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Good lord, the OP sounds like the next guy to go on a killing spree and shoot up a public area. Yikes.
You are a big help.
This is a lot deeper than shyness OP. Have you ever thought about why you fear beautiful women? Is it because you find them attractive you want them to approve of you? Why does their validation mean so much to you?
Too many of these 'woe is me' threads lately from guys.
Do these guys really think that kind of attitude, or revealing so much of their 'vulnerability,' makes them remotely attractive to women?
If so, no wonder so many guys have problems with relationships or even striking up a conversation with a girl in a healthy manner.
What's gotten into guys these days? No role models growing up to show them? Too much internet that shapes their warped views of society, women, and how to interact with them?
No offense, but guys need to man up and start taking control of their lives and self confidence.
If you feel this is such a widespread problem then what are you doing to help other then playing mister tough guy on the internet?
I don't say this often...but I think you may need professional help, OP. It's normal for a boy in his teens or young man in his late teens/early 20s to be a little nervous on their first few dates or going for the first kiss or whatever...and then they get over their nervousness after they get a little experience. However, what you're feeling is WAY worse than that. No mentally healthy individual is going to have an outright fear of all attractive women, even if the individual has never dated and/or is still a virgin. Such individuals are still able to interact normally with women their age and perhaps be friends with a few of them. Heck, even most shy guys aren't going to cower in a corner whenever they see a nice-looking woman.
Low self-esteem is a big part of your problem, but I think there's more to it than that.
I suspect that only a few girls/women have actually mocked you in a cruel way...and those people are probably just mean-spirited in general, towards lots of people. You need to learn to stop giving a damn about such people. However, I've gotta mention that being "made fun of" is pretty normal...it happens to all of us, and 95% of the time there's no harmful intent, and nearly all of us have teased others every once in a while. The word "fun" is in that phrase for a reason. You need to try to grow thicker skin and not take things so personally. (And learn to humorously dish it back every once in awhile.) Being able to tease each other in an unoffensive way and not take it seriously can go a long way towards forming better emotional bonds and camaraderie with each other.
Anyway, you're going to encounter situations in your life where you will be REQUIRED to interact frequently face-to-face with attractive women, with no way to avoid it. So you're going to have to get over your fear soon...failure to do so will be a huge roadblock in your life, your passions, career goals, etc. After all, women comprise about 50% of the population and some of them are attractive in the eyes of a large percentage of men.
Ah, yes ... poo, pee and gas ... the universal equalizers ... remembering that may actually help the OP.
It would help to reinforce the fact that all humans are human, including pretty, attractive women. I think many guys become in awe of a sexually attractive women and often times forget that, at a base level, she is not much different than anyone else. Yes, she poos, pees, and farts just like anyone else.
Well yea, attractive women are terrifying, because they have so much power. They can choose to get hired at any lucrative company, or they can choose to not work at all by marrying a rich guy. They're playing the game of life on Easy Mode.
I'm a 20 something year old male and am afraid of women
Here's how I do things
- I never frequent establishments where I know women will be present (cafes, malls, movie theatres, etc)
- Never go to clubs or parties
- Never commute to college during prime hours. Only in the evening, early morning or weekends
- One of the reasons I take online classes is to avoid women
- I never make eye contact with them, stick to looking at the ground
- I avoid them whenever possible. When I see a girl or a group of girls, I get out of dodge to the best of my ability
- I never apply for job positions where I know I'll be interacting with lots of women. If I do have to work with women, I avoid them and only speak to them briefly when I have to
- I wear hoodies so women can't see my face
I was made fun of and mocked by women relentlessly growing up. I am ugly, ethnic, short and scrawny. I have no self confidence as a young adult and I'm very socially awkward. This is where the fear of women comes from
For a full time career, I plan on working with computers so not a lot of physical interaction
I'm assuming that you want to change? If so, just reverse what you're doing now. That said, being liked by attractive women isn't going to help you like yourself...
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