Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
This is a contrast from Jameis Winston. He was the star QB at FSU. He had a credible rape allegation. The Tallahassee police did nothing with it. When it came out, his accuser was hounded out of school. While this was going on, he shoplifted crab legs and was standing on a table in the middle of campus singing about pu___.
He should have missed games and not been drafted. He did this at the time he was playing for FSU as a junior (the rape allegation was about his freshman year). He was an adult during all this time. Instead, he was the first draft pick in the NFL.
By contrast, this guy did it a number of years ago when he was 14.
So the lesson is that if you mess up as a kid, your life is ruined?
I don't think that's much of a motivator.
I think the lesson is if you mess up as a kid and you grow up and don’t acknowledge it or have learned from it, tried to atone or apologize for it then you’re an arse and deserve whatever consequence comes from that.
I think the lesson is if you mess up as a kid and you grow up and don’t acknowledge it or have learned from it, tried to atone or apologize for it then you’re an arse and deserve whatever consequence comes from that.
And who has decided whether he has sufficiently atoned and apologized and whether he is an arse?
The totally unbiased media? Special interest groups?
And who has decided whether he has sufficiently atoned and apologized and whether he is an arse?
The totally unbiased media? Special interest groups?
The victim's parents:
"Last fall, Isaiah's father, Jamie Crothers, wrote an open letter to Miller, accusing him of using his status as an emerging hockey star to carry out years of abuse. The family placed their adopted son in another school to help him avoid bullying, Crothers wrote, but he alleged that the incidents resumed when he and Miller later went to the same middle school."
Boston Bruins Captain:
"In this locker room, we're all about inclusion, diversity, respect," Bergeron said. "We expect guys to wear this jersey to be high-character people with integrity and respect. That's how they should be acting."
Bergeron said he disagreed with signing Miller. He and other players also said it was up to Miller to continue to develop and to show he has changed.
And, yes, your life may be "ruined" for what you do as a teenager if you are shooting for a multi-million job or any high profile job. This is an important life lesson.
Last edited by Maddie104; 11-17-2022 at 06:21 AM..
I recently learned the theory of cognitive dissonance. I'm not sure if I explain it correctly, but here goes: When there are two different cognitions that are opposite to one another, it creates a clash inside of us. In order for the clash to resolve, the person has different options. Adjust the behaviour for either cognition or adjust the perception of the behaviour for either.
In the matter of forgiveness, if one cognition is "the person did something bad" and the other is "the person is only human" I guess it comes down to what makes each person feel better (which I personally equate with resolving the clash).
So I guess it comes down again to each person's experiences and world view. Others prefer to blame and others prefer to forgive. Others may even not think about forgiveness and just recognise that something bad has happened and accept it without dwelling for long.
Personally I have had times that I struggled with forgiveness and thought about it a lot - how the person should have said sorry, how I should have said sorry. One can get so lost in the past that it makes the present unbearable. So there came a point when I figured, if I'm gonna fight I'm gonna fight, if I'm gonna say sorry, I'm gonna say sorry. And that goes for every person in the world. Noone is perfect.
The important thing is that one doesn't get so hung up on forgiving and blaming that they forget to live their present. If someone needs my forgiveness they can have it. I just hope it makes them feel better.
So the lesson is that if you mess up as a kid, your life is ruined?
I don't think that's much of a motivator.
He messed up this kid's life from 1st grade and on. And...hasn't shown remorse. Yeah...he wrote a letter of apology because the court told him to. Big whoop. He never really reached out to this young man UNTIL he started catching heat.
And a big part of showing remorse, is finding it within yourself to contemplate the harm you've done, and give more of a damn about your victim's situation than your own.
If one has a sincere wish to make amends, after making an apology that acknowledges that you understand what you did wrong, and why it was wrong...and if one simply finds oneself at a loss on what to do beyond saying sorry, then one can always ask, "How can I make amends for what I have done?"
If the victim of the abuse is not willing to engage and tell you, then you should ask friends, mentors, anyone around you...crowd source some ideas, and then put in the work.
It's never really that the actions of a young and unwise person should ruin the rest of their lives. It's a question of whether you are still that same person, or you aren't. And a lot of people grow up with no real accountability and don't see why harm they've done is any kind of a big deal, so in some cases, yeah, a reckoning is not only in order, it's overdue.
And a big part of showing remorse, is finding it within yourself to contemplate the harm you've done, and give more of a damn about your victim's situation than your own.
If one has a sincere wish to make amends, after making an apology that acknowledges that you understand what you did wrong, and why it was wrong...and if one simply finds oneself at a loss on what to do beyond saying sorry, then one can always ask, "How can I make amends for what I have done?"
If the victim of the abuse is not willing to engage and tell you, then you should ask friends, mentors, anyone around you...crowd source some ideas, and then put in the work.
It's never really that the actions of a young and unwise person should ruin the rest of their lives. It's a question of whether you are still that same person, or you aren't. And a lot of people grow up with no real accountability and don't see why harm they've done is any kind of a big deal, so in some cases, yeah, a reckoning is not only in order, it's overdue.
And, in some cases, are still a bully and go on to another weaker victim, their spouse.
And a big part of showing remorse, is finding it within yourself to contemplate the harm you've done, and give more of a damn about your victim's situation than your own.
If one has a sincere wish to make amends, after making an apology that acknowledges that you understand what you did wrong, and why it was wrong...and if one simply finds oneself at a loss on what to do beyond saying sorry, then one can always ask, "How can I make amends for what I have done?"
If the victim of the abuse is not willing to engage and tell you, then you should ask friends, mentors, anyone around you...crowd source some ideas, and then put in the work.
It's never really that the actions of a young and unwise person should ruin the rest of their lives. It's a question of whether you are still that same person, or you aren't. And a lot of people grow up with no real accountability and don't see why harm they've done is any kind of a big deal, so in some cases, yeah, a reckoning is not only in order, it's overdue.
I don't think a lot of you understand how difficult that is to do for a normal person, to approach someone you have wronged. If he really is remorseful, the first reaction would be to forget about it, not dwell on it.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
