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I do want things...nice things. I guess wouldn't everyone truly like nice things, versus not-so-nice things?
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I don't think the problem is wanting things, the problem is believing 'things' are somehow going to fundamentally change your life.
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I am not a good person to really answer these kinds of questions about consumerism nor material objects. I honestly just don't feel that way -- I never felt that way, and I did not have to try to convince myself to be a certain way, so I just never dealt with this issue on a personal level.
Nice things are okay, I guess -- I mean, things look nice and stuff, and it's nice to be in a pretty place indoors. I am not the kind of person who really looks at things and sees "nice," or "not so nice." I'm kind of blind to that stuff. Oh, if I go into a house and it's totally trashed, well, obviously I'll notice that. But I really don't always notice what people have, and I don't know famous brand names, nor do I read magazines or watch tv commercials about the biggest and best. I didn't even get a television until I was 38!! I just never watched it -- I only got one when my dad visited me in Colorado and was shocked that I didn't own a tv, and he went out and got me one. I didn't get cable until last year when all the television stations were no longer transmitting where I live -- I had to break down for that because I do like to see the news, and a few other things. I just went without a lot of that for absolutely decades. I don't even own a cell phone!
I also never got into curtains, and cars and all of that. I live in a country-style home in the woods. It's fine for me. I have a big yard and a dog and three cats. I have a great 17-year-old daughter who is responsible, generous and an honor student, and we actually enjoy hanging out together -- although she understands that I am her mother, and her peers are her friends.
I rarely look at any magazines that promote fashion, have photoshopped models, and try to sell all those cosmetics, clothes, and jewelry. I am rarely influenced by advertising (unless I'm comparison shopping for something) -- I just have my own style of acquiring things.
So, I guess that I already know that fundamentally that they are not going to change my life -- or my basic personality. Oh, sure, it'd be nice to have more money because being a single parent is very, very difficult and expensive for one person on a lower income. Yet, I do own my own home, I am very good at budgeting, I love to cook and cook most things from scratch, and I'm pretty good at finding deals. I only use credit cards for emergencies -- I never used them for restaurants or clothes or things like that.
My daughter doesn't even get an allowance, and she is in the process of looking for a part-time job. I realize that I am the anomaly in the typical U.S. population, but that's okay with me because most of my friends have similar values. I truly do not have those feelings of wanting bigger and better things -- I would much rather spend money on a trip someplace or for an experience. In my mind (as strange as it can be), I take to heart that I cannot take objects with me when I die, although my experiences and interactions with others will. I also know that when I reflect on my favorite times that I've had over my life, I cannot think of one time that an object received or bought is involved. My memories of good things come from my various friends, things we did together, times with my daughter, travels I've had, seeing new things. Most of anything I can think of that I sincerely treasure has to do with an experience, not an object.
But that is just me. I'm not any goody two shoes, it just really is how I am. Now, of course, I would not fit in well with people who are achieving so hard to get things -- like my sister is difficult for me to deal with because I just cannot relate to the desperate need to acquire things, and she, in turn, can't understand or tolerate well my lack of desire to do so.
I have a comfortable home, I eat good food, I do appreciate exploring nature and cities, and I love just hanging out and laughing. I wish I could pay off my bills more easily, but fortunately I don't get into debt beyond my necessities because I'm not prone to do that.
I think that each person is different and what makes one person happy is different from another. However, I do think it is good in the end to realize that objects are limited, they won't go with you when you die, and what you leave behind in terms of your family, friends, and other personal interactions will live much longer in the hearts of others than mundane objects.
So, I think we kind of drift to our own kinds of people and friends. People who are into achieving a lot of things probably would not be comfortable with me, and those whose self-worth is defined by what they own, I don't feel comfortable with. On the flip side, not all wealthy people show their wealth.
I have known a number of millionaires on a personal level, however, they were more the millionaires next door -- they don't flaunt it (even those who are well-known), they are generous, and usually they have some strong spiritual side that seems to be more important to them. Having money to them is often a side effect of a business that happened to get big by surprise, or a large inheritance, or some other serendipitous reason. Money is merely icing on the cake. But again, I am from a different generation when money wasn't the goal, it was the effect of efforts in fields that people were in just because they wanted to be there. Many people of my generation are still hippies at heart, even if they are not hippies now. Maybe it's a generational thing -- I don't know.
Anyway, that is part of my story. I'm sure others have better things to add, because I don't think I'm doing so well at explaining myself on this topic.
Thanks!!
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Yes, it is a foo-foo coffee drink from Starbucks. It's way too expensive, but I treat myself occassionally. It's chocolate, espresso, milk and peppermint flavoring. I love peppermint and it is the only kind I will get. I do enjoy coffee.
