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It's interesting that you brought up older brothers. My daughters' friend has three older brothers, and the parents frequently leave the little girl (age 8) in the care of them. It's not those three boys that I worry about (they're great kids), but when their friends start showing up, there are as many as 12-15 boys there with the little girl. That's worrisome. My girls don't sleep over there, but she sleeps over our house fairly often.
At age five, my daughters were only having sleepovers with cousins. The sleepover requests really kicked in at about 4th grade, but it's always the same couple of girls, and their moms and I talk all the time. If I know and am comfortable with the family, I give the go ahead. If I'm a little less sure, we have the first sleepover here.
Guns worry me too. I deal with that issue by bringing it up first. When kids are coming over to visit for the first time, I always tell the parents, "In case you were wondering, there are no firearms in our house. I know it's a difficult question to ask." That starts the conversation. So far, none of the families have had guns in the house. My BIL is a CO, and he has a gun for work, but he's probably more worried about the kids getting ahold of it than anyone else, so he makes sure to unload it and lock the gun and bullets separately when he gets home from work.
It's interesting that you brought up older brothers. My daughters' friend has three older brothers, and the parents frequently leave the little girl (age 8) in the care of them. It's not those three boys that I worry about (they're great kids), but when their friends start showing up, there are as many as 12-15 boys there with the little girl. That's worrisome. My girls don't sleep over there, but she sleeps over our house fairly often.
I wouldn't be comfortable with that either, but I don't see why teenaged boys are factor in whether or not a child is allowed to sleep at someone's house.
I wouldn't be comfortable with that either, but I don't see why teenaged boys are factor in whether or not a child is allowed to sleep at someone's house.
Yeah, I worded that weirdly. My girls would be allowed to sleep at her house if the parents were home, and the three teenage brothers wouldn't stop me. I'm comfortable with the family and their boys, but usually, the girls want to all stay here to get away from the boys. It's kind of like their house is the boy house and my house is the girl house.
My son has had sleep overs, with boys and girls, since he was 3. He's 5 now. BUT, we were good friends with all of the parents. I think as long as you KNOW the parents well and agree on rules sleep overs are GREAT!
I cried when my oldest daughter left on her first sleepover (with her cousin) at age 4... she didn't even look back when she got in the car ...lol. She's 16 now and we live 3 states away from all the cousins, so she doesn't spend the night anywhere very often. She did have many sleepovers when we were living closer. My youngest spends the night with her bff (here and over there)... we have guns in the house, but there are 2 college aged brothers in her house - so I haven't decided who should be more worried (sarcasm there btw) . The most interesting one is my son... he was very insecure when he was younger, so sleeping away from home was never an issue. Now days... he is either sleeping at someone else's house, or I have 1/2 dozen additional teenage boys at my house having a pizza / Xbox party on any given Saturday night. We even set up our huge tent for almost a month this summer and had a continuous slumber party in the front yard... I can definately connect with the poster who said she didn't know how many boys might be in the basement. I make jokes all the time about being the local 1/2 way house for all the boys on town.
I should add that we live in a small town and I work at the school - I know these boys and their families well enough to be comfortable with this. It has never occured to me to question these sleepovers or wonder if I should be uncomfortable... it has always seemed natural to have an open door for my children's friends.
I have a 9 year old and she does not like to stay in anyone else house but her own. But if she were to ask I would have to take it on an invididual basis I would have to know the family but she has had many many sleepovers at our house. Arts and crafts, movies, popcorn, games the usual. I
I guess we are close and lucky here. I'm a sahm, as are most of my 'hood moms, and I know them all. All the kids my kids play and sleepover with, I know and have a number for their moms. Lol
As for "trusted" friends and relatives, the stranger-danger is more fallacy than fact. In many cases, it's the "trusted" relative who is the culprit, simply because that individual is "trusted".
While we can't completely control all of our children's contacts, we can do our best to minimize the opportunities for a traumatizing, life-altering experience.
I guess we are close and lucky here. I'm a sahm, as are most of my 'hood moms, and I know them all. All the kids my kids play and sleepover with, I know and have a number for their moms. Lol
You realize this thread is 3 years old don't you?
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...lol. She's 16 now and we live 3 states away from all the cousins, so she doesn't spend the night anywhere very often. She did have many sleepovers when we were living closer. My youngest spends the night with her bff (here and over there)... we have guns in the house, but there are 2 college aged brothers in her house - so I haven't decided who should be more worried (sarcasm there btw) 
. The most interesting one is my son... he was very insecure when he was younger, so sleeping away from home was never an issue. Now days... he is either sleeping at someone else's house, or I have 1/2 dozen additional teenage boys at my house having a pizza / Xbox party on any given Saturday night. We even set up our huge tent for almost a month this summer and had a continuous slumber party in the front yard... I can definately connect with the poster who said she didn't know how many boys might be in the basement. I make jokes all the time about being the local 1/2 way house for all the boys on town.
