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That's a good idea Robyn. Do tell him with someone near, even if they're not within earshot. Windchimes, that's all very good info you're putting out. Robyn, you're doing great!
Thanks Synopsis - I've "been there, done that, got the t-shirt" <g>...I had two bad marriages - the first when I was young, married my high school sweetheart. We'd been married about a year when I got pregnant, when I was 6 months pregnant, he decided he didn't want to be a daddy, he wanted a mommy and took off with a woman his mother's age He was not abusive....just stupid
Second time around, was married for 20 years, first 15 were good, last 5 he started binge drinking, became verbally abusive, the verbal abuse escalated and he hit me - I was outta there the next day.
Life is a learning experience and I've learned a lot over the years.....a friend of mine has a quote he uses often "What don't kill us makes us stronger" - he's right
Robyn, on top of everyone else's good advice, let me add this.
Forget about the landlady and forget about where Jim is going to live after 9/1/07. The landlady wasn't willing to help you out and you don't owe her any type of consideration as you make your plans. IF you really owe her any money upon moving out, you can pay her $10 a month or she can sue you in small claims court. If she wins there, she'll have a judgment but most likely won't be able to do anything about it. I don't know anything about VA law, but in Texas you would be judgment proof because you do not have enough assets to satisfy the judgment. If you end up with a judgment against you, you can pay if off in time. It's not worth worrying about right now. I wouldn't normally tell anyone to "stiff" a landlady, but you've got enough to do to take care of your family right now and you can pay any debt to her later.
The same is true for Jim. You gave him an opportunity to find a place to live and he said he wasn't moving. He's a grown man (supposedly) and can take care of his own housing needs. I know you're worried about how angry he'll be when he finds out, with good reason, but please don't worry about what is going to happen to him. He can move in with his mama if he can't handle life on his own.
Robyn, on top of everyone else's good advice, let me add this.
Forget about the landlady and forget about where Jim is going to live after 9/1/07. The landlady wasn't willing to help you out and you don't owe her any type of consideration as you make your plans. IF you really owe her any money upon moving out, you can pay her $10 a month or she can sue you in small claims court. If she wins there, she'll have a judgment but most likely won't be able to do anything about it. I don't know anything about VA law, but in Texas you would be judgment proof because you do not have enough assets to satisfy the judgment. If you end up with a judgment against you, you can pay if off in time. It's not worth worrying about right now. I wouldn't normally tell anyone to "stiff" a landlady, but you've got enough to do to take care of your family right now and you can pay any debt to her later.
The same is true for Jim. You gave him an opportunity to find a place to live and he said he wasn't moving. He's a grown man (supposedly) and can take care of his own housing needs. I know you're worried about how angry he'll be when he finds out, with good reason, but please don't worry about what is going to happen to him. He can move in with his mama if he can't handle life on his own.
I forgot to put something in the crockpot this morning. Called the kids to ckeck on them this afternoon and talked to Alexander, asked if his daddy was home, forgot he had therapy today, then I remembered I had forgot to dinner this am...
he said daddy said he was gonna take care of you later for that...
Why would you say something like that to your child?!?
Robyn - It's his way of "control" - he's hoping Alexander will be worried about what he meant and he's hoping Alexander told you what he said so you will be "intimidated" when he gets home........
I forgot to put something in the crockpot this morning. Called the kids to ckeck on them this afternoon and talked to Alexander, asked if his daddy was home, forgot he had therapy today, then I remembered I had forgot to dinner this am...
he said daddy said he was gonna take care of you later for that...
Why would you say something like that to your child?!?
Because he's an ogre that feeds on fear and doesn't care what his family feels. He just selfishly vents his anger on the nearest target and sits back and eats it up. Take note of that too, and the time. Tell your lawyer all of this and make sure that he documents it. If you have to, just give it all to him on paper.
I don't think you can be held to the lease if the home is not safe for you or your children. I have never heard of anyone asking for 60 days notice??? What's up with that? I agree with above about having something in the letter releasing you from the lease or owing any money once you are out. Jim, on the other hand can take care of himself. You are making good choices about having people around at the right time.
Sunny, I am so happy for you and your wisdom and being able to see reality and not staying, when you are so not happy and you are not to be abused in any way, shape or form.
To both of you:
May you find joy and PEACE in the months and years ahead and find happiness within yourselves.
Because he's an ogre that feeds on fear and doesn't care what his family feels. He just selfishly vents his anger on the nearest target and sits back and eats it up. Take note of that too, and the time. Tell your lawyer all of this and make sure that he documents it. If you have to, just give it all to him on paper.
Well, he is home and I have dinner almost done...HA!
foolish foolish man. He sits there, with Lucy cat, being so sweet and kind to her.
She is a love monger. And yes, Alexander reported to me, and it made me mad, while I was at work, but i will not even bring it up here tonight. As though it did not happen... that will probably bother him more. That I was not bothered by it. So, I will not be bothered by what he said, but inside, I am bothered that he would say that to Alexander.
I don't think you can be held to the lease if the home is not safe for you or your children. I have never heard of anyone asking for 60 days notice??? What's up with that? I agree with above about having something in the letter releasing you from the lease or owing any money once you are out. Jim, on the other hand can take care of himself. You are making good choices about having people around at the right time.
Sunny, I am so happy for you and your wisdom and being able to see reality and not staying, when you are so not happy and you are not to be abused in any way, shape or form.
To both of you:
May you find joy and PEACE in the months and years ahead and find happiness within yourselves.
You know, i told her i couldn't live like this, and she said she understands, but she cannot be incolved personally. I agree w marlow... if she feels the need to take me to court, let her, but in the long run, ya know, it will probably cost her more money than booting him out.
I am very happy for our Ms Sunny as well. Very Happy indeed.
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He was not abusive....just stupid
