What's your policy on sleepovers?? (ideas, 9 year old, natural, college)
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I think people need to be VERY CAREFUL with sleepovers and that they need to be restricted to very close family and friends that you feel very comfortable with and trust. My oldest dd is 9 and had her first sleepover last summer. She had a close friend, whose family I have gotten to know quite well over a period of a year or so, over to our house to sleep and a few weeks later she went over to the same girl's house for a sleepover. I felt quite comfortable with this. On the other hand, earlier in the summer, she was invited to a slumber party to a girl's house, whose parents I have never met and my dd had never even had a playdate with the girl. My dd did not go. There is no way I would let that happen. When my dd was five and in Daisys, the troop had a sleepover party and although I had "met" the moms, who were supervising, I really did not know them that well and the girl, whose home it was at, had a teenage brother and I, myself, was unable to stay and help supervise, so my dd went to the party but we both left about 10 pm. She was fine with that. My youngest is 7 and has yet to be invited to a sleepover and I'm grateful for that!!! I just don't think its necessary at a young age and only with carefully screened friends/family when they are older. JMHO
I'll agree with this poster about sleepovers. And also to make you more at ease, those Girl Scout troop leaders have to go through background checks to do lead troops.
Kids should be kids having sleepovers are apart of growing up i did it as a child and i love it. My parents were friends with the girl who's house i would sleep over at so it was ok.
What if the parents were cops?
I am going into law enforcement and hope to have a husband that will be in law enforcement too.
I would hate for my future kids friends to not be allowed to sleep over just because they were guns (locked in safes) in the house.
There are as many nutjobs with badges as not, IME. And a nutjob LEO is an armed nutjob.
That having been said, I allowed my older kids to have sleepovers, and go to them, when they were younger. I knew the parents and was comfortable with their relative state of mental health; presumably they were comfortable with mine. My son has only had sleepovers at two friends' houses, and I know both families well. My youngest isn't interested in either going or hosting, which is fine. Her social group doesn't do that.
When we hosted sleepovers one of my girls had a friend who just didn't like sleeping away from home. She'd come over until about ten, then her parents picked her up when the other girls started to settle down with movies. It was fine with everybody else in that little social group, and she was comfortable.
Kids should be kids having sleepovers are apart of growing up i did it as a child and i love it. My parents were friends with the girl who's house i would sleep over at so it was ok.
What if the parents were cops?
I am going into law enforcement and hope to have a husband that will be in law enforcement too.
I would hate for my future kids friends to not be allowed to sleep over just because they were guns (locked in safes) in the house.
Being a Girl Scout Leader I answer this question alot. When we sleep somewhere that isn't "Secured" according to Council Policy we have to have two adults who have been background checked blah blah and all that, IN VIEW of the sleeping girls all night long. "Susie's Daddy is a cop in smallville can't he provide security???"
Yes he is a police officer. Yes I suppose he has passed 20 kinds of background checks by the dept. to be a police officer. Do I know his personal habits? NO. I do know he was brought up on charges one year for suspected whatever, even if it was cleared... no thank you. I know what house (that isn't his or his relatives) that he spends his lunch hour parked in front of every day. I don't want to be responsible for something happening to 15 little girls. Just because he is "good enough" to be hired as a LEO doesn't mean I want my child exposed to him/her and their household. I don't know that they lock up the gun cabinet at night. I don't know what channels they have on cable/direct tv and freely watch in front of my child. I don't know if their liquor cabinet is kept locked or not. I know some people think being a LEO is the end all and be all of things, but it really isn't. I used to think this about military personnel. If they are in the military they must be ok. Not so.
My daughters go spend the night with friends but I am very VERY picky who they spend the night with. ESPECIALLY if there are older boys/brothers in the home.
I think 5 is too young. I'd allow it at 8,9,10 providing I knew the family. I think it can get out of hand, and should only be once in awhile- maybe for birthdays, etc. If my daughter had a very close girlfriend who she spent a lot of time with and I knew the family, then more frequency would be fine, but not a bunch of girls all the time.
I don't get the whole "no older brothers" idea. How would you feel if kids weren't allowed to sleep at YOUR house, because you have teenaged sons?
We have actually had one of my brothers friends mom be like that, we'll call her HM for hovermom.
My brother has a friend we'll call him C(15/16), and he had an older brother, we'll call him A(17 or 18 now idk). A is a horndog and a trouble maker, C is made to watch him when the parents aren't home and A isn't allowed to be around his own friends because of the trouble he gets into, so A is made to hang out with C and C's friends if he wants to do anything or have socialization.
My brother would want C to spend the night but HM would want to send along A as well so he could get out but since I was at home and was going to be there at night she wouldn't let A go and in turn C couldn't go as well because it was "unfair" to A.
She was convinced her son was going to come to my room and we'd have wild sex all night. I was 19 and this kid was like 16 going on 17 and my brother and his friend were like 14 going on 15.
Not only was that illegal and I could go to jail and never become a cop but her son was like fugly as ever and had anger issues...if anything that kid was gonna get OC'd for trying to come in to my room in the middle of the night.
What if the parents were cops?
I am going into law enforcement and hope to have a husband that will be in law enforcement too.
I would hate for my future kids friends to not be allowed to sleep over just because they were guns (locked in safes) in the house.
It does not matter who the parents are or what they do. I do not want my kids in a house where there are guns around.
The owners can be very responsible, but kids are kids and they are curious about things like this. Nearly 500 children are killed each year in gun related accidents. That may not be a big deal to you, but I do not intend for my child to be one of the statistics.
Only 40% of families with guns actually keep them locked up and unloaded. Cops are actually some of the worst offenders because they feel they may need to get at their guns quickly.
Note what kids actually do when they find a gun rather than what they are taught to do:
My daughter is only 5 and she's been asked to sleepover on several occasions. I have a niece to does sleepovers a lot (nearly every weekend), and I just don't understand the benefit to them. They stay up late, eat junk food, and do questionable things (like talk to boys, the internet, etc.). My husband and I are on the same page about sleepovers, we just don't want to go down that road, at all. But my questions are: Are they ever appropriate? Do kids benefit from them? Why are people asking us already when my kid is only 5? How can I say we don't do sleepovers without sounding judgemental?
How does everyone feel about them? Enlighten me please.
At 5, they talk to boys and use the internet? Not anything I can even see them being interested in at that age.
Sleepovers are great bonding times, but I think you want to limit them. At 5, it depends on the child, but most are probably too young for it. At 8 or 9, it can be a special treat once in a while.
We did do a girl scout sleepover with our whole Daisy troop when they were 5 to prepare them for a camp out. We wanted to be sure they were ready to be away from mom overnight. That's different though than having sleepovers with a friend or two.
As for what to say, you can just say you don't think your dd is ready for them at this point and worry later about whether you may change your ideas as she gets a bit older.
Dorothy
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