were watching and the ones that had said their kids would not do anything with it as they were TOTALLY AGAINST guns were shocked to see their kid PICK THE GUN UP and point it at someone and their own head. You MUST teach your kids about gun safety even if YOU don't believe in owning them or being around them. You NEVER know where they will be and if someone shows up with one. They need to know. It COULD save their lives someday.
Grandparents. My kids spend the night w/ their grandparents. THEY LOVE IT! Grandad makes a bigger mess than the kids do. It is special times w/ them that they will remember and cherish forever. I remember us grandkids spending the night w/ our grandparents and I was even lucky enough to spend time with just my great-grandmother. It was always fun because they would let you do things your parents would not (not trouble or anything like that or staying up too late). This is where family traditions and stories get handed down to each generation.
My kids (2 girls now ages 9 & 13 - both getting ready to have b-days) have been doing sleepovers for years. We have known the parents of all of the sleepovers and their kids have been at our house for sleepovers.
Here is something that you have to think about as many of you have said this - "only at our house". Well, what if the OTHER parents feel that way? I do but there is a middle ground. I won't let mine sleepover or just go over and hangout and play at a house that I don't know the parents. Last year my oldest want to go over to another girls house from school. I did not know the girl that well myself much less her parents. We told her no and said we would have to meet them FIRST and NOT on the "first occassion" but at other times when both would be together. We even asked why could the other girl not come over to our house and heard, "her parents don't let her go to someones house they don't know". DUH! We are saying THE SAME THING! What I am trying to say is there is a time when we have to sit our kids down and talk to them about inappropriate behavior by kids AND adults "in charge" and the age of 5 is NOT TOO YOUNG. We send them to school and the same things can happen there by a teacher, volunteer or chaperone. I'm not saying to just send your kids over to someones house and NOT meet the parents at all. Just that it takes US to make the effort to get to know them so that the kids can play. Sure some parents allow the kids to stay up all night and talk and giggle. Others (us) make them go to bed at a decent hour so that they CAN have fun the next morning. We have made special "sleepover" memories and know all of my daughters friends know that when they sleepover here what happens.
The issue of guns in the house came up. We have guns in our house (saved my life before). Ours are locked up and NOT where kids can even THINK about getting to them nor visible to ANYONE. They would have to do some MAJOR digging in MY "private areas" that are off limits - a rule in our house for younger guests is that master bedroom and bath are OFF LIMITS. TALK TO YOUR KIDS ABOUT GUN SAFETY!!!!!!! Again, age 5 is NOT too young. Just look in the news where kids that young HAVE brought guns to school. What if YOUR kid is riding their bike home from school and FINDS A GUN THEMSELVES on the ground? I actually had a friend whose son DID find a gun in the field behind their house. Because they HAD taken the time to teach him what to do if a gun is EVER present he knew EXACTLY what to do. He went straight to his mom, showed her where and they called the police. There was a story done on one of the news magazine shows several years ago about kids and gun safety. They had the teenagers (old enough to know what guns do) in a room w/ a hidden camera. Parents were watching and the ones that had said their kids would not do anything with it as they were TOTALLY AGAINST guns were shocked to see their kid PICK THE GUN UP and point it at someone and their own head. You MUST teach your kids about gun safety even if YOU don't believe in owning them or being around them. You NEVER know where they will be and if someone shows up with one. They need to know. It COULD save their lives someday.
Grandparents. My kids spend the night w/ their grandparents. THEY LOVE IT! Grandad makes a bigger mess than the kids do. It is special times w/ them that they will remember and cherish forever. I remember us grandkids spending the night w/ our grandparents and I was even lucky enough to spend time with just my great-grandmother. It was always fun because they would let you do things your parents would not (not trouble or anything like that or staying up too late). This is where family traditions and stories get handed down to each generation.
All I'm going to say is, it's sad that the world has come to this.
I loved sleepovers when I was a kid...of course my parents knew the parents of my friends.
I know my children enjoyed the sleepovers they had....but the baby is 26 now.
I think sleepovers are an important part of childhood. They encourage the child to discover who they are away from their family, and give them an independence that I'm not sure how else they would get. That said, I am the house that hosts a lot of the sleepovers, or did before we moved. There was our house, and the one other family's house who had 5 kids. There was a lot of alternating, there in the day, our house at night, or vice versa.
Of course, these were sleepovers with people with whom I was familiar. I also knew that the sleepovers there were well-supervised, and at our house, I was always a part of the group... goofing off right along with the kids! DD started doing the sleepover thing when she was about 8, and with us, yes it got to be pretty much every weekend, with either her being gone, or having a whole houseful! Our youngest, who is substantially younger than everyone else, doesn't understand why everyone else's friends can just drop in, but I need to talk to moms before he can get together wtih his friends.
Sleepovers, yes. Extreme caution, an even BIGGER YES!!!
I'm quite unpopular in my neighborhood because I just say NO to sleepovers. I don't know any of our neighbors well enough to have my kids sleep there, and I don't need to expose groundless suspicions of other kids.
Much has been said here about not knowing the "other" family well enough, and I agree, but think how well do you know the other kids? You're exposing yourself and other members of your family to potential liability, acccusations, etc. The world has gotten weird!
Neither of my boys have been on a sleepover. They are quite young...ages 5 and 6. I just don't trust that many people! I would be worried about an older teen in the house, or a preteen for that matter, showing inappropriate things or doing inappropriate things to my kids. Or a stepdad, a bio-dad, an uncle who is visiting, whomever. I know I may be paranoid, but that's the way I think when it comes to sleepovers.
On the other hand, I think my first sleepover was in 2nd grade. And we had them often throughout my childhood and into my teen years. It was a different time.
I will definitely let my kids have sleepovers and go to them when they are older, but I'll be a stickler about gathering information on who is going to be home, any relatives from out of town visiting? Etc.
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