Why do people feel resentful when they see others happy?
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I don't think that people (unless they are actually horrible people) are resentful of other being happy. But are we talking about actually happy, or fake over the top "look at me" happy? Then its probably not resentment, but more of annoyance.
Why resent (or be annnoyed by) either, and how would you know if it’s fake or not? Regardless, I’d not give it a second thought (nor do I know/follow fake, ‘over-the-top’ folks anyway).
My thoughts on this topic stem around this belief that everyone and every thing should be equal. The pursuit of equality can be a massive set up for disappointment. So let’s say you are a single divorced lady who is getting back into the dating world but you struggle finding Mr. Right. You go to a restaurant and see a loving couple holding hands and enjoying each others company while you sit there lonely and dejected.
A certain amount of resentment boils up in her belly because she feels entitled and jealous of the other loving couple.
Back to this equality thing that everyone chases and embraces these days. The lonely lady starts loathing the happy couple because she honestly feels she should be equally happy. It’s an issue of entitlement. But guess what? Life is NEVER equal. Time to accept this fact and stop worrying so much about equality because at the end of the day, it’s a pipe dream.
My thoughts on this topic stem around this belief that everyone and every thing should be equal. The pursuit of equality can be a massive set up for disappointment. So let’s say you are a single divorced lady who is getting back into the dating world but you struggle finding Mr. Right. You go to a restaurant and see a loving couple holding hands and enjoying each others company while you sit there lonely and dejected.
A certain amount of resentment boils up in her belly because she feels entitled and jealous of the other loving couple.
If the single woman were out with a few friends, she’d be too engaged in conversation to even notice the couple, yet alone feel resentment or jealousy over it.
Who are you to say that Pancake Girl isn't much happier about her pancakes than "winning the lottery or getting her dream job?"
Maybe Pancake Girl is happy in the moment and doesn't care what sour people think about her dance. Not everyone in the world is self conscious and worried about what others think of them.
No.
If the camera was at the ready, it was choreographed.
And, obviously, she doesn't care what others think. Doesn't make it any less choreographed.
If the camera was at the ready, it was choreographed.
And, obviously, she doesn't care what others think. Doesn't make it any less choreographed.
I don't see the problem. If someone is sitting at their table, eating pancakes, dancing- choreographed or not, interacting with their friends, it's none of my business what they're doing. I'm there to enjoy myself, not to patrol what others do. Being happy in the moment and having a "choreographed dance" are not mutually exclusive to each other.
Maybe she has a loved one who likes to see videos of her being happy, so she makes it a point to record herself. Maybe she's just an attention seeker. I don't know. It doesn't matter to me. She's having a good time and she's entitled to live however she sees fit.
I don't see the problem. If someone is sitting at their table, eating pancakes, dancing- choreographed or not, interacting with their friends, it's none of my business what they're doing. I'm there to enjoy myself, not to patrol what others do. Being happy in the moment and having a "choreographed dance" are not mutually exclusive to each other.
Maybe she has a loved one who likes to see videos of her being happy, so she makes it a point to record herself. Maybe she's just an attention seeker. I don't know. It doesn't matter to me. She's having a good time and she's entitled to live however she sees fit.
I'm fine with it, too - as long as she's not disturbing other patron's meals. I'd most likely look at her and think 'There's an idiot who needs a lot of attention.'
I know, I know ... not that'd she care.
Fact is: She PRETENDED to be excited at IHOP (for a tik tok video). Case closed.
I'm fine with it, too - as long as she's not disturbing other patron's meals. I'd most likely look at her and think 'There's an idiot who needs a lot of attention.'
I know, I know ... not that'd she care.
Fact is: She PRETENDED to be excited at IHOP (for a tik tok video). Case closed.
And it seemed to make her happy, which doesn't make me feel resentful.
And it seemed to make her happy, which doesn't make me feel resentful.
I don't resent happiness. Heck, I like to have fun everywhere I go. I had fun this morning in the checkout at Walmart ... just don't ruin other people's experiences.
I've already seen young women out, just sitting, nothing unusual going on, then out comes the camera.
They all PRETEND to be having the greatest time ever, then the camera goes away and they go back to sitting there like schlubs again.
It then goes on social media and they PRETEND to be partying like celebrities.
Note: None of their nonsense ruins my night or makes me feel resentful. I sometimes like to make observations ... and it's hard not to if it's in earshot or sight line.
If the single woman were out with a few friends, she’d be too engaged in conversation to even notice the couple, yet alone feel resentment or jealousy over it.
All depends. Some people just happen to look around at their environment once in a while.
I find it interesting how some people aim their negative feelings outwards at others, and some aim it inwards at themselves. I'm one who always aims in inwards. So if I am having a bad day and may feel a bit moody and vulnerable to negative self talk or whatever, and I see someone who appears to be getting something in life that, in that moment, I think they get to enjoy and I do not... In my mind, it spins into this more kind of cosmic, "why do others deserve X but I never got/get X, I guess I don't deserve X that other people get" self-pity thinking. I don't indulge this very often. I've got a lot of ways to tell that particular kind of brain gremlin to sit down and shut up.
But I never feel any antagonism or hate for the other people who are enjoying whatever it is. I wish happiness and good things upon all people. I just want to feel that I am as deserving as anyone, of happiness, love, pancakes so good they make you want to dance, whatever it is.
And like damn near everything in the realms of understanding my own emotional and psychological landscape, this too is just my brain trying to reinforce patterns set in childhood. Though thankfully being an adult and KNOWING that means that I don't have to allow those reflexive mental shenanigans to play out.
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