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Old 09-15-2013, 04:16 PM
 
1,696 posts, read 4,347,194 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by brainwashed_in_church View Post
This thread is really confusing me. What is the big deal?

So you answer with the truth.

I'm an engineer.
I work at the Blah Blah corporation in manufacturing.
I drive a truck.
I'm a stay at home mom.
Nothing right now, I'm on disability.
I'm a teacher.
I'm unemployed looking for medical office opportunities.
etc.
My husband and I have both learned it's not a pleasant experience to tell people what we do for a living. He is a computer programmer. People either launch into a million questions about how to fix their computer or they start "educating" him about computers. I am a dog trainer. When I tell people that, they either launch into a million questions about how to fix their dog, their friend's dog, their coworkers dog, or they start "educating" me about dogs (spouting off the most ridiculous, nonsensical, outdated misconceptions about the species).
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Old 09-15-2013, 05:00 PM
EA
 
Location: Las Vegas
6,791 posts, read 7,112,421 times
Reputation: 7580
I just don't talk to people. Problem solved.
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Old 09-15-2013, 05:57 PM
 
Location: SF Bay Area
14,317 posts, read 22,375,727 times
Reputation: 18436
I find this initial question, asked by people when first meeting them in a social gathering, to be the first sign that the person asking it, is a typical run-of-the-mill uninteresting person, simply trying to pass the time engaging in idle, superficial, meaningless chatter. This is especially true if, after names are exchanged, it's the next question. These people are so damn boring.

I usually answer, "why do you ask?" If they press further, I tell them that it's not important. I don't care to talk about work in such settings or be defined by what I do for a living. I'm not interested in impressing anyone with my title or achievements. I'm not interesting in giving them a forum to talk about their job. I usually move on to more interesting, substantive conservations and interactions with other people.
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Old 09-15-2013, 06:16 PM
 
1,950 posts, read 3,525,630 times
Reputation: 2770
I think this question is simply an icebreaker, a way to start a conversation and perhaps find common ground. I ask others this question because I just want to know about people, discover their interests. Of course people are more than their jobs, we are all muti-dimensional.
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Old 09-15-2013, 06:31 PM
 
Location: Minnesota
1,067 posts, read 1,193,391 times
Reputation: 1688
Quote:
Originally Posted by LexusNexus View Post
I find this initial question, asked by people when first meeting them in a social gathering, to be the first sign that the person asking it, is a typical run-of-the-mill uninteresting person, simply trying to pass the time engaging in idle, superficial, meaningless chatter. This is especially true if, after names are exchanged, it's the next question. These people are so damn boring.

I usually answer, "why do you ask?" If they press further, I tell them that it's not important. I don't care to talk about work in such settings or be defined by what I do for a living. I'm not interested in impressing anyone with my title or achievements. I'm not interesting in giving them a forum to talk about their job. I usually move on to more interesting, and interactions with other people.


Based on your response to the topic, you must be a joy to be around during social gatherings In fact, if i were to guess, I would assume most people try to avoid talking to you because you probably come off a little standoffish.

I was the same way too until I forced myself to change. I have come to realize that most people find first time social talk uncomfortable that is why they engage in mundane talk at fist, "what do you do?" and "where do you live?" types of questions. Once the conversations gets going and the two people feel a rapport with each other, there may be more "substantive conservations." And other times the conversations stops dead in its tracks. I am willing to let the conversation continue to see if there is any connection with that person, but sometimes there is no connections and I move on.
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Old 09-15-2013, 06:32 PM
 
Location: Minnesota
1,067 posts, read 1,193,391 times
Reputation: 1688
Quote:
Originally Posted by west seattle gal View Post
I think this question is simply an icebreaker, a way to start a conversation and perhaps find common ground. I ask others this question because I just want to know about people, discover their interests. Of course people are more than their jobs, we are all muti-dimensional.
You say more succinctly than I did
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Old 09-15-2013, 06:33 PM
 
Location: Albuquerque, NM
76 posts, read 137,606 times
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I can't seem to find the link now but there was an article that seemed to explain the concept pretty well. In essence, when someone asks you what you do for a living it's sort of to see where you stand in the grand scheme of things; if you help contribute to society, if you provide a meaningful service and are a person worth knowing. I wish I could find the article because it really did make more sense.

Personally I always hated answering the question myself. I am a human being and I have dozens of skills and interests that go far beyond that of a single vocation. Of course one of those skills is identifying and avoiding boring people who ask questions like that.
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Old 09-15-2013, 07:17 PM
 
993 posts, read 1,560,031 times
Reputation: 2029
Quote:
Originally Posted by Escort Rider View Post
It seems to me that the OP and K9coach as well are just playing word games with us. So, we're supposed to be puzzled as to what it's all about? Unless they tell us what they actually do, there is no way we can get the point of it all. Quite obviously what they do doesn't fit into a typical short answer (nurse, real estate agent, accountant, teacher, carpenter, plumber, and so on). So they are telling us they have a problem giving a short answer. And the point would be?
I'm thinking the same thing. Maybe the OP wants to appear mysterious? That, or he's Bruce Wayne.

Anyway, just answer the question. Who cares if people roll their eyes? If your job description is very complicated, just state the general field in which you work. My father and sister both have jobs that are lengthy to describe so they just talk about their general areas of expertise, engineering and public health, respectively.
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Old 09-15-2013, 09:28 PM
 
5,346 posts, read 9,850,819 times
Reputation: 9785
Quote:
Originally Posted by k9coach View Post
My husband and I have both learned it's not a pleasant experience to tell people what we do for a living. He is a computer programmer. People either launch into a million questions about how to fix their computer or they start "educating" him about computers. I am a dog trainer. When I tell people that, they either launch into a million questions about how to fix their dog, their friend's dog, their coworkers dog, or they start "educating" me about dogs (spouting off the most ridiculous, nonsensical, outdated misconceptions about the species).
I don't see why you allow this to be an issue. Just smile and hand the person a business card, ask them to call for an appointment and you will be happy to help. Smile, look them in the eye and be sincere.
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Old 09-16-2013, 04:26 AM
 
1,035 posts, read 2,060,117 times
Reputation: 2180
There are infinite ice breakers to choose from. Which one you choose matters. People who meet you for the first time and immediately ask what you do are usually conditioned to measure a person by that, associating it less with their "interests" and more with their personality and status. Namely, they're typical.

It's a method of sizing you up. Your values and how valuable you are, how you "rank" among society as a whole. If you don't believe so and really think you're just slinging out arbitrary questions at random just to get a conversation going, examine just how often you lead with the same ones and how you feel about the person depending on the answers they give.

I have a novel ice breaker. I say hello. Any question I ask after that is directly relevant to what's going on at the time, not trivial things people ask so they can quickly categorize you in their heads like, "What do you do? Are you married? Do you have kids?" You might as well be asking, "How well should I regard you? Are you affluent? Do you have family values? Are you normal?"

The fact that the answers can lead to something of genuine interest and commonality has little bearing on the underlying motivation for asking them. I don't think I've ever asked someone what they do unless they started talking about it. For one thing, I don't assume that everyone "does" something in the first place lol

I hate being asked anything of the sort and in my experience, only certain types of people do and they tend not to be the type of people I actively hang out with. Nothing wrong with them, just that it can be a preview of dullness yet to come. If you seem socially inept/awkward, though, I'll cut you some slack, heh.
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