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I can hardly take it! All these new feelings...overwhelming. I know I am gonna get there, and for a couple of mos, I am gonna be dirt poor, maybe longer, but I am going to be happy...
That makes me feel so good. Yes, I can feel good about being dirt poor...I can feel wonderful about being so happy.... In the middle of the night, sitting here typing, smiling away.
Months ago, this could be me, with tears streaming down my face. What a transformation.
"....I am gonna be dirt poor,..., but I am going to be happy..."
....You are indeed wealthy in most the important ways!...
Your a pretty lucky lady to find such a desirable rental so quickly. I remember when we last moved into this gloriously modern 6 room, 2nd floor apartment in a 2 family house. We responded to over 300 ads before we came upon this one. When we saw it, we just knew it was the one. That was ~17+ years ago and we were just about your age!
My oh my does time fly by!
I am awake, once again, by my work schedules alarm. I don't feel very tired. I did not walk yesterday.
Windchimes says take a break, packing is enough, but its not...lol... by back kills me from the couch. My sister is supposed to call me this morning during my walking time.
I was talking to her last night, and she was getting ready to eat. She asks, is there anything you need? I say, is there anything I dont need, you mean? LOL...She rephrased her question and laughed...
She said that dinner was being made for her, her favorite, and finally it was ready...after 7..I am gonna call you in the morning, she said with excitement.
I think she is so happy for me. She feels the chains breaking too.
the washer and dryer fell through, I think I posted of that, and the stove i may be able to get, I don't know when that will be, it waits on a persons house to close, while I have to cook for the kids.
I get paid this friday, and all of the pay will go to the rent. First, though, I will have to pay back the advance I got, and will have to get another to pay the rent...it becomes a viscious cycle, because I have been there before... Rats! Had to get 2 of my meds yesterday, and I need to pay the 95 to get my phone hooked up...I have to do that by thurs or fri, or it wont be hooked up til Tues, because of the Holiday.
I cannot wait to sleep in a real bed. I just cannot wait.
My friend from work, I stopped by there yesterday, it is above the pharmacy, I went to the back and talked to her, today is her half day. She is so excited for me, originally being one of the ones saying that I am not trying hard enough.
Until she heard of what they did to me. I actually called her from the road on the way to maryland and told her. She is like that of a mother figure to me, but also a friend...
She says...OH! Tomorrow is my half day...we can go look around in your house, see what you need...and i can take you shopping! LOL.
Another of the nurses offered me a shower curtain, but the way this tub is, I need 2, I guess i could take it, and find another for the backside, i dont know.
Jim complained last night...I will be glad when there will be some normalcy in my life.
His bowels are in an uproar. Sorry if that was disturbing. The same thing happened to me in the beginning of all of this. I told him...next you will become vegetarian, if the path your body follows takes the same as mine.
My body just totally went haywire. It did the uproar, then I couldn't eat, before that I started the exercising, then I could not eat meat, I calmed down a bit, my migraines went away,
My RA stopped flaring, I started feeling good, now I am eating more meat...less walking..uh oh.. I dont have the time, but i am going to make the time.
I am certain that he will not go in a positive fashion, but who knows. It is the turmoil that is eating at him. the nervousness, the fear.
How can you insure that I wont regret this decision I have made?
I have made it clear to you that if I find out through constant contact with the kids that all moma does when she comes home from work is lay around, or stay on the computer and that they are washing and drying the clothes, cooking and cleaning, and basically maintaining the house themselves, that I will do what i have to do to get them in my custody.
You said that you understood this and it would be the right thing to do.
I know that as of the past 2-3 weeks you have been contributing to maintain the house through cooking, washing the dishes, washing and drying the clothes. This is a great improvement and I would like this to continue and increase in your new residence with the kids.
This was a very gut-wrenching decision to make for me, but I did it because of what I have been told about the school they will be attending at your new place, and the location and condition of your new place. I believe they will have the chance to live happily eventually.
Keep in mind that I have made this decision based on what I think might be the best for the kids and not what i want. I wanted to work on our relationship and do whatever it took to build it back up, something I made very clear to you, and you told methat no amount of counseling and time would change the way you feel about it.
Do you want to get what you can of my 401k? I have a beneficiary form for you to sign.
If I get hurt in a traffic accident that is not my fault, or get hurt at work and recieve a settlement through workmans comp, will you request any of such settlements?
Alterior motives and planning will not allow us to heal and benefit our kids!
That is what he had written down the Sunday after we had talked the day before and HE had decided the kids could come w me.
Craziness. Yep, when I had my migraines, i would have to come home and lay down. No other alternative. OMG. UGH.
Because I am happy....I am getting ready to walk, and I have stuff to do today, and I will move in a few days, and I am happy, and the kids are showing that they are as well.
How can you insure that I wont regret this decision I have made?
I have made it clear to you that if I find out through constant contact with the kids that all moma does when she comes home from work is lay around, or stay on the computer and that they are washing and drying the clothes, cooking and cleaning, and basically maintaining the house themselves, that I will do what i have to do to get them in my custody.
You said that you understood this and it would be the right thing to do.
I know that as of the past 2-3 weeks you have been contributing to maintain the house through cooking, washing the dishes, washing and drying the clothes. This is a great improvement and I would like this to continue and increase in your new residence with the kids.
This was a very gut-wrenching decision to make for me, but I did it because of what I have been told about the school they will be attending at your new place, and the location and condition of your new place. I believe they will have the chance to live happily eventually.
Keep in mind that I have made this decision based on what I think might be the best for the kids and not what i want. I wanted to work on our relationship and do whatever it took to build it back up, something I made very clear to you, and you told methat no amount of counseling and time would change the way you feel about it.
Do you want to get what you can of my 401k? I have a beneficiary form for you to sign.
If I get hurt in a traffic accident that is not my fault, or get hurt at work and recieve a settlement through workmans comp, will you request any of such settlements?
Alterior motives and planning will not allow us to heal and benefit our kids!
That is what he had written down the Sunday after we had talked the day before and HE had decided the kids could come w me.
Craziness. Yep, when I had my migraines, i would have to come home and lay down. No other alternative. OMG. UGH.
Bottom line....Money
Robyn! You had such a wonderful and wonderfully productive day yesterday - you basically shocked the crap outta TJ, hence his telling you where the boxes SHOULD be, what you SHOULD have done - more of his control has been taken away - Good for you! All of his comments above - again, coming from his loss of control and the "veiled threat" that he will be keeping tabs on what is going on by talking to the kids (also something that isn't right - he should not put them in the position of "reporting to him" what is going on in your new residence!)
The beneficiary form for his 401K - DO NOT SIGN IT - Tell him you will have your lawyers look at it first - DO NOT SIGN ANYTHING WITHOUT YOUR LAWYER'S OKAY. I'm not quite sure why you would have to sign a beneficiary form.....also, make sure it is documented that you cashed in YOUR 401K to take care of Alex's teeth.
His bellyaching about dinner - tough nuggies - if he has not given you any money towards food for this week, he can fend for himself for food! Tell him to go to McDonald's! He's still trying to get what he can out of you.
As for ulterior motives - HE'S the one who has them, not you. Be very careful of that these next few days - again SIGN NOTHING WITHOUT YOUR LAWYER'S OKAY! (Obviously I'm obsessing over that, but humor me)
You mentioned in another note that you will be "dirt poor" for awhile - You know what? There are worse things. As someone else pointed out, you may be "dirt poor" money-wise, but you are so rich in other ways - the ways that really matter, and that is what is important.
You also mentioned (I think) that you may not have a washer and dryer - that may be a blessing in disguise - if you have to go to the laundromat, it may actually be cheaper for you - the washer and dryer won't be on your electric bill!
There's a website, I can't remember the URL for it now, but I think it's called "frugal living" and it has great tips on how to save money in various ways - once you have moved and are settled, I'll try to remember to find the link for you - it has some great ideas.
My present hubby and I are not rich, by any stretch of the imagination - I was stupid in my divorce and did not "take" all that I was entitled to...his ex-wife, on the other hand, took all she could. I work as a medical transcriptionist, hubby is a woodworker - we do not have the income we used to have, and you know what? It doesn't matter - we have each other - we are not "monetarily rich" but we are rich in our relationship - just like you and your relationship with your kids. Frankly, neither of us would change that - money comes and goes - the REAL wealth is what you carry inside you.....YOU have that - TJ doesn't, which is why he is so concerned about the money aspect - he needs "money" to have his confidence, hence the "everything is about money." Money makes things 'easier', sure, but as long as you have a roof over your head and food on the table (which you will have) - don't sweat it.
Anyway, again, I rambled - what can I say, I'm a Gemini and have been told that's one of my "traits" Just remember, today is Wednesday, only a few more days and you will be FREE! No more having to listen to "you should have....." or "why did/didn't you......" Your kids are thrilled they will be able to have friends over, they love the new place, you love the new place, all will be well!
Also, it sounds like the new place is bigger - remember, there's nothing wrong with having the kids pitch in to keep it clean and orderly, it will teach them lessons that will serve them well later in life - I can still remember teaching my son how to cook basic meals, how to clean, do dishes, how to do his laundry - starting at about the age Alex is now - sure he pitched a fit in the beginning, but as he got older, he realized how valuable those lessons were and when he got married his wife thanked me!
Okay, now I promise - I WILL shut up....I gotta get to work...I work from home, so it's easy for me to get side-tracked on here...too easy sometimes
You have a terrific day and keep that smile on your face! (that's an order)
You're really on your way Robyn. The house sounds beautiful and the kids seem excited about this new chapter.
Every day I notice your resolve is stronger. Doesn't a backbone feel great!
Every woman here is a survivor and I'm so proud to know all of you. And I really feel that we need to have our Robynpalooza! Maybe even invite Oprah to attend with a film crew.
I don't want to burst your bubble but I do want to give you a little warning- when I was in your shoes a few years ago and he finally left, although it felt good, there was a short period of emptiness------ I looked at empty rooms and dusty corners, empty drawers and fell apart for a little while (less than a day)- if or when that happens to you, just know that it's very temporary.
Good walk this morning, about 4 miles. Talked to my sister, and one of my brothers. No music, just the river, and my family.
My sister, upset...he needs to give me some of the appliances....I told her he would rather have them, than the kids, IMHO. I told her about the when can I date thing...she thinks he has someone lined up...LOL I said I am sure he does, but he wants to do it, in a way that he won't get in trouble over it.
We talked for a long time. Then my brother. The one I can never get ahold of. She said call him now, he is still at home...and he was. Just got out of the shower.
I asked him about plans for Saturday, etc, they will all be down at about 10:30, and he asked if he was going to have to knock him out. I told him I didn't think so. He knows everything that is going on...lmao. Everyone in my family is so ready for this.
I asked if I needed to rent a trailor, I know one of them is bringing one, and he asked what I was bringing with and how far away... how much does it cost for the day? 25. He said thats not bad, I explained to him what I have had to shell out, and he said you need to hold on to every thing you have, dont you?
Wait til you get my moving fee!
Hugs and kisses, I ask?
YYEEAAPPP!
The kids are so excited to be spending Thanksgiving with my family this year, and I know they will be excited to see them this weekend... I am excited about seeing them, of course excited over moving, but seeing them, as well...
Hmm..laundromats are exp here. 2.00 to wash a load I think.
Gonna check craigslist again, and my local paper online, and then I am going to go to this store downtown that has appliances. Jim said they will work on payment plans with me if I buy more than one. Thats what they were gonna do with him, when he was going to move out.
You know, I know i need these appliances, but I know that somehow I will get them. I also know that he wants them more than he wants the kids. He wants my Christmas tree, because its my tree, and he knows I want it. TJ..Toxic...jerk...whatever.
Moving along
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Normalcy in his life
