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Hi everyone! It seems that I run across people who love to control others' lives. They have an opinion about everything:
"She should leave her husband",
"I don't know why he quit his job to go back to school! If it were me..."
"I can't believe she adopted that child. How can she afford it? She should listen to me." Blah blah blah
Unfortunately, I have a few in my life who think they know what's best for me and are very upfront about letting me know!
I'm wrong, they're right. All the time.
Have any of you ever encountered people like this? What are your thoughts? Is it that they feel out of control of their own lives, so they want to boss others around? Or do they just care so much about a person, they want to "advise" you on how to live a better life?
Is it that they feel out of control of their own lives, so they want to boss others around?
Or do they just care so much about a person, they want to "advise" you on how to live a better life?
Could be either.
What happens if what they think is best for you is actually best for you?
For example, what happens if you are two months from graduating high school and you decide to quit. Your parents and others think it is best for you to finish high school. Are they telling you that because "they feel out of control of their own lives, so they want to boss others around"?
Yeah Ruth4Truth, I agree that they may just be unhappy with their own lives. I mean, sometimes all I can do is laugh when one of them says, "I can't believe you go to bed so early!! You must be depressed or something!" But she's holding her fifth glass of wine as she says it! LOL! People are a trip.
I think it is okay and fine to have opinions and to voice them. It makes like more interesting.
I would listen to what they have to say and consider whatever they are suggesting.
What they are suggesting to you may feel wrong at this moment, but you'd be surprised how you may be amenable to what they said in the future - even one week, one month, or one year from now.
If they're telling you not to quit high school then of course that's what is best for you. I meant people who judge you for something you're doing that isn't necessarily a horrible thing, but they try to boss you around and think that their way is the only way.
I think it is okay and fine to have opinions and to voice them. It makes like more interesting.
I would listen to what they have to say and consider whatever they are suggesting.
What they are suggesting to you may feel wrong at this moment, but you'd be surprised how you may be amenable to what they said in the future - even one week, one month, or one year from now.
It is good to have different opinions. I guess it's also the way they say what they're saying. LOL!! Hope that makes sense. For instance, I love, love LOVE to read. But it's gotten to the point to where I will hide my book when my loudmouth aunt comes over! "WHAT ARE YOU READING FOR? YOU NEED TO BE OUT SOCIALIZIN'!! SUCH A SHAME A PRETTY GIRL LIKE YOU WASTIN' AWAY, SITTIN' HERE BY YOURSELF, JUST READING!" And I am by no means antisocial.
And I don't know if this will be deleted, but another example is my friend who is dating outside her race (which I am totally for and see nothing wrong with...I date outside my race all the time .) But man, she catches so much flak, just because she's doing something her friend wouldn't do. We just roll our eyes whenever her friend starts talking about, "Well, I would stay with my own race. Are you crazy? Blah blah"
Hi everyone! It seems that I run across people who love to control others' lives. They have an opinion about everything:
"She should leave her husband",
"I don't know why he quit his job to go back to school! If it were me..."
"I can't believe she adopted that child. How can she afford it? She should listen to me." Blah blah blah
Unfortunately, I have a few in my life who think they know what's best for me and are very upfront about letting me know!
I'm wrong, they're right. All the time.
Have any of you ever encountered people like this? What are your thoughts? Is it that they feel out of control of their own lives, so they want to boss others around? Or do they just care so much about a person, they want to "advise" you on how to live a better life?
Hi mia, No I have never encountered this....
KIDDING!
A therapist friend tells me all the time that since people don't meditate and have peace deep inside...
they value their thoughts and opinions SO much...that is all they've got...what's in their heads....then they also
don't have the control or awareness to 'Think it, but keep it to themselves'.
She is quite bugged by this.
People don't often tell me what to do or make suggestions...I'm kind of intimidating.
Not scary...just tall, confident, happy, radiate that I know who I am....just a fact, not ego.
If a new person does, I am all Southern sweet and think they're cute bec they don't know me.
I always say, Thank you that's a good idea and smile.
(Like as if I would listen to them looking at their lives..)
Again, not ego....ya just have to look at the source....I know how things get misinterpreted on forums...
So I'm just sayin'...always be gracious and let people spout whatever they want.
I tend to think it's their way of trying to remain in control of their own lives. It's something to do with fear but I can't seem to put my finger on it.
The only people who try to tell me what to do at this point is my mom and my religious friends. So I can't be very close to them anymore. It's too much caging.
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