Unmarried couples who live together long term and future planning

[LowonLuck]

Originally Posted by ericp501

1. Don't get married
2. Have the man buy a house in his name and "rent" it to the woman while actually living with her.
3. Have children
4. Have the woman get fired from her job
5. Collect every government funded program possible for being a "single woman" with children renting a home
6. Have the man claim one of the children as a dependent, get big tax deductions.
7. Laugh at how you pretty much get $12,000 in tax deductions, $30,000 in government funds to be a stay at home mom and not have to pay $15,000 in child care. Its a $57,000 a year swing vs getting married, having children, working and having to pay for child care.

Have you tried this? I can assure you it does not work the way you describe. I had to have a job to even qualify for food stamps. Even only having $800 a month in unemployment income with a $1200 mortgage, I did not qualify for cash assistance. My kids aged out of daycare before I got off the wait list.

So please do share how to collect $57k, as that would be a significant raise for me.

[eddiehaskell]

I'd say save up and buy stuff in one person's name. By doing this, you will both be forced to buy stuff that each of you can afford individually. And if one person pays the mortgage, the other should offer to pay other bills like utilities/cable. If you break up in say 10 years, one person keeps paying on house (with some equity built up) and the other gets to leave debt free. Seems fair.

[oh-eve]

Draw up some legal documents.


Don't quit your job too early. You have never lived together, so what if you guys split up once there are the toothpaste arguments taking over?


I would move together, do the legal stuff and keep working. Work until you have a good chunk of savings (several years) and you feel still safe in the relationship. Then maybe marry and/or quit the job. Or work part time only.

[rjm1cc]

No experience but relationships fall apart and you are correct in wanting to make sure you make a good rational decision.

First question is would your Social Security benefits, health insurance and Pension (if any) income be higher if you were married. If it is and you need the income to carry on your life style I would lean toward marriage. I think you need to be married for 10 years to get his SS benefits at his death.

Married or not you do have decisions on how to leave your asset. A prenuptial agreement would be needed. Suggest this so their is no problem with the estate and ask your attorney to raise the more serious questions so you do not come off as the bad guy. Skipping this or before this step:

Another option would be to hire a financial planner (hourly basis) to review your retirement financial plans. This may point out problems that marriage will or will not solve. Also may show that you need to continue working for a while longer and postponing the move is a good idea. It might also show marriage is or is not a good idea from the financial side. At any rate you should end up with a financial plan to cover both of your for life.



What I am trying to say is that a third party maybe very helpful in identifying the problems and proposing possible suggestions.

[NancyDrew1]

Originally Posted by funymann

I read the gist of your concerns and I would encourage you two to get married.

This ^^^ If they were committed, they'd be married or engaged to be

Otherwise if it isn't heading that way, then I'd suggest breaking up