Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Wife's been out of the work force since 1999.
We have a D13, S10 and D4.
Next year, D4 will be going to full time school.
Wondering how everyone managed or decided to go to work and pay for the necessary child care arrangements.
Wife says that the amount she would make, over half is estimated to go to child care alone.
What's the issue?
Next year your oldest daughter will be 14 years old. A typical 14-yr-old should be capable of keeping watch over an 11 yr old and a 5 yr old for the couple hours between school ending and mom or dad getting home. Just make sure their afternoons are structured, and that either of you is available by phone. Also, pay the 14-yr old a bigger allowance for her watching your other two kids. At her age, I'm betting she wants extra money, and this is a very good way for her to get it and to learn responsibility in the process.
Next year your oldest daughter will be 14 years old. A typical 14-yr-old should be capable of keeping watch over an 11 yr old and a 5 yr old for the couple hours between school ending and mom or dad getting home. Just make sure their afternoons are structured, and that either of you is available by phone. Also, pay the 14-yr old a bigger allowance for her watching your other two kids. At her age, I'm betting she wants extra money, and this is a very good way for her to get it and to learn responsibility in the process.
Depends on what time the oldest gets home from school, it has been my experience that my hs students have always gotten out of school after my younger kids so there was a time lapse when there would be noone to watch the younger kids. Also depends on if the 14 yr old participates in sports. With limited info from the OP it can be difficult to give advice.
I have a couple of follow up question which are directly related to the OP's original question. How do you plan for vacation days? The kids get far more vacation days then I ever got when I was working. Do you get daycare for those days or are you able to take time off of work? I'd assume that it might be hard to get time off if you are working in an office with other parents who'd also want those same days off to be home with their kids. I'm also wondering if your vacation time would even be enough to be able to to take all of those days off. Also what do you do in the summer when they are on summer break? Do they go to daycare all day everyday?
I'm asking because these are the questions that pop into my head when I think about going back to work when my child is in school.
Even though some here might dismiss it - I looked at our daycare (and our school's, for the future) vacation schedule. Between myself and my husband we can use personal days and some vacation days to cover this - however, we are on slightly different vacation schedules. He is on a gov't contractor schedule (meaning, he gets a lot of random holidays that match up with schools, like MLK, veteran's, president's, etc). I get stuff like Christmas Eve, day after Thanksgiving, etc. So, those wouldn't count. However, for things like spring recess and midwinter break, one or the other of us will take off, probably alternating days so that it can't be construed as a burden of the company. For Christmastime, we should have enough time to be able to take off a week for vacationing - same with one other week during the year. However, neither of us are starting off with only 2 weeks vacation, which is something that a person who has been out of the workforce for so many years might have to cope with.
MC - reps to you, that would be exactly what I would plan on doing if I were in OP's situation.
Sundance - as I mentioned, you would be paying for childcare (I disagree about staying at home versus daycare being so much better, all of this was discussed in another thread however). You would also be getting money for the household, AND money towards retirement, AND possibly better medical benefits for your family. That's just a few benefits - obviously if every dime went towards childcare that would be a different issue.
I have a couple of follow up question which are directly related to the OP's original question. How do you plan for vacation days? The kids get far more vacation days then I ever got when I was working. Do you get daycare for those days or are you able to take time off of work? I'd assume that it might be hard to get time off if you are working in an office with other parents who'd also want those same days off to be home with their kids. I'm also wondering if your vacation time would even be enough to be able to to take all of those days off. Also what do you do in the summer when they are on summer break? Do they go to daycare all day everyday?
I'm asking because these are the questions that pop into my head when I think about going back to work when my child is in school.
I was wondering the same thing. After school daycare is one thing. But during the summer and vacations, it's all day. If she is having to get back into an entry level job that is low paying, then it might not be worth it.
My opinion, and just my opinion, is that if the net she makes isn't much after paying for day care, extra gas, work clothing (maybe), possibly a higher grocery bill or dining out because of time and energy when she gets home, it might not be worth it. There is value to having a life that can be a little less stressful on everyone because the evenings and weekends aren't filled with things she normally might do during the day.
I stopped working 17 years ago when I became pregnant with our son. I am lucky in that I have slowly built up a bookkeeping business of my own over the past few years, that I can do from home. How that happened is connections I made with people through my son's activities.... So there are things that can be done from home. It may take a while to build that up, but a few years down the road it might be worth the effort.
I have a couple of follow up question which are directly related to the OP's original question. How do you plan for vacation days? The kids get far more vacation days then I ever got when I was working. Do you get daycare for those days or are you able to take time off of work? I'd assume that it might be hard to get time off if you are working in an office with other parents who'd also want those same days off to be home with their kids. I'm also wondering if your vacation time would even be enough to be able to to take all of those days off. Also what do you do in the summer when they are on summer break? Do they go to daycare all day everyday?
I'm asking because these are the questions that pop into my head when I think about going back to work when my child is in school.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mercury Cougar
What's the issue?
Next year your oldest daughter will be 14 years old. A typical 14-yr-old should be capable of keeping watch over an 11 yr old and a 5 yr old for the couple hours between school ending and mom or dad getting home. Just make sure their afternoons are structured, and that either of you is available by phone. Also, pay the 14-yr old a bigger allowance for her watching your other two kids. At her age, I'm betting she wants extra money, and this is a very good way for her to get it and to learn responsibility in the process.
Quote:
Originally Posted by superk
Think of it this way:
1. Any work she does is building work experience. If anything ever happened to you she'd be more able to step up and take over supporting the family.
2. Double the amount of income going into your IRA's or 401K's.
3. If anything ever happened to her, and she became disabled, she'd be able to receive more from disability. The more you pay in over time the more you recieve when and if you need it.
4. Sometimes one spouse receives a better benefit package than the other. At least you'll have more options.
Quote:
Originally Posted by StarryEyedSurprise
I didn't think the question was "Can/Should my wife stay home?" I thought it was, "Can/Should my wife go back to work now that the kids are in FT school (usually 7.5-8 hours a day out of the house)?" I think I answered it pretty well - yes, of course she can manage it, though it would be easiest for everyone if she found a flex-time job. Obviously there is more to life than having a job - but at some point in your life, there is a life that YOU need to live for yourself and your future, not just for your kids, if your kids will be taken care of in a school environment for that much of the day. I think a good question would be, does she need to work? Does she want to work? If it is an issue of she needs to work, but doesn't want to... that's a whole 'nother can of worms. If she needs to work, but has misinformation on what she can earn, well... time to do research.
I'm sorry, but I can't get on the bandwagon of daycare being a horrible option, like some posters here (not you).
My current employer has been ok and I've been here 8 years. Salary has remained the same, and the increase comes from bonus ties to the performance of the product which has been ok.
I could try and find a higher paying job, but something in my current employer has been stable to address financial issues:
- I get 21 days (8 hours) personal time off a year now, on top of the 10 paid holidays. Short work days on the Friday before the holidays too 9am to 2pm.
- I'm flex time. Can work as early as 6am to 3pm, or as late as 10am to 7pm. So that's 8 hours +1 hour mandatory lunch. Except on Tuesday I work 9am to 6pm or as long as I stay until 6pm.
- 401k has a matching up to 33% now that I'm 8 years. 50% when I'm 12 years. That's matching up to the yearly max contributions. I'm fully vested now. Issue is, I can not afford to max the contribution.
- Work environment is relatively relaxed. Little stress except when there are deadlines. I am just tied here at least 9 hours a day + traffic commute from at least adding 1 hour a day.
The main issue is money, or that our finance savings are shrinking, and we've made corrections to spending, but not enough. So her generating income would help address pro-actively towards relieving the financial stress.
I projected 5 years for the last child with my sole income.
Expenses do go up, and my 5 year estimate is off. 3rd child just turned 4, we're still ok, but can not sustain this long term without a new income source, or more spending cut backs.
Wife has a BS in Computer Sci and Math, but will need some courses to get up to date if she want to pursue that. We also had a business where we both were Co-Administrators. I just want her to consider and update her job marketability now that later. She agrees, but at the same time feels tied down with the demands and needs of the kids. I help out as much with the house chores, but the actuals driving around and errands doe consume wife's time.
I think one of the main issue is the logistics of transporting the kids to school and back. D14 will be in a high school next year, so that's a separate and extra route. She will probably be driving by herself to help address this within 2 to3 years. I have an inherited V8 van (1990), a 1998 V6 suv I drive, and wife drives a 1998 v6 mini van. So I'm looking to sell the old 1990 for a used one that 1st child would drive.
One other option is that I find a 2nd work. But I'm not sure I can handle the mental drain doing coding for more than 12 hours a day. Nor working on a weekend. If I have too sure I would, but I enjoy my free time with the kids also.
From the other side of the coin....child care is my profession. In my area, rates are lower than many other places like California or Massachusetts, but higher than Arizona or Arkansas, as examples. However, as a simple guideline to start with, if I provided care for the OP's two younger children it would cost them approximately $7400 for a year with 2 weeks off for vacation.
*note that most child care providers do not allow for more than one week vacation and are still paid for all major holidays(and some smaller ones) and for all days whether or not the kids are in attendance, so it doesn't matter how much time off the parent can take, they will usually still be paying the provider.
So, if the mom only works part time or can only get a lower paying job she likely will end up with very little money left over after paying child care, health insurance and taxes.
As a parent you have to balance the money factor with the family factor as well. Will they be trading off being available to volunteer at the school, attending school functions during the day, being there when a child is sick without worry of losing pay/job, being able to allow the child to still participate in after school activities and so on in order to have some extra money?
Using an older sibling is not always a good idea. Each child would have to be capable of handling being home without adult supervision, not just the oldest. Provided the oldest one is even capable of doing the job and they can all get home from school safely, they may be able to consider this option. If the oldest has after school activities that would preclude them from being home with the younger ones, then that pretty much strikes the possibility. If the younger two need transportation to and from school and/or after school activities then that's another no-go. If one of the younger two has any type of special needs, no again.
There's lots more to consider besides just the money part....good luck to the OP's family in figuring out what works best for their family.
My current employer has been ok and I've been here 8 years. Salary has remained the same, and the increase comes from bonus ties to the performance of the product which has been ok.
I could try and find a higher paying job, but something in my current employer has been stable to address financial issues:
- I get 21 days (8 hours) personal time off a year now, on top of the 10 paid holidays. Short work days on the Friday before the holidays too 9am to 2pm.
- I'm flex time. Can work as early as 6am to 3pm, or as late as 10am to 7pm. So that's 8 hours +1 hour mandatory lunch. Except on Tuesday I work 9am to 6pm or as long as I stay until 6pm.
- 401k has a matching up to 33% now that I'm 8 years. 50% when I'm 12 years. That's matching up to the yearly max contributions. I'm fully vested now. Issue is, I can not afford to max the contribution.
- Work environment is relatively relaxed. Little stress except when there are deadlines. I am just tied here at least 9 hours a day + traffic commute from at least adding 1 hour a day.
The main issue is money, or that our finance savings are shrinking, and we've made corrections to spending, but not enough. So her generating income would help address pro-actively towards relieving the financial stress.
I projected 5 years for the last child with my sole income.
Expenses do go up, and my 5 year estimate is off. 3rd child just turned 4, we're still ok, but can not sustain this long term without a new income source, or more spending cut backs.
Wife has a BS in Computer Sci and Math, but will need some courses to get up to date if she want to pursue that. We also had a business where we both were Co-Administrators. I just want her to consider and update her job marketability now that later. She agrees, but at the same time feels tied down with the demands and needs of the kids. I help out as much with the house chores, but the actuals driving around and errands doe consume wife's time.
I think one of the main issue is the logistics of transporting the kids to school and back. D14 will be in a high school next year, so that's a separate and extra route. She will probably be driving by herself to help address this within 2 to3 years. I have an inherited V8 van (1990), a 1998 V6 suv I drive, and wife drives a 1998 v6 mini van. So I'm looking to sell the old 1990 for a used one that 1st child would drive.
One other option is that I find a 2nd work. But I'm not sure I can handle the mental drain doing coding for more than 12 hours a day. Nor working on a weekend. If I have too sure I would, but I enjoy my free time with the kids also.
Sounds like you have the perfect sort of job to allow for flex time, which can help accommodate your family's needs. You're probably correct in thinking that your wife will need to get back up to speed in order to compete in her area of study (I'm E.E. and Comp.E., myself). However, she might be able to do a lot of that sort of work from home if she has the free time - there's plenty of online classes, and her degree almost caters to online learning.
I will say that you sound taxed as it is - there is NO way that you should have to work 12 hour days and/or weekends in order to manage without tapping into your savings every month (though, if I were you I'd be tossing my resume around to find a better paying company if they are that stingy with raises - this worked out very well for my husband and myself). Your wife may very well feel intimidated by entering the workforce, considering she has some work to do beforehand, but it IS doable. With your schedule (and she definitely has the option to do flex time with her degree), you can try staggering your schedules to share the burden of running errands.
I really hope this works out for you. It's not fair if you have to put yourself in the position of having to never see your kids in order for your wife to stay home. I code as well, and aside from the stints of OT, the idea of staring at a computer screen for 12+ hours a day is just horrific - and your kids will suffer from not having their dad around. Good luck
That was my point. Working to pay someone else to take care of your child, when you can do it so much better, doesn't make much sense to me.
To each his own.....
Yes, but they don't always "do it so much better". I always had to be a working mom--would have loved to have a shot at staying home but I was never wealthy enough to do that. Because I got a lot of vacation time, I took days off to participate in some of the activities that other moms did. A couple of times I went to lunch after these events with a few stay-at-homes. I was appalled and disgusted at what these women did. They spent the lunch hour gossiping about the personal lives of the faculty and when they were done trashing them, they moved on to other mothers in town. It was obvious this wasn't their first time at it--it was their HABIT.
That's not being much better of a mother than a daycare. What the heck can these losers be teaching their kids by example if that's the kind of people they are? At least kids in daycare might have a shot at being exposed to people with good human values and better moral habits.
Yes, but they don't always "do it so much better". I always had to be a working mom--would have loved to have a shot at staying home but I was never wealthy enough to do that. Because I got a lot of vacation time, I took days off to participate in some of the activities that other moms did. A couple of times I went to lunch after these events with a few stay-at-homes. I was appalled and disgusted at what these women did. They spent the lunch hour gossiping about the personal lives of the faculty and when they were done trashing them, they moved on to other mothers in town. It was obvious this wasn't their first time at it--it was their HABIT.
That's not being much better of a mother than a daycare. What the heck can these losers be teaching their kids by example if that's the kind of people they are? At least kids in daycare might have a shot at being exposed to people with good human values and better moral habits.
Or on a lesser note... for someone who needs to fit in cleaning the house, cooking etc, while having no one else at home to take care of the kids... I've seen quite a few SAHMs who just park their kids in front of the TV for a few hours a day while they cook, clean, and rest. I don't think that is better than a daycare, IMO. However, I am sure there are SAHMs who do not let their kids watch TV. This however is part of why I chose a reputable daycare (even though it's pricey) over a nanny... no TV, regular activities, and people taking care of your child without being distracted by chores.
It does sound like the additional income could help you guys out. If I was faced with this decision, I would try to get a job with the school district, preferably at the 5 year old's school so that our schedules matched. Even with an advanced degree I would consider doing things such as working in the cafeteria, etc. Having the same days and hours off as my kids would be worth it and there would be no need to pay for daycare so even though the income would probably be small, it would all go to the family.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
You're probably correct in thinking that your wife will need to get back up to speed in order to compete in her area of study (I'm E.E. and Comp.E., myself). However, she might be able to do a lot of that sort of work from home if she has the free time - there's plenty of online classes, and her degree almost caters to online learning.
