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I dont resent other people's happiness but I feel resentful when I see known scumbags and/or inept idiots that everyone knows are inept idiots and/or scumbags survive countless layoffs and stay/attain positions of much higher wealth and power. And I see nothing wrong with feeling that away or requesting/demanding justice for said individuals.
It wasn't until I reached my fifties and long after my father passed away, I began to understand why he was so unhappy. His father and brothers didn't respect him. Unfortunately, he took out his unhappiness on me and my mother. I grew up hating him.
It wasn't until I reached my fifties and long after my father passed away, I began to understand why he was so unhappy. His father and brothers didn't respect him. Unfortunately, he took out his unhappiness on me and my mother. I grew up hating him.
We learn a whole lot once we get into our late 40s and 50s
I sure hope seeing happy people makes you happy now.
We learn a whole lot once we get into our late 40s and 50s
I sure hope seeing happy people makes you happy now.
While I have my faults generally speaking if you're happy... I'm happy. Today I'm 66 and find two types of older people. Those who are content with the way life turned out and those who are bitter.
While I have my faults generally speaking if you're happy... I'm happy. Today I'm 66 and find two types of older people. Those who are content with the way life turned out and those who are bitter.
I'm 54 so I'll be in the 60s club before I know it. My long time GF turned 60 this month. She took it pretty well. Her turning 60 hit me harder I think. Really drove home that we're not young anymore.
Bitter? My mom died at 62 and she was extremely angry and bitter, she's actually better off dead as awful as that sounds. it was hard to visit her because she was so dark and depressed.
My gf is 60 but that's the new 50, at least for her.
Quote:
Originally Posted by bu2
When you are young, you don't understand how much you will learn about other people (in general) as you get into your 30s/40s/50.
I think if you get a pretty decent understanding of life it happens by your mid late 40s I would say.
Sometimes, if you're going through a particularly rough time, and you see others carefree and happy, it can make you feel a bit bristled and resentful. Is it a good feeling? no. Is it healthy? no. Does it end up just making you feel worse or even ashamed? Yes, it can. Is it human? yes. It's human to not like salt poured in your wounds. And that's what it can feel like sometimes. Depending on the situation.
It happened to me when I was a teen, going through a tragedy pretty much all by myself, and then some things compounded the tragedy, and all around me kids were carefree, happy, excited about graduation and their college plans and whatnot. After awhile, yes, resentment crept in. It's not fun to resent others, and it's especially hard when you know you are totally in the wrong for doing so, but you can't help yourself. Sometimes, it just happens. You get a bit pulled down by the undertow, that's all. But, lesson learned. All it does is make you feel worse. I would highly recommend against it.
Sometimes, if you're going through a particularly rough time, and you see others carefree and happy, it can make you feel a bit bristled and resentful. Is it a good feeling? no. Is it healthy? no. Does it end up just making you feel worse or even ashamed? Yes, it can. Is it human? yes. It's human to not like salt poured in your wounds. And that's what it can feel like sometimes. Depending on the situation.
It happened to me when I was a teen, going through a tragedy pretty much all by myself, and then some things compounded the tragedy, and all around me kids were carefree, happy, excited about graduation and their college plans and whatnot. After awhile, yes, resentment crept in. It's not fun to resent others, and it's especially hard when you know you are totally in the wrong for doing so, but you can't help yourself. Sometimes, it just happens. You get a bit pulled down by the undertow, that's all. But, lesson learned. All it does is make you feel worse. I would highly recommend against it.
Its interesting how people react differently. I never had resentful thoughts when I was down and I saw others happy. May have made me feel worse in my situation, but I never resented them.
Maybe its a defense mechanism for some. Instead of feeling worse about yourself, you resent others.
Its interesting how people react differently. I never had resentful thoughts when I was down and I saw others happy. May have made me feel worse in my situation, but I never resented them.
Maybe its a defense mechanism for some. Instead of feeling worse about yourself, you resent others.
Yes, it would have made you feel worse. But sometimes, in certain situations, it's just a natural, human reaction, such as with a traumatic event one is suddenly plunged into. A lot of your normal reactions to things can go out the window as you struggle to cope. But my example was more of an extreme life circumstance, I suppose.
Sometimes, if you're going through a particularly rough time, and you see others carefree and happy, it can make you feel a bit bristled and resentful. Is it a good feeling? no. Is it healthy? no. Does it end up just making you feel worse or even ashamed? Yes, it can. Is it human? yes. It's human to not like salt poured in your wounds. And that's what it can feel like sometimes. Depending on the situation.
It’s a matter of perception. In other words, how is another’s happiness ‘pouring salt into your wounds’? Your focus should be on your own life (and working toward resolution of any problem or misfortune) rather than on others, as the former is the easier/only way you’re going to get through ‘a particularly rough time’ and be happier.
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