What's your policy on sleepovers?? (teaching, toys, 18 years old, schools)
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As a young child, my sleep overs consisted of the girls from my troop, which a lot of us went camping together on girl scout trips, so everyone's parents knew each other pretty well, they were all at the meetings, events etc. We also were cheerleaders together so they were always around each other.
Into middle school and high school it was people from school and my mom would just spend time with the parents.
I did have one friend my mom would never let me sleep over at her house but she was always welcome over to my house.
In 2013 the sleep over is no longer just a bunch of children going over to each others homes and talking to teach other, daring each other.
Now it involves going over, whipping out that ipod or iphone and interacting with all kinds of different people.
- kids in grades above and below them, older siblings and their friends, strangers on sites that advertise themselves as "chat with a stranger"
- They constantly post pictures of what's going on at the sleep over
- They are sending videos and pictures to friends/strangers
- Video chatting with friends/boyfriends/girlfriends.
And from what we can see in the media, it appears that most of this happens behind closed doors with parents who are asleep/don't monitor, etc.
Would any parent like to speak up about how the Sleepover dynamic has changed since this thread was started?
In 2013 the sleep over is no longer just a bunch of children going over to each others homes and talking to teach other, daring each other.
Now it involves going over, whipping out that ipod or iphone and interacting with all kinds of different people.
- kids in grades above and below them, older siblings and their friends, strangers on sites that advertise themselves as "chat with a stranger"
- They constantly post pictures of what's going on at the sleep over
- They are sending videos and pictures to friends/strangers
- Video chatting with friends/boyfriends/girlfriends.
And from what we can see in the media, it appears that most of this happens behind closed doors with parents who are asleep/don't monitor, etc.
Would any parent like to speak up about how the Sleepover dynamic has changed since this thread was started?
Strangely, both of my kids have had sleepovers whose dynamic is from your "before" picture. With us awake. Who knew.
I just read this whole thread, it seems like a lot of the worry was focused on Males at the homes. The dynamic has changed.
Not only is it males at the homes, but now it's people outside the homes as well, all ages, strangers, friends, etc... Just wondering what a parent in 2013 has to say about this topic..
I just read this whole thread, it seems like a lot of the worry was focused on Males at the homes. The dynamic has changed.
Not only is it males at the homes, but now it's people outside the homes as well, all ages, strangers, friends, etc... Just wondering what a parent in 2013 has to say about this topic..
Um. I am a parent. It is 2013. I have a male in my home. He has other males in our home when he has a sleepover. People who are outside the home generally are ... well not inside the home during the sleepover. Is your point that some sneaky little bastard might be having fun under your nose?
Well, it also seemed to me from scanning the first several posts that most people were posting about daughters. I have two sons, ages 11 and 14. Honestly I do not believe that times have changed so much since I was a kid in terms of men in the home. But in terms of technology and what kids can be exposed to, and in terms of cameras and junk in cell phones...oh yes. A significant difference now.
My 11 year old recently planned an executed his own sleepover. I am not quite raising a "free range kid" but I do think it's very empowering for kids to manage things when possible. Once I gave the go-ahead for him to have a weekend for this, he wrote up invites, got the parents in touch with me, set up the basement with the air mattresses and everything. He rode his bike (with his brother) down to the Dollar Store with his own allowance and bought snacks and sodas. He set up a folding table in the basement with this stuff. He planned activities (a neighborhood Nerf and Squirt Gun War that ended up culminating in the park, and glow-stick tag just after dusk in our yard.) He had three friends, boys about his age, come over.
Aside from minor injuries sustained by over-exuberant wild boy activities (one kid cut his foot on something outside, he had no idea what...another lost a loose tooth...my boys shot each other with Nerf darts in the face, much drama, no lasting harm done) they had a great time. They all said it was the "best day ever" and "epic" and stuff like that.
My kids have gone out to sleepovers before, too. But it's always clear to everyone that if they want to come home early, for any reason or no reason, they can. I did have a parent of one of my son's friends once, who liked to pretty much assume that he could come to our house, whenever SHE wanted him to, and then she could just go shopping, or whatever. She treated us like on-demand servants for free daycare. There was no asking with her, she was demanding, and it was frequent. Yet she didn't trust my boys enough for her daughter to come over even for a couple hours for Birthday cake one day. I tried to accept her explanations that it was cultural (she was Hispanic) to keep the daughters away from boys, but seriously. The whole sitation got pretty offensive. And then we moved to another state and voila! no more problem.
It's a hard part of being a parent. Finding the right line to walk between letting kids have experiences and live life...and protecting them.
I have heard that bad things only happen when it's dark outside. And that all men are potential child predators. Oh and children are constantly meeting other potential predators online at night in other people's homes.
I have decided as an excellent parent that I'm going to keep my child in my home all day and night until they're ready for college at which point I will just make sure to call them constantly.
I have heard that bad things only happen when it's dark outside. And that all men are potential child predators. Oh and children are constantly meeting other potential predators online at night in other people's homes.
I have decided as an excellent parent that I'm going to keep my child in my home all day and night until they're ready for college at which point I will just make sure to call them constantly.
I think sometimes it's not just about predators, but what kind of inappropriate behavior you don't want you kid exposed to. Little boys can be uncouth wee monsters. Unsupervised, they need no kegs of beer to get just as insane as a pack of miniature frat boys. Or maybe I should make the opposite correlation, that drunken fratboys act like 12 year olds?
I heard a story about a boy in my son's school waking up at an unsupervised sleepover (parents home but generally not paying attention to what kids did in other rooms) to one of his "friends" dangling his junk over his face while another "friend" took cell phone pics. All the boys found the whole thing HILARIOUS. Now, as the only female in my house, I get that boys are...kinda gross. OK. I get it. They light farts on fire and things, or so I hear. But ya know? I don't want my kid to be that kid.
Don't get me wrong, like I said I do let my boys have sleepovers, and go to them...but there is a wee corner of my heart that, as a Mom, will always worry about what's going on. And it's not all just paranoia about the really, really bad stuff.
I think sometimes it's not just about predators, but what kind of inappropriate behavior you don't want you kid exposed to. Little boys can be uncouth wee monsters. Unsupervised, they need no kegs of beer to get just as insane as a pack of miniature frat boys. Or maybe I should make the opposite correlation, that drunken fratboys act like 12 year olds?
I heard a story about a boy in my son's school waking up at an unsupervised sleepover (parents home but generally not paying attention to what kids did in other rooms) to one of his "friends" dangling his junk over his face while another "friend" took cell phone pics. All the boys found the whole thing HILARIOUS. Now, as the only female in my house, I get that boys are...kinda gross. OK. I get it. They light farts on fire and things, or so I hear. But ya know? I don't want my kid to be that kid.
Don't get me wrong, like I said I do let my boys have sleepovers, and go to them...but there is a wee corner of my heart that, as a Mom, will always worry about what's going on. And it's not all just paranoia about the really, really bad stuff.
I think as parents we are supposed to worry. But there is a big difference between being aware and maybe a little worried and not letting your kids do anything. I agree with you that no one wants their kid in the position you mentioned but on the other hand you can't protect them from everything. My issue isn't with parents who aren't thrilled with letting their kids do stuff, it's with the parents who see evil everywhere and never let their children do anything for fear of everything.
My son (10) is either sleeping over at his friends or has his friend sleep over, probably two weekends every month. The first few times they stayed up late, but now they go to sleep pretty early. It's just nice having the other one there for breakfast and the rest of the day. Most often, they'll spend a second night, too.
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