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I am not selfish. Parents are actually altruistic to a certain point because as you say life without children is cheaper and simpler. Even if parents do receive certain benefits, most of the expenses associated with children are paid by the parents themselves.
It's selfish to have other people pay for your children - hell not even admitting that's wrong.
It's selfish to want to pass on your gene at the expense of others.
It's selfish to populate already over populated earth.
It's selfish to have other people pay for your children - hell not even admitting that's wrong.
It's selfish to want to pass on your gene at the expense of others.
It's selfish to populate already over populated earth.
Personally the way I feel is the only really important thing I've done in life is raise my kids. Having kids at a young age did force me to continually seek better job/income for 30 years and led to me becoming well off today. Would I have been better off without kids, not sure but I tend to think I would have been even more selfish and lived a life of selfishness had I not had kids. Maybe in some ways it would have been more rewarding without kids but overall, there's no way my life would have been better childless.
Great stuff
Me too . . . I didn't ask for it, my Son was an "UH Oh, wTf?!?!?"
I was much like the OP.
Drink every night, smoke dope, do all the stuff people in their early 20's do, excessively.
After talking myself out of jumping off the nearest bridge, it was time to grow up, learn responsibility. I was a single Dad, so two people had to grow up. In the end, I became a better person. If there was no "uh oh" moment, I would probably be like the people I feel sorry for now . . . Almost 60 years old and still hanging out in bars and acting like its 1980. No thanks . . .
I don't quite understand why people can be so selfish.
That's not an answer. What's your alternative a la carte tax system vs what we have in the US? How would it work with roads? National parks? Disability? Military forces?
And have you refused every tax benefit that doesn't benefit everyone equally? I assume you're not selfish.
They're still little, but they crack me up all the time.
One of my relatives adopted a baby (a girl) from another country as a single mom. My relative had and has 'all of her ducks in a row'.....and then some (to a degree I still find astounding). I've never been married, don't have any kids, and previously had an attitude that was a much less extreme version of the OP's attitude. Still, I wanted to be as much a part my relative's adventure as possible. I have and have mostly had a very blessed life with many wonderful experiences of many different types. I got to spend a tremendous amount of quality time with my little relative, her friends, and their parents during those 'kids say the darndest things' years (ages 3-8). So many wonderful moments during those years...they top all of the other wonderful moments/experiences in my life. "They crack me up all the time" fits those years perfectly. I still chuckle when one of those memories pops into my head. One of the greatest things about the time now (after those years) is seeing little kids interact with their parents in a retail store, or in a line somewhere. Sometimes some little part of what is in front of me in such situations just cracks me up, and makes my day.
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We also had to seriously clean up our acts. I believe in leading by example, so out went all the bad stuff.
The mom in my paragraph above....exact same attitude you and your spouse have...and she successfully executed the transition as well.
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I haven't eaten so many vegetables since I was a kid!
Years ago, a different relative and I were helping ourselves to seconds at a family holiday dinner. He said to me "Now I can eat whatever I want". He could see I had a puzzled look on my face after this comment. He then explained his comment. He and his wife have two daughters. At that time, the oldest was a freshman in college, and the youngest was a junior in high school. he said that when the oldest was born, he felt he had to set a good example...so, among other things, he took up running and changed his diet...especially eating more vegetables. A few months before the abovementioned family holiday dinner, he came to the conclusion that whatever effect he was going to have on the eating habits of his daughters was already ingrained, so he gave himself permission to be less strict re his diet.
I don't quite understand why people can be so selfish.
Oh, the irony.
When I sent my kids to Catholic school do you think it reduced my property taxes with a deduction for the money going into the public school, which accounted for the largest chunk of my bill? Nope, and I was happy to be a contributing member to society even though my tax bills are on the list of 'highest in the nation'.
You act like someone is going into your wallet and taking money that is yours. They aren't. Every job provides benefits. As I, and others, have pointed out, many times leaves are unpaid - or they're paid until the person runs out of their vacation days / personal days.
If you end up with some catastrophic disease causing the entire group rate to go up, shouldn't YOU be on the hook for the thousands instead of healthy old ME and everyone else?
With your way of thinking, the answer should be yes.
People always have opinions and you know what they say: opinions are like ... puppies... everyone wants to give one away. (I'm trying to keep it rated G for city-data. I've gotten in enough trouble on these forums, lately.)
Whenever someone tries saying something to be about not having children, I just end the conversation and walk away. People will always view me as a sinner for not being fruitful or whatever the bible says, or selfish or whatever... that's their problem. What others think of you is their problem.
after we have enough financial stability (a house paid off in full, zero debt, at least $250K saved up after all that, both keeping high salary jobs).
^^^^^ Kudos to you. I wish more prospective parents had this attitude.....many fewer problems would exist in the world.
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That, and I need time to mentally prepare myself to have a throbbing alien embedded inside me growing and growing until it bursts out the genitalia tearing and clawing and hissing and bleeding whilst in screaming agony for 48 hours and be left looking like my innards have been jammed through a woodchipper.
And after all that virtually satanic torment, to be cursed to never be allowed to sleep again without relentlessly piercing shrieks every 15 minutes 24/7 being a fact of life for years to come.
If your husband truly loves you, he will love you all the more after going through this ^^^^^ .
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Years ago, a different relative and I were helping ourselves to seconds at a family holiday dinner. He said to me "Now I can eat whatever I want". He could see I had a puzzled look on my face after this comment. He then explained his comment. He and his wife have two daughters. At that time, the oldest was a freshman in college, and the youngest was a junior in high school. he said that when the oldest was born, he felt he had to set a good example...so, among other things, he took up running and changed his diet...especially eating more vegetables. A few months before the abovementioned family holiday dinner, he came to the conclusion that whatever effect he was going to have on the eating habits of his daughters was already ingrained, so he gave himself permission to be less strict re his diet.
If your husband truly loves you, he will love you all the more after going through this ^^^^^ 
