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The tipping system in the US makes no sense for numerous reasons, but as a response to the OP, I'll focus on one relevant aspect.
If OP orders a chicken dish and water to drink (with a couple of water refills), and his bill is $20, a 20% tip is 4 bucks. If he orders the ribeye with shrimp on top ($40), and 3 top-shelf martinis ($15 each), the bill could easily be $85 so the tip would be $17
Why does the server deserve a tip that is over four times as large, when it is no more work to carry ribeye and martinis versus chicken and water?
I don't know why other than the fact I'd feel like an ass for leaving a $4 tip on an $85 bill.
I don't know why other than the fact I'd feel like an ass for leaving a $4 tip on an $85 bill.
That's only because we know it's not the socially acceptable thing to do. It doesn't mean that you truly believe that the server deserves a $17 tip. No server has really ever done anything that I personally think is worth more than a $5 tip, but I follow the 20% rule regardless.
So one off incidents with most assuredly not a confrontation about a tip but rather an inquiry about how the service was?
Every situation is different. I haven't personally witnessed all of these situations. But yes, most of them involve asking the customer why they didn't tip more. If there is a reason. And sometimes if the customer can't give a valid reason, in some cases the manager will say "don't come back here." It would probably happen even more often but most customers walk out right after they pay their bill.
Also, I'm not sure why living on social security "fixed" income means someone can't tip. How is that different from a young, poor person who gets no income from any source? Lots of people have financial struggles. They choose to either dine out and pay, or eat at home.
You've probably never seen that because you tip well enough that you don't get confronted. But I have friends who have worked as servers and told me this happens (confrontations) and I've had a friend this happened to when she only left a 10% tip at an upscale restaurant. I'm not saying every restaurant does it but it does go on. Usually they will ask if something was wrong with the service. If a tip wasn't left they want to know why.
I saw that happen once... it was on the Soprano's and it didn't end well for the server.
If your budget is X, you order food where price + gratuity = X. It's not complicated.
If you don't want to tip, don't tip. It's not required. But if you want validation and reassurance that it's fine to order dishes that are so expensive that you cannot afford to properly tip, well, you're not going to get it from me.
Have to agree. You don't seem to quibble about going to an expensive place and treating yourself to an expensive meal, yet claim penury over the tip for serving it to you? Go out less often or go to more modest places and tip that minimum wage earner fairly.
Last edited by Parnassia; 10-15-2018 at 12:49 PM..
I'd rather see a flat price without tipping, but mostly I stay out of restaurants. If you don't have a kitchen, that would be a complication, but most fast food places have some sort of salad or something healthy enough.
Go ask someone who works in an expensive restaurant how they feel about this? Guaranteed they are against it.
Also, I'm not sure why living on social security "fixed" income means someone can't tip. How is that different from a young, poor person who gets no income from any source? Lots of people have financial struggles. They choose to either dine out and pay, or eat at home.
That "retiree fixed income" excuse is stale and tired. When you were working and being paid a specific salary or hourly wage wasn't that also a fixed income? If you lived off assets, rents, some sort of allowance weren't they fixed over some period of time? It doesn't matter what form the income arrives in. You still have to live within your means. Short changing someone else because you claim retirement is no better than short changing them because you can't stick to a budget.
Last edited by Parnassia; 10-15-2018 at 12:37 PM..
That "retiree fixed income" excuse is stale and tired. When you were working and being paid a specific salary or hourly wage wasn't that also a fixed income? If you lived off assets, rents, some sort of allowance weren't they fixed over some period of time? It doesn't matter what form the income arrives in. You still have to live within your means. Short changing someone else because you claim retirement is no better than short changing them because you can't stick to a budget.
I totally agree.
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