What's your policy on sleepovers?? (legal, accidents, child, girlfriend)
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Don't be afraid to say no. Ignore the people slandering you on this site. If you have any doubt, say no. If you feel good about the parents and know them very well, well enough to know they would protect your child at all costs, say yes. It's easier to say no than to live with regret. Just say it's our policy not to do sleepovers. Or something like, "___ just doesn't do well with little sleep". Seriously, what good ever happens after midnight? As far as getting used to be away from home, camp is a great solution.
Last edited by momoftwoawesomekids; 08-29-2010 at 10:37 PM..
Reason: typo
I think 5 is too young. I'd be more comfortable with 7 or 8.
I would only allow it if you know the other girl's parents well
I would never allow it if guns are in the house.
Sleepovers are fun and a right of passage in childhood. I just think 5 is a bit young for them but you know your daughter best.
What if the parents were cops?
I am going into law enforcement and hope to have a husband that will be in law enforcement too.
I would hate for my future kids friends to not be allowed to sleep over just because they were guns (locked in safes) in the house.
I have always been allowed sleepovers.
Ever since I was really young.
I was in girl scouts and did troop sleepovers.
I slept over at friends houses from school.
My mom just had to meet and know the parents a bit.
I have done many sleep overs and just had a friend spend the night the other night.
My brother is 16 now and has done them since about 6 or 7.
I think they are fun, they are a good way to help children grow, adapt to new things, learn some independence, see different ways of life. It's great bonding time with friends.
Staying up late is the WHOLE POINT. You stay up late, eat junk food, gossip, play with make-up and stuff, just have fun and relax and you know enjoy life.
I don't get people who are work and no play. You go to bed early all the time, wake up early all the time, never doing anything for the sake of living and having fun and don't get the concept of just enjoying something that has purpose.
Was me sleeping outside with my friend in a sleeping bag under the stars beneficial? No but sure as hell was fun and nice.
My daughter is only 5 and she's been asked to sleepover on several occasions. I have a niece to does sleepovers a lot (nearly every weekend), and I just don't understand the benefit to them. They stay up late, eat junk food, and do questionable things (like talk to boys, the internet, etc.). My husband and I are on the same page about sleepovers, we just don't want to go down that road, at all. But my questions are: Are they ever appropriate? Do kids benefit from them? Why are people asking us already when my kid is only 5? How can I say we don't do sleepovers without sounding judgemental?
How does everyone feel about them? Enlighten me please.
I went to a couple of friend's houses for sleepovers, one girl's in particular, from time to time. It wasn't all that much though, since I am severely allergic to cats and semi-allergic to dogs. They all had cats. I rarely had sleepovers at my house. In general, I wasn't really into them. I liked sleeping at home much better than sleeping at a friend's house...it was more comfortable for me.
There are kids who do benefit from sleepovers, helping them build stronger friendships with other kids. However, I feel that it's important for parents of both children to get to know each other very well, since they will be putting their child's welfare in the hands of another person for a night or more. Five doesn't seem like a bad age to start, that's when sleepover are fun and enjoyable for some kids...until the child gets older and finds them "dumb". It's just a matter of knowing the parents well enough to allow sleepovers and trusting that your child will be in good hands. If parents of your child's friend invite your child to sleepover, ask them questions regarding the kids staying up late, monitoring what the children do, let them know what you child is not allowed to do, if the parents own guns, etc. If you're still not ready for sleepovers, try to set up playdates instead. Take one step at a time! You have every right to be concerned about sleepovers, can't be too careful these days!
Wow. I'm surprised how many people here won't let their kids go to sleepovers. When I was a kid (not too long ago, I'm 22 now), I went to sleepovers all the time. Mostly at the homes of two close friends, when it was just me and my friend (and our parents were friends), but I also did a lot of sleepover birthday parties with big groups of girls at the homes of people my parents didn't necessarily know that well. I'd say I was probably 8-12 for most of the group sleepovers, younger with my closest friends. I remember that when my parents dropped me off, they would always ask the host parents for detailed information about the night's plans and exchange contact information. In all the many sleepovers I went to, we never did anything more scandalous than eat too much pizza and naming boys we had crushes on. I remember there was one girl in my class who was not allowed to sleep over and her mom would come pick her up early from sleepover birthdays. She was the only person I ever knew who wasn't allowed to have sleepovers.
Last edited by dreamoutloud; 08-29-2010 at 11:48 PM..
We have sleepovers at our place all the time and our kids go to other peoples places for sleepovers too. The kids have been doing it since they were born. We have dropped kids off with a bottle of expressed breast milk for the midnight feed.
Just last weekend our 10y.o. was away at a sleepover.
A neighbour of ours and her husband were going to a function. Their 10yo was at this same sleepover so she asked if her younger son 8ish could sleepover and keep our 9yo company. They are great friends. So he stayed with us and went with us to Church on Sunday AM. They are not church people and so went and had a romantic breakfast someplace and then dropped into our church to pick up the kid on their way home. Its no big deal.
As far as policy is concerned, at our place though we insist on the visiting kids behaving respectfully so for example the non church kids learn to sit quietly while everyone is served and then they learn we say grace before the meal and likewise at bed time we will pray with the kids as they go to bed. They don't have to participate but they do have to be respectful and sit quietly. We have set bed times and we explain that in the morning, if they wake early, they must not wake others and they can go and play quietly in the games room.
Our 14yo is at that age where boys are intersting and we have told her that if she is inviting boys to our place then we will have segregated sleeping and that undre no circumstances are boys allowed in the girls room and vis versa. She has been to one sleepover where boys were present. We knew the parents and they supervised the event well. They all watched a video together and then all slept in the one large room. The parents looked in a a number of times in the night and all the kids were well behaved.
It really is surprising how many parents on here don't seem comfortable with the idea of sleepovers. I was always allowed to have them. At my house, at their house.. It didn't matter. I'm 19 and still have sleepovers with my best friends! The biggest rule was that I was not allowed sleepovers with boys up until I was 17- my best friend is a guy and both his parents and my mom allowed us to have sleepovers when we wanted. They knew nothing would ever happen (we always valued our friendship and would never risk it).
Sleepovers have always been a huge part of my life.. I can't imagine not being allowed them. Everyone I knew was allowed them.
Whatever works for you. My parents didnt allow sleepovers and of course I permit them rather liberally. I did have a talk with my children before permitting them about conduct specifically uncomfortable conduct. I always make sure they have a cell phone and I also know my children. My daughter has no problem with sleepovers, but my son is more particular and so has only had one sleepover out of the house and 2 at our house.
As a parent you make the decisions that work for you - you should be confident in your gut and instinct as a parent of your individual child(ren).
I don't mind my kids going to sleepovers at a relatives house. My cousin adn I used to sleep over at each others houses and it was so much fun. We'd stay up all night and talk, laugh etc. However it did annoy our parents because they couldn't get any sleep with our constant talking.
... My husband and I are on the same page about sleepovers, we just don't want to go down that road, at all... How can I say we don't do sleepovers without sounding judgemental?
If both you and your husband don't want her going to sleepover then that's it. She doesn't go. You no doubt have the little voice in your head saying, "No!". Pay attention to it.
And don't worry about "sounding judgemental". This is a situation where you should not care how you sound or what other people think. You are her MOM and DAD and you are in charge of the parenting.
There will be plenty of situations down the road where you have decided, "No" on something. Stick to your guns!
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However, I feel that it's important for parents of both children to get to know each other very well, since they will be putting their child's welfare in the hands of another person for a night or more. Five doesn't seem like a bad age to start, that's when sleepover are fun and enjoyable for some kids...until the child gets older and finds them "dumb". It's just a matter of knowing the parents well enough to allow sleepovers and trusting that your child will be in good hands. If parents of your child's friend invite your child to sleepover, ask them questions regarding the kids staying up late, monitoring what the children do, let them know what you child is not allowed to do, if the parents own guns, etc. If you're still not ready for sleepovers, try to set up playdates instead. Take one step at a time!
You have every right to be concerned about sleepovers, can't be too careful these days!
