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Wanting your very own truck is NOT bad. Wanting a bigger, nicer home, is NOT bad. Eating take-out more often than you'd like is NOT bad. Frankly, I get tired of the great American stereotype of 'consumerism is bad' and 'Americans are greedy - look how much they have to have to be happy! They're soooo superficial.'
Everybody has to be better than every body else in one way or another, be it how much money they make and how they flaunt it, how educated they are, how intelligent they are, how spiritually aware they are...the list goes on.
The way we measure ourselves against others is, to me, the real culprit, and it has nothing to do with any of those things, nor is it unique to Americans. IMHO, there is nothing wrong with having nice things, as long as you don't put them above your character and integrity in order to obtain them, and I don't think that's your goal here.
I suggest you make a plan to create these things you want. Will you enjoy your life less if you don't have them? I don't think so, but you don't even have them now and you're 'mentally exhausted' over it. I don't even think you're mentally exhausted over wanting it - I think you're mentally exhausted over the guilt of wanting it. There are a number of people that have posted in this thread that are directly or indirectly supporting that line of thought (funny how pervasive that is), and that has nothing to do with suburbia, marketing, or advertising. Marketing and advertising don't make choices for us - they let us know what are choices are, wrapped in a pretty package.
I think you should have some fun with it! Shop around online for your truck (I like being able to 'design' your own car online). Pick up a house plans magazine and consider your possibilities. Be enthusiastic and make some reasonable plans to reach your goals. Just having a goal or working toward a change can be a very positive force in your life.
You have life so that you could live it and enjoy it! We weren't meant to live in a cardboard box because others might think we're greedy consumers and don't know the true meaning of life. You never said you were unhappy with what you have, or that you don't appreciate it, or that you want to keep up with the Jones'. You have a fundamental right as a human being to live your life as you see fit. Blame capitalism for that line of thinking, too.
I would rather be financially secure than have more/bigger/better stuff than the Joneses.
I often say I don't want to buy another 'thing'.
I do like to travel and take classes. I will sometimes go to the new trendy restaurant. But I only buy clothes on trips (a great souvenir), drive a 1995 pickup ( I also have my Daddy's 66 Mustang).
I have several paid-off houses (rentals) and will have all of them paid off in the next 4-5 years. I'm 49 and I find other things more important than impressing people.
A lot of it has to do with where you live. Suburban conformity can be brutal.
Interesting thread. Gosh, Hoosier_Guy, I wouldn't have taken you to be desiring all those things -- I'm surprised.
Growing up I was given so much stuff. My parents gave me and my siblings everything they didn't have. I became extremely materialistic. Whatever the newest, latest greatest was, I HAD to have it. And I am not blaming my parents. It is my fault, not theirs.
Before credit cards I worked my tail off for it. But then came the plastic. It was a downward spiral for me. I now refuse to use plastic unless it's my debit card. I do not like the effects it has had on me and the family. I am working with my wife to help curb her shopping desires and using the credit.
I do want things...nice things. I guess wouldn't everyone truly like nice things, versus not-so-nice things?
While I would love to have all those things I mentioned, I can't in good conscience go out and buy them. I'd rather spend my money on paying the bills, spending time at waterslide parks with the family and putting my kids in sports that they enjoy.
This is all a process for me. I'm just trying to make the best financial decisions for my family and hoping I can still give my kids some great things without giving too much. The only "thing" I plan on giving them too much of is ME, and my love.
Did you ever hear the story about the little 5 year old girl who gave her daddy a beautifully wrapped present? It was gold foil paper with a big bow on the top. The little girl beamed as he opened it. When the dad looked in the box there was nothing in it. Angry, he yelled at her that they didn't have enough money and why was she wasting the good wrapping paper on a box with nothing in it. Tears beginning to roll down her cheek, she said "but daddy, it is full. I blew kisses in there for you daddy." The father broke down in tears and hugged his precious little girl.
Wanting your very own truck is NOT bad. Wanting a bigger, nicer home, is NOT bad. Eating take-out more often than you'd like is NOT bad. Frankly, I get tired of the great American stereotype of 'consumerism is bad' and 'Americans are greedy - look how much they have to have to be happy! They're soooo superficial.'
Stereotype? Consumerism IS our culture. You can't watch television for more than 5 minutes without being immersed. You can't drive more than 5 miles without being immersed. You can't read 5 pages of your newspaper without being immersed. I could go on, but you probably get my point.
Whether consumerism is bad is debatable (though, I do believe it's not healthy for a society).
But Colossians 3 always gets my head back down to earth, you know?
It's all going to be left behind when we fly out of here, so...70 years of poverty is well worth 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 x 1,000,000,000,000,000,000 and more years of eternal gain.
There are different crowns for different people and accomplishments, naturally. I happen to be of the persuasion that God will give a crown for how much we sacrificed here to give to Him and His work.
That being said, God wants us to have nice things. You've read the book of the Preacher, Ecclesiastes. The wisest man on earth said to enjoy the fruits of your labors. But...the conclusion? Fear God. Keep His commandments. Prioritize with eternity in mind, and all our loss here will be gain in the future.
And to me, that's sometimes the hardest faith to have. I can trust Him with my salvation and happiness, but when it comes to my material things and finances...
I have a nice house in a good neighborhood. I have two great cars. I have food in the cupboards, refrigerator and freezers.
If the above is so true, what am I so unsatisifed? I want more! I want a bigger house with a private bathroom for my wife and I. My cars are fine, paid off and in great condition, but I'd love a new truck! I would love to have my very own truck. And food, we have so much food, yet there is never anything to eat so I head out the door to pick up food at a local restaurant.
While the above is true about me, why is this so prevalent in the American society today? Why are we so obsessed with bigger is better. Give me more stuff! I blame it on effective marketing and advertising. You'll note in another thread that I am in the marketing field.
I blame it on living in suburbia and having all the conveniences at our fingertips. When I was away from the city for a few days I didn't think about all the "stuff" I wanted (not needed). No billboards screaming at me to buy this product or watching tv and being with restaurant ads, new toys for me.
I'm tired of wanting and buying things. It's exhausting! No really, have you ever felt mentally exhausted when you don't have what you think you should have?
Have you ever felt this way before?
I think alot of us have felt this way at one time or another. I will admit that the bigger/better no longer even dawns on me, especially since moving to ND. There's nothing here so life is simple here. Thus discovering that simple is truly happiness.
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