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Old 04-23-2007, 08:54 PM
 
1,501 posts, read 5,681,852 times
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Have a sister in those shoes, but believe it goes much deeper than your (normal) state of mind :>) (she's extremely insecure, I reckon)
Turns to me the other day with the usual scrutinizing stare, says: "You don't like shopping, buying clothes, do you."
Nope. More fun shopping for others. Not really fun, really more like an ordeal unless I'm psyhed for something special.

"Well I like nice clothes." (Yes, you remind us every single day.)
And, just incase we hadn't heard her the first four times, the fifth time prompted a "Different strokes for different folks" just to end it already (ignoring just fuels her.)
Perhaps the most civil words exchanged this year!

Her every breath, aside from complaining about job she hates, regards something she's bought, is buying, intends to buy. Same broken record. Every single day.
Truly feel sorry for her.
Growing up around materialistic people like her has turned me off from accumulating things.
Have extra money, give it away...
Have actually obtained more than money can buy. (Answered prayers, and physical evidence to back a couple up)
Millionaire without money. Can't buy those "unexplainable coincidences" and gazillion to one encounters ...

Look for them, they're there (or going to be). Won't care about cars and stuff so much then Give a lottery number to a stranger when a spontaneous number pops into your brain, don't tell anyone else, and don't play it yourself. Believe it. Really believe it. Then watch it be drawn within 4 days --if not that day. Try it.
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Old 04-23-2007, 09:03 PM
jco
 
Location: Austin
2,121 posts, read 6,452,764 times
Reputation: 1444
It's funny. I feel like this a lot, but my husband rarely does. I moved almost every year as a child, and my husband lived in two houses until the age of twenty. I think this has something to do with it. For me, the only thing that has changed is to meditate on what God says in the Bible about being content. As Jim Elliot says, "Wherever you are, be all there."
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Old 04-23-2007, 09:09 PM
 
3,049 posts, read 8,909,633 times
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i blame it on SIN: greed, ego, lust, envy, jealousy, impatience, a need for something you dont have to have.

people fed a steady diet of pap from the media-more is better, jobs are suppose to make you feel better, you need this you want that, and sheepish population of people who act as if they cant think for themselves.

all you have to do is observe high school kids, all wanting to fit in, even going against the values and teachings of their family, religion and even their own feelings just to fit in with the crowd, then you will see how people get sucked into a life of sin
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Old 04-23-2007, 09:14 PM
 
206 posts, read 939,106 times
Reputation: 100
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hoosier_guy View Post
I have a nice house in a good neighborhood. I have two great cars. I have food in the cupboards, refrigerator and freezers.

If the above is so true, what am I so unsatisifed? I want more! I want a bigger house with a private bathroom for my wife and I. My cars are fine, paid off and in great condition, but I'd love a new truck! I would love to have my very own truck. And food, we have so much food, yet there is never anything to eat so I head out the door to pick up food at a local restaurant.

While the above is true about me, why is this so prevalent in the American society today? Why are we so obsessed with bigger is better. Give me more stuff! I blame it on effective marketing and advertising. You'll note in another thread that I am in the marketing field.

I blame it on living in suburbia and having all the conveniences at our fingertips. When I was away from the city for a few days I didn't think about all the "stuff" I wanted (not needed). No billboards screaming at me to buy this product or watching tv and being with restaurant ads, new toys for me.

I'm tired of wanting and buying things. It's exhausting! No really, have you ever felt mentally exhausted when you don't have what you think you should have?

Have you ever felt this way before?

Thankfully not since my early 20s!!!! I realized stuff is stuff, not happiness. I'm lucky to have figured it out in my mid-20s. Studying Buddhism helped greatly in that realization. Unfortunatley most Americans are constantly trying to buy their happiness. I'm very fortunate both my husband and I share this view and are passing it on to our daughter. And yes, I'm very happy!!!!
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Old 04-23-2007, 09:34 PM
 
Location: Twin Cities
3,570 posts, read 8,721,384 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jco View Post
It's funny. I feel like this a lot, but my husband rarely does. I moved almost every year as a child, and my husband lived in two houses until the age of twenty. I think this has something to do with it. For me, the only thing that has changed is to meditate on what God says in the Bible about being content. As Jim Elliot says, "Wherever you are, be all there."
I so understand you! I moved every two years and my wife moved once as a child. I have come to understand the verse about being a visitor, alien and stranger here. I know it's out of context, but when you're always the new kid in school, you really understand...and just when you're making friends, it's time to leave and move elsewhere.

I don't want that stuff anymore. I'm content in who I am, but those things do come back from time to time. Things really don't mean much. I learned that when I was lying on a table in the hospital 2 years ago. They thought I was having a heart attack at age 38. It was scary...but only because I realized where I was putting my time and energy...into stuff. Gaining those ever popular "world possessions"! Bad thing is you have to leave them all here when your time is up. And someone else gets all the "stuff" you worked so hard to get.
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Old 04-23-2007, 09:41 PM
 
Location: By the sea, by the sea, by the beautiful sea
68,330 posts, read 54,411,082 times
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In the Forbes Building in NYC there are galleries of some of Malcolm Forbes 'stuff', toy boats, toy soldiers, etc.

One of my favorite exhibits is a case of trophies, awards, engraved silver trays, etc. It's been a while and I can't remember the exact words but in the case there is a little plaque that says something to the effect of:

" All these objects that someone at sometime thought were important? We got them all at pawn shops and flea markets"

I think the room should be called "The Valuable Lesson Room"
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Old 04-23-2007, 10:04 PM
 
7,784 posts, read 14,890,225 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by burdell View Post
In the Forbes Building in NYC there are galleries of some of Malcolm Forbes 'stuff', toy boats, toy soldiers, etc.

One of my favorite exhibits is a case of trophies, awards, engraved silver trays, etc. It's been a while and I can't remember the exact words but in the case there is a little plaque that says something to the effect of:

" All these objects that someone at sometime thought were important? We got them all at pawn shops and flea markets"

I think the room should be called "The Valuable Lesson Room"
Since we don't get agree very often, I thought I'd take the opportunity.

GREAT POST!
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Old 04-23-2007, 10:23 PM
 
30,902 posts, read 33,013,051 times
Reputation: 26919
Hoosier, I don't think what you're feeling is such a sin. At least not the way you explained it.

I think you may be having an "instincts going awry" moment. Instinct tells us to get as much as we can, as quickly as we can, and even to get excess, but not because of greed. It's because inwardly we're feeling some sort of fear of something, and instinct tells us, "What if that fear means we're about to run into trouble? What if it's a flood coming? A famine? What if there's a competing tribe in the area that wants to take my stuff?" So often, the reaction to unnameable stresses is to "gather more stuff".

You'll see this a lot in the cliche of a woman who says, "I feel terrible about (such and such)...hey...I'll go shopping!"

(I hate that one, BTW, being a woman who despises shopping, but I couldn't think of anything better off the cuff.)

I think you might want to ask yourself whether you're afraid of anything right now, or concerned about anything. Is anything in your life about to change? Is something making you feel really unsettled? This *could* in that case just be a stress reaction. You speak of the nice things you do have. Do you have an inward fear that they'll suddenly go away?

I just don't see a lot out of you that says "Naked bold-faced do-anything-to-get-it greed". That's why I put forth these questions. Also because Freud is dead and SOMEBODY has to jump in. Just kidding.

We are always so quick to blame ourselves and to chastise ourselves, and okay, sure, maybe sometimes we ARE doing wrong things and it's good to give ourselves that little wakeup call. But not every single time. Sometimes we need to give ourselves the benefit of a doubt before indicting ourselves and throwing away the key. I just don't see you as a rabid seething sinner, Hooser...LOL. I don't always agree with you, being a heathen and all, but I don't see from your words a single vindictive bone in your body...so maybe give yourself a pass this one time.
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Old 04-24-2007, 12:53 AM
 
Location: Not on POW Anymore :)
366 posts, read 387,081 times
Reputation: 140
To take it a little further than JerZ did, I think that we're hard wired anthropologically to amass stuff. We aren't that far from our hunter/gatherer ancestors and stuff meant survival to them. I know that I feel more at ease when my cupboards are full. By the same token I'm not terribly at ease when stuff starts to take over.

Somewhat recently I lost pretty much all my stuff; it burned, and the flight or fight reaction that resulted in that was what I found more exhausting than most things I've experienced. Still, at the end of the day, it's my son's baby book and the photographs of my grandmother that I regret losing most.
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Old 04-24-2007, 01:16 AM
 
Location: Las Vegas
14,229 posts, read 30,041,460 times
Reputation: 27689
I used to have a lot of stuff. I got rid of most of it and I'm glad. It got to the point where I was serving the stuff instead of the stuff serving me so out it went! It's so much easier to dust and clean without all the clutter.

I donated tons of stuff to local charities. And threw away a lot too! Life without 40 small kitchen appliances still goes on. All the clothes in my closet fit. All my shoes are wearable. I have more free time now and the whole experience was liberating.

I find I buy much less now. If I don't want to dust it, it stays at the store! What finally taught me my lesson was all my mom's stuff. I swear she never threw ANYTHING away. She had clothes that predated WWII. It just made no sense. My collecting days are gone. I take joy in simplifying my life.
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