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Get a real estate and a personal attorney to draw up wills, living wills, etc. You don't have to get married but make sure you are on the deed of the property as joint tenants with rights of survivorship. The house will go to you after he passes and vice versa.
Yes there are other ways but not sure they are far better than marriage. Marriage neatly bundles all the issues together into one package with one solution. The laws are very clear on what your rights and obligations are with a marriage. Besides that it is a social and emotional commitment with more meaning than a contract (verbal or written) would be. If I were the OP I would be worried if the BF is not willing to make the commitment.
That's fair - but I would rather be unmarried with all the proper legal documentation (wills, titles, life insurance, etc) than married with no additional protection.
I really don't know what I would talk to a lawyer about at this point. It just seems too soon. We don't live together now and don't have plans to. Doing so would mean one of us selling a house (or renting it out I suppose, but I won't do that. My parents were landlords once and it was horrible how their rental got trashed. It's not for me). This really is a few years off. I just like to think ahead because it helps me better with financial planning.
That's fair - but I would rather be unmarried with all the proper legal documentation (wills, titles, life insurance, etc) than married with no additional protection.
But if she's married, then those protections automatically kick in, unless the deceased has a prenuptial agreement or a will protecting the interests of the children. But even a will has to be ironclad in those situations.
The problem here is that the OP has zero protection whatsoever and, to make matters worse, will be giving up her career in order to accompany her boyfriend.
But if she's married, then those protections automatically kick in, unless the deceased has a prenuptial agreement or a will protecting the interests of the children. But even a will has to be ironclad in those situations.
The problem here is that the OP has zero protection whatsoever and, to make matters worse, will be giving up her career in order to accompany her boyfriend.
If we do end up marrying, I would insist on a prenup so he includes his kids in any inheritance. He should leave a lot to his kids. I think it would prevent a lot of heart ache (and I'd hope that I'd get to still be on good terms with them too). In short, a prenup would be the right thing to do.
If we do end up marrying, I would insist on a prenup so he includes his kids in any inheritance. He should leave a lot to his kids. I think it would prevent a lot of heart ache (and I'd hope that I'd get to still be on good terms with them too). In short, a prenup would be the right thing to do.
Good for you. I personally knew several men who remarried late in life (about 60, 65 & 75) and their children & grandchildren from their first marriages ended up with absolutely nothing (not even family heirlooms) and their step children ended up with everything.
In one case, the man had never even met his second wife's children and they got the entire estate (as the second wife inherited everything and then died shortly after her husband).
Good for you. I personally knew several men who remarried late in life (about 60, 65 & 75) and their children & grandchildren from their first marriages ended up with absolutely nothing (not even family heirlooms) and their step children ended up with everything.
In one case, the man had never even met his second wife's children and they got the entire estate (as the second wife inherited everything and then died shortly after her husband).
See, to me, that's just wrong. I have a pretty good relationship with his daughters (and I think they like me). I can't imagine screwing them over like that.
Wow all these posts about marriage as if it's some kind of panacea. Not everybody wants to get married, why is that so hard to understand? Marriage could actually bring in a whole new set of problems.
Seems to me that there are far better ways to protect yourself than getting married.
Sure, but as mentioned it takes a dozen different documents.
I just know about it because I helped a lesbian couple who were friends of mine with it. (I don't agree with their lifestyle, but that's their choice to make.) One had kids and her partner had NO standing in a health /hospital event.
Her estranged kids did.
1. Get married.
2. Have a lawyer draw up a will so he can say how he wants his assets divided up after he dies.
3. Have a lawyer draw up a living will in case he ever becomes incapacitated and needs someone to make medical decisions for him.
1. Don't get married
2. Have the man buy a house in his name and "rent" it to the woman while actually living with her.
3. Have children
4. Have the woman get fired from her job
5. Collect every government funded program possible for being a "single woman" with children renting a home
6. Have the man claim one of the children as a dependent, get big tax deductions.
7. Laugh at how you pretty much get $12,000 in tax deductions, $30,000 in government funds to be a stay at home mom and not have to pay $15,000 in child care. Its a $57,000 a year swing vs getting married, having children, working and having to pay for child care.
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