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My wife can remember her mother telling her sister who was followed home by a man in his 40's she was 17 it was because she wearing shirt that was too tight. Another time my wife said her father owned a business a woman who worked for him showed up with a black eye her mother said, "She must have done something" like it was her fault. Not always men who blame woman for being treated this way.
so true. and i agree with the post below that a woman should be able to walk around naked and not be harmed in any manner.
the blame for any assault belongs on the one committing the crime, not the victim.
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Originally Posted by 11thHour
Nope. A woman could walk completely naked through a male prison. Should she be raped I wouldn't place one shred of blame in her lap. The attacker alone is responsible for his actions.
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Originally Posted by mtl1
Would any ladies like to have a drink ?
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Originally Posted by katygirl68
Lol
i will buy, as long as it is things like 7up, or tea, or something non alcoholic.
Women have the duty to report any kind of harassment or assault WHEN it happens, not many years later! The fact is that anybody can play a victim, but there has to be sufficient evidence. The longer a person waits to report an attack, the lesser the evidence will be, and the claim is all the less credible.
As in, we're tucked into a quiet corner, we're already being mutually handsy, etc.
People you are intimate with are people you tend to put your hands on. If they don't like it, they usually say so and you stop if you're a reasonable person.
You're not sexually assaulting someone if you're already intimate with them, they seem to be open to being touched, you touch them, find out they're not, then you quit touching them.
There are established rules for people who are already in a relationship... did I really need to explain this?
That's disturbing.
Chicken or the egg?
Someone obviously has to make the first move. Contact doesn't just happen (though physics ain't my strong suit so I could be mistaken).
Point is unless consent is contractually given all first moves are potential "unwanted sexual advances".
Women have the duty to report any kind of harassment or assault WHEN it happens, not many years later! The fact is that anybody can play a victim, but there has to be sufficient evidence. The longer a person waits to report an attack, the lesser the evidence will be, and the claim is all the less credible.
Some are too traumatized to report or fear they won’t be believed it matters not even if they report right away
She should have a concealed weapon and be trained to use it. Most creeps will keep johnny in the the trousers when looking down the muzzle of a handgun.
And if this assault happens during the course of a relationship, the woman really should be a better judge of character and do her due diligence before the fact. Trust no one. Some women I have known run a background check before they will even strike up anything past the casual acquaintance stage. In this day and age, that's pretty smart.
Someone obviously has to make the first move. Contact doesn't just happen (though physics ain't my strong suit so I could be mistaken).
Point is unless consent is contractually given all first moves are potential "unwanted sexual advances".
We have a solution for this foolishness in the kink community. Ask first. Before you touch someone, ask. Even a friendly hug. The way I usually do it, is to face my friend, extend my arms, make eye contact and pause for a moment, which is a non-verbal "ask" because they can in that moment easily hold up a hand or say, "No thanks, not today."
We have people who literally suffer extreme days of social anxiety to the point where they do not want to be touched in any way, by anyone. We do not make assumptions. If we can do this with a friendly hug, then people can damn sure communicate before they have sex. And given the real life possible consequences of sex, to your health and wellbeing, you probably should be communicating.
So no, all first moves are NOT "unwanted sexual advances." Not if you know how to use your words.
Thing is, all this talk about clothing and carrying mace and guns and car keys and what-not, is presuming that most rape is the old "rapist jumps out of a bush, pulls victim into alley" type. Stranger Danger. Just like being mugged.
When in fact an awful lot, probably most, rape is nothing like that. It's that girl who got roofied or plied with strong drink at a party until she could not consent. It's the time you agreed to go on a drive with a date and they got way too handsy even when you said no and squirmed away uncomfortably. It's a step-parent, an older relative, a teacher or a priest. It is someone you gave an inch of trust, and they took a mile and assaulted you. It's usually not a complete stranger.
It's all the times that someone said "No" and the other person heard, "Try harder to convince me."
Which, again, is why I prefer the term "consent violation" rather than "rape" in discussing this matter. We have too much of a defined idea of what rape is, that does not account for a lot of other circumstances where someone's consent has been violated.
I have never grabbed some dude's crotch at a bar unless we were intimate and he was willing.
Jesus.
Guess what? I never grabbed a woman inappropriately either. That's the point-those that commit sexual assault are criminals-not your average individuals.
She should have a concealed weapon and be trained to use it. Most creeps will keep johnny in the the trousers when looking down the muzzle of a handgun.
And if this assault happens during the course of a relationship, the woman really should be a better judge of character and do her due diligence before the fact. Trust no one. Some women I have known run a background check before they will even strike up anything past the casual acquaintance stage. In this day and age, that's pretty smart.
That's every bit as true for men, and about crimes other than sexual assault. I know several that have mentally unstable women destroy their property, vandalize their cars or make false accusations. "Due diligence" is a good practice for everyone.
Coming back the point-people have the right to dress or say whatever they want-without being physically assaulted. A woman can go alone to a party of drunk football players wearing a bikini and get ***-faced, and if she gets assaulted, it is not her fault. Just as someone can go through downtown Harlem (or wherever, I understand it's pretty gentrified these days) with a sign saying "I hate Ni**ers" and it's their right-(Die Hard II anyone) and it's not his fault for any assault. The fault of belongs on whoever initiates violence on someone else.
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